AIBU to wish for more on my 30th birthday?

[Chasingyourtail]

I'm 30 tomorrow and feeling really low today. I actually feel like 30 is still very young and haven't given the milestone much thought.

My partner and I have just got back from a city break which I fully organised as he's not great at organising things. I booked the hotel, planned all our activities and we had an ok time - he's happy sort of just going along with anything, I felt a bit flat during our time away if that makes sense, like I wanted us both to enjoy ourselves?

My mum and her husband had our 18 month old while we were away and today when I picked him up, she just complained about how hard work it was and that it's harder for her as she's older. While I appreciate this, we are fairly close and she knows ive found motherhood challenging and it wasn't particularly nice to hear. Her and her husband have also decided to have a last minute trip away tonight and will return late tomorrow afternoon. When it was her 50th, I organised balloons, a custom made cake, breakfast out and a train journey for my brother who lives 3 hours away to surprise her.

While I did all of these things because I wanted to and not to have them done for me in return, is it so wrong for me to be feeling down about it all today? We have nothing organised for my birthday tomorrow, I don't think I even have a cake.

I guess I just wanted to get it all written down to try and understand why I'm feeling like I am today. Does anyone have advice on how to move on from these feelings? I really want to make the best out of the situation and not wallow too much.

My 30th birthday I cried my eyes out as I had organised my birthday lunch, gave Now-ex DH a list of things to choose from for my present (his request) and he bought everything on the list then gave it to me in the shop carrier bag, before the day, and he expected me to be happy he was going for "a few beers with a mate" in the evening of my birthday.

It sucked. I cried.

You sound miserable, op. You said you're having a bad mental health day, do you have these days regularly?

Happy birthday for Tomorrow, I don’t think you’re being ungrateful or selfish, you sound like the one who organises everything without being told and without any effort..it would be nice for one day out of the year for someone to do it for you xx

[quote Chasingyourtail]@Comedycook thanks for your input though I've found your comments quite hurtful. Yes I am lucky my mum will have DS one day and one night a week. I've worked hard, stepped into the role for no extra pay and then interviewed for the promotion so that I can afford nursery for the rest of the week, it is a necessity to be earning more as my partner is on minimum wage. My partner said to me earlier 'i've booked this, and then we're going to do this' and then asked in a very accusatory tone 'is that enough?' while I'm upset, I've thanked him and told him I appreciate his effort.[/quote]
I think your DP has been unfair here and made you feel bad for wanting to do something on your birthday by saying "is that enough?" like you've made him do something for you - so now you better be grateful ...? I can understand how that would make you upset

I hope you still manage to enjoy your day tomorrow OP, it is hard when you think of everyone and everything and I don't think you're being unreasonable to want to be thought of too

you sound very hard to please, maybe the people around you don't bother because nothing is ever good enough.
My sister is the same, moans about everything people get her or do for her. Family make minimal effort now.

Happy 30th birthday OP; you're so still young and IMO 30s are the absolute best. More money, self esteem and direction than your 20s, less insecurity - for me at least.

You sound really sad OP and quite lonely. Mumsnet can be brutal at times if you dare to feel disappointed about a birthday or unsatisfied with your life despite having good things in it.

Maybe you need to have a proper talk with both your partner and your mum about how you feel in general. But don't do it quite yet, try to enjoy your birthday first, then explain that you would like him to take on more organising and be a bit more proactive in your relationship, and you wish she and you were closer again because you miss her.