When did you realise you were a grown up?

[elliotssong]

I'm 30 and was talking to my friend today about at what point we felt grown up was. For me, it was wanting to stay at home with my kids than going out and suddenly realising that all the people I used to party with when I was a teenager/in my early twenties, who we thought would be friends forever, are not preoccupied with their own children/partners and actively turn down nights to spend time with them.

It crazy that just 6-8 years ago nothing would keep them in and now we are all quite content at home. Does something happen in the brain to cause this? Or is it literally just growing up?

Another thing, years ago I'd have a bottle of wine and be ready to go out for the night. Now I have a bottle of wine and am ready for dinner/sleep.

When we moved house and there was a child living opposite who asked his mother "who's that lady" and she introduced me as mrs offred.

I’m in your boat and I’m so glad the big nights out are over and we just have a token catch up now and again instead, tragic 😂 the issue with this is when someone (like my friend) gets cheated on and becomes single, suddenly wanting to go out, go weekends away again, what do you do? It’s like everyone wants to cheer her up and we’re happy to have the odd night out/in with her but everyone already has their own lives going on so we can’t all just drop that to start going clubbing again to find her a man 🙈🙈

When I passed my driving test at 41 last year.When I realised I was older than Homer Simpson

When I had children
When my Dad died
When I became a cater for DM

When I was excited to spend £300 on gravel for the garden 🤣🤣

I think for me it was the moment in work I looked for the grown-up in the room and then had the horrible realisation I Was the grown-up in the room.

It was a complicated situation with no right outcomes and a million variables and I was the one sitting there with people looking to me for the difficult answers.

Half the time I still don't feel like a proper adult though - I'm rubbish at keeping the house tidy and I forget things and I would lose my head if it wasn't screwed on. It's actually hilarious because everyone at work thinks I am super organised and some kind of maestro but it's like I use all my coping ability at work and don't have any left for home.

When I was the only parent at my rugby club so I was called upon to look after a lost toddler as no one else knew what to do.

I still feel partly like a child in adult’s clothing
But for me personally it was moving out and paying my own rent, paying/organising bills and my own household etc without help from parents.

Wen I having DD a doctor was asking about 'mum' I assumed he meant my Mum and couldn't work out why he was asking about her, was it about hereditary health issues?

Then I realised I was mum and I felt grown up, despite being 40. 😊

Hmmm…. Mid-40s, married, 2 kids, mortgage, very responsible job….. still find it hard to believe that I’m a grown up!

Don't know what an NFT is, how to use TikTok or what it's for, don't know how to use IG properly (I have 3 pics on there), left FB and didn't miss it....the list goes on.

Washing my plastic items in the dishwasher before putting it in the correct recycling box for the binmen. Then feeling extremely chuffed when I’d ‘got it right’ and they took the bins I felt very grownup when I realised I hadn’t been to a nightclub in 7 years (and even then it was only for my hen do) I felt even more grown up when I had the confidence to say I wanted to go home at 1am rather than staying until the bitter end.

Buying a dishwasher- despite already having a child and having bought a house 🤣

When my father died and my mother wasn't capable of making the decisions and sorting things out and I had to step up and take responsibility. There was a sudden change in the family dynamics and I became the person who sorted stuff out.

When I realised I had emotionally outgrown my parents. They hurt me, got annoyed with me for being hurt, then martyred up and gave me the silent treatment, smeared me, stonewalled me and then blamed me for the damage to our relationship.

I think it was that more than any other thing that made me feel grown up. Looking at this defensive woman (my mother) and her ludicrously loyal foot-soldier (my Dad) and I felt like a weary adult. Not faking it. Just really trying to claw in a little bit of peace and joy in my life before it's too late and realising that they're what's standing in the way of my peace.

I had my daughter before I passed my driving test.
The first time I felt really grown up was driving to tesco and doing the shopping with her 😂
Done it so many times before that and with my husband but the fact that I had driven there myself made me feel that much more grown up.

26. My best friend killed herself. I miss her every day. My life seemed to change over night. It was like someone turned out the lights.

When I was 23, and my Dad died, and I had to call the funeral directors. That felt like such an adult thing to be doing. I’ve never really felt like a child since.

When I realised that I was old enough to be the mother to most of the students at a young adult group. Other than that I'm not an adult even though I have a mortgage, cat and cats!

I'm 40 and still don't feel like a grown up, that the grown ups around me at secondary school, say, were.

But then I haven't got kids, so maybe its different.

Today .. when I considered 8.20am a lie in 😅

When I was listening to Beastie boys "fight for your right" and realised I was on his mum's side not his.

When I was dealing with a pandemic lock down with two very young children and realised instead of looking for a more adulty adult that I'm the adult

When it somehow fell to me to be the one to tell someone that her best friend had died. Nobody else would step up.

I was 34, recently passed my driving test, and was walking back to the car in Morrisons car park with a full trolley of food.
On. My. Own.