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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When did you realise you were a grown up?

82 replies

elliotssong · 17/04/2022 19:26

I'm 30 and was talking to my friend today about at what point we felt grown up was. For me, it was wanting to stay at home with my kids than going out and suddenly realising that all the people I used to party with when I was a teenager/in my early twenties, who we thought would be friends forever, are not preoccupied with their own children/partners and actively turn down nights to spend time with them.

It crazy that just 6-8 years ago nothing would keep them in and now we are all quite content at home. Does something happen in the brain to cause this? Or is it literally just growing up?

Another thing, years ago I'd have a bottle of wine and be ready to go out for the night. Now I have a bottle of wine and am ready for dinner/sleep.

OP posts:
elliotssong · 17/04/2022 19:27

Ahhh so many typos. I've had a bottle of wine Blush

OP posts:
DeePlume · 17/04/2022 19:29

When I realised I'm 10 years older than the characters on friends!

HerRoyalHappiness · 17/04/2022 19:30

I'm 30 and still don't feel like a grown up despite 3 kids, one if which is a teenager! In my head I'm still 15.

Bookaholic73 · 17/04/2022 19:36

I’m a grown up?

Libertaire · 17/04/2022 19:36

When I was asked to write and deliver a speech at my grandad’s funeral. I was a 19 year old student at the time. As the first person in my family to go to university, it was expected of me.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 19:37

When I had a doctor who looked younger than me

BigFatLiar · 17/04/2022 19:42

I'm looking to retirement and still don't feel I'm grown up, despite raising children I feel like an imposter. OH's the same we still want to play on the swings, eat ice lollies etc. A couple of big kids still.

KitKattaktik · 17/04/2022 19:42

When you would much rather stay home on a Saturday night and watch tv than go to a pub (so noisy! Can't hear yourself think!) Grin

We did go to the pub, it was noisy but so much fun!

Ca55andraMortmain · 17/04/2022 19:45

When I had dd2 and dh referred to 'the kids'. Weirdly I felt like a teenager could have a baby but now I had 'kids', not just one child, I was an adult. (No idea why I felt like that as I was 28 when dd1 was born, not a teen 😂)

Bluebleu · 17/04/2022 19:45

1st time was on a school trip, when it dawned on me I was in charge 😂 I was the teacher! It was only on the coach the reality of being responsible for a group of children sunk in. Prior to that thought, I’d been looking forward to going on a trip!! Started panicking and stressing for the rest of the day. Didn’t enjoy it one bit and went to be exhausted about 7pm!
2 nd time a couple of years later in a different job, I walked into the campus canteen where my students were gathered around one of their friends. She’d just been told that her dad had passed away and was in bits. I was about 10 years older than the students back then and considered myself young! But that day when I got there, it was the look of sheer relief on their faces that ‘an adult’ had turned up and would know what to do. Slowly it dawned on me, it was me.
They are the two that stick out for me the most.

iklboo · 17/04/2022 19:48

Wait? I'm a grown up? Aaaarrrgghhh!!

Lindy2 · 17/04/2022 19:48

I recently had to make some difficult decisions on behalf of one of my DC. I really wished for someone else to be able to be the grown up for me and take charge.

There's no one else though that can take the responsibility so I was left feeling very adult. I'm well over 40 and my child is a teen. It's the first time I've wished I wasn't a grown up.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 17/04/2022 19:49

I was quite pleased today to get home from holiday just before lunch and gey two loads of washing washed, hung out and fully dry.

That was an "I'm a grown up" moment.

stiltonchese · 17/04/2022 19:50

When I managed to blow up party balloons all on my own! Never used to be able to do it. Felt a genuine sense of delight and "I'm an adult now!"

DramaAlpaca · 17/04/2022 19:53

When I had my first child at 29 and realised that I was now responsible for another human.

Badbadbunny · 17/04/2022 19:55

The day I started my first job (trainee accountant), aged 18, the week after I left sixth form. Suddenly having to "work" 9-5, being surrounded by adults, and a sudden realisation that I had to emulate them and act like a professional. I left home that morning feeling like just another school day and came home a completely different, more mature, person.

Ahgoonyegirlye · 17/04/2022 19:56

I persuaded my DM to have a birthday party at home ( she rarely had people over to celebrate her) short notice and realised that she was stressing about what to do, what food to make, etc so I took over.
It was a little thing to me but a big deal for her- I went shopping, rustled up the food, drink, got a playlist of her fav tunes sorted, sent her out with my dad out of the way while me and my sis and GIrlfriend set up.
Then ‘hosted’ sort of, and she had a fab time relaxing with her friends and brothers and sisters.
I was 25 and it was the first time ( of many) that I took a proper adult role in our family.

Hohoholymoley · 17/04/2022 19:56

I've half a bottle of vodka in my cupboard for the last 3 months. That must be a sign.

ajandjjmum · 17/04/2022 19:58

I remember making the appointment and taking myself off to the dentist for the first time - that felt a very grown up thing to do.

Ahgoonyegirlye · 17/04/2022 19:58

About a month after that party I stepped in when an elderly woman collapsed in the street and took charge cos everyone around her was panicking and gave her CPR til the ambulance arrived. Longest 10 mins of my life.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 17/04/2022 19:59

When my eldest broke his arm and I took him to the hospital for his follow up appointment.

The Consultant ignored me, told the nurse what the next steps were, then I found my voice. He then told me exactly what was happening, how long he'd be in a cast, and was extremely careful with the discussion. I took him home three days later.

At the time I was used to dealing with medical staff due to my parents being in and out of hospital, but that really took the biscuit. No-one ever patronised me again.

PrincessPaws · 17/04/2022 20:03

This is the second thread on this tonight. Is it an assignment somewhere?

Do you feel like an adult? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4531941-Do-you-feel-like-an-adult

PersianStar · 17/04/2022 20:05

For various reasons, Me and DP didn’t move out of my mums into our own house until I was 34 and he was 28. We had DD 4 months.
The 2nd night in our new home someone starts hammering on our front door at 11.30pm. We just sat in bed looking at each other saying what shall we do??
That to me was my “shit, I’m the adult now” moment. Though if someone had done that at my mums we would have never have let her go down to answer the door. But at least we would have had an actual grown up with us to tell us what to do Grin

DukeofEarlGrey · 17/04/2022 20:05

I was walking home one evening and some teens on my route were drunk and veering from the pavement into the road. One of them was deliberately wandering into the road and kind of 'squaring up' to oncoming cars (thankfully slow). They made it to the park so I knew nothing had happened to them but feared that it would so I called 101 and got the police to go and find them and send them home. Then I felt like such a grown up. They no doubt hated me.

Purspectivepulease · 17/04/2022 20:07

When I wanted to quit my job but I realised I have two humans dependant on me and I owe quarter of a million to Barclays 😂

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