Or is this not how anyone does washing?!

[Sofiegiraffe]

Who is BU here, me or DP?

When I put a wash load in the machine, I pick up each item individually and sort of make a mental note of it so I have a rough idea of what is going into the machine (in case anyone asks where an item of their clothing is, or in case I'm wondering "where's that pair of black trousers of mine?", for example).

DP claims to just "pick up a load of stuff and shove it in". He doesn't put them in one by one. So if it's a darks wash that he's put on, and I ask "are my black trousers in that wash?" or "is DD's pink dress in that colours wash by any chance?", he won't know. All he knows is that he shoved a load of dark or coloured stuff in.

He thinks that's a perfectly reasonable way to do the washing. I think surely no one else does this? Surely most people look at what they're putting in so they at least have a rough idea of what's going in?!

Who is BU? Please settle this once and for all!

It has the clothes in that we've carried down to be washed. I thought that would be obvious.

No, it wasn’t at all obvious why you would carry clothes to the washing machine and not wash them.

I still don’t get your way of doing it.

Surely work clothes get prioritised on the last day of your working week or as soon as possible thereafter?

And the dc clothes for nursery/childcare/school are similarly done on the last day of their “week” of attending?

So on a Friday for me for example? Which gives time to wash them and hang them on the airer to dry?

I get what you’re doing with the basket - it’s similar to my system. I have a basket in each bedroom and one in the hotpress. When the bedroom ones are full they’re taken to the hotpress and dumped in that basket and that basket is checked to see if there’s a load. If there is that load is taken downstairs and washed. But there might be a small amount of clothes left in the basket because there was too much for a full load.

In the days of having young kids that rarely happened for me though as I segregated more by wear type of clothes - so I did a load of uniform sweatshirts and trousers, a load of white shirts and polos. Every Friday as soon as possible.

Friday night was my work clothes which all went in together on a synthetic wash. I didn’t have stuff that needed special treatment.

Saturday morning was general kids clothes and Saturday afternoon was bedding.

Nothing washed on a Sunday unless there was gym kit to be done.

Ironing done on a Sunday and airers cleared and socks paired. Put into each persons washing box and they took it and put it away. I did smallest kids until they were big enough to do it themselves.

YABU

It's not a safe bet because if there are too many darks for that particular cycle, I have no idea whether DP prioritised putting them in or not. And he doesn't know either when I ask him.

It's too late anyway by the time the washing is on, because whether the trousers are in there or not makes no difference. What you need to do is ask him to make sure your trousers are in it when he is preparing to put a load on.

Then both baskets are empty, and we start again. doesn’t seem to follow from doing one load of a particular colour.

Sort it, empty the pockets, shove it in.

The other alternative is for each of you to take complete control of a task.

So you take washing from beginning to end and he takes cooking. Or cleaning. Or some other task or tasks that between you you agree is roughly equivalent.

Because the issue seems to be that you need work trousers and he needs work trousers and the baby needs specific clothes and this stresses you as you have different approaches to doing the washing.

I have two baskets and can understand the system a bit; upstairs for clothes and kitchen for bits downstairs (muddy, wet, teatowels, stuff from any bags when we've been away etc). Upstairs laundry bin gets emptied into downstairs every couple of days, then the first dark load gets immediately put on at 30 degrees, colours only get separated for 3+ washes. The downstairs basket might keep one or two big dark things if it's too much for one load, but the whites stay in the bucket until they fill up a load, or more usually until towels or sheets join them.

I'm still not memorising whose T-shirt is where, pick a different T-shirt if you can't see it.

While I separate any whites out, I touch the dirty washing as little as humanly possible. I have two teenage sons who play a lot of sport and the washing basket smells grim.

My routine is breathe in, extract whites, breathe out, carry downstairs, breathe in again, shove it in the washing machine and extract asap before retching.

Looking through what's in the basket of doom would be a danger to health.

@abc4321

While I separate any whites out, I touch the dirty washing as little as humanly possible. I have two teenage sons who play a lot of sport and the washing basket smells grim.

My routine is breathe in, extract whites, breathe out, carry downstairs, breathe in again, shove it in the washing machine and extract asap before retching.

Looking through what's in the basket of doom would be a danger to health.

I hear you on the dirty gym kit.

Teenage boys kit stinks like nothing else. It’s horrible.

I have a darks basket and a lights basket upstairs. I do washes once a week and just split them into two loads each- what can be bunged in the dryer and what can't. The kids clothes get thrown in together whenever their basket is full.

@AchillesPoirot

I still don’t get your way of doing it.

Surely work clothes get prioritised on the last day of your working week or as soon as possible thereafter?

And the dc clothes for nursery/childcare/school are similarly done on the last day of their “week” of attending?

So on a Friday for me for example? Which gives time to wash them and hang them on the airer to dry?

Yeah this is pretty much my approach.

Thursday night I soak white stuff overnight (my teen insists on white socks but then plays sports in them...) then when they are home from school the white wash goes on. Then a mixed load with work/other school uniform and anything else that fits in.

@ManyATime

It has the clothes in that we've carried down to be washed. I thought that would be obvious.

No, it wasn’t at all obvious why you would carry clothes to the washing machine and not wash them.

I have to explain again?

Because there may not be enough in that basket to make up a full load of darks, colours, or whites. Therefore it gets carried there, emptied, and taken back upstairs until I can add to it, to make up a full load.

Surely this isn't so hard to understand?

@Sofiegiraffe
You seem to be deliberately misunderstanding me. I used the past tense. I didn’t say I don’t understand.

I don’t separate colours and never have an issue. I only wash at 30 though.

I shove everything from the washing basket in when it seems like it will fit a load - roughly every other day.

Because there may not be enough in that basket to make up a full load of darks, colours, or whites. Therefore it gets carried there, emptied, and taken back upstairs until I can add to it, to make up a full load.

So why not wait until there is just enough in the basket (the odd tea towel or baby's vest in the downstairs basket is hardly going to make the difference between full load or not) for a full load, and then carry the clothes that you are about to wash down to the washing machine and put them straight on to wash.
At the moment you seem to have a system of clothes randomly spread between 3 baskets and in the washing machine. So it's no wonder you need to make mental notes about what's where. Other people don't do this as they just wash their clothes as they go along including having routines for things that need washing at a particular time like washing DC's school uniform at the end of the week.

It seems like a little chunk of your worries might be eased by handing over the washing of DPs work clothes to him. My partner also has 5 sets of uniform to wash in a week- they go in a seperate pile, on the last shift of the week they make a single wash load to go in. I don't worry about putting other stuff in, as I know that this load can also all go.in the tumble dryer, then a pile that doesn't need sorting, straight back to the drawer for next week. Means less sorting and it's about a full load anyway.

All this weekend washing for uniform when you have 5-6 sets makes no sense, with multiple people you have more than one load. Stick on a darks wash mid-week and weekend; splitting the task means you never get in the position of running out, so you don't have to identify whose black or navy trousers want washing.

@MRex

All this weekend washing for uniform when you have 5-6 sets makes no sense, with multiple people you have more than one load. Stick on a darks wash mid-week and weekend; splitting the task means you never get in the position of running out, so you don't have to identify whose black or navy trousers want washing.

My kids had 3 sets each. I couldn’t afford 5 sets per child.

Once they got to secondary school they had 2 x trousers or skirt, 1x blazer (washed once a term), 1 x jumper and 5 x white shirts

If it's in the washing bin, it goes in!

And if something needs washing, it goes in the laundry bin...

I have 4 children in uniform plus DH work uniform too. I find it far easier to wash it all and tumble dry at the weekend. I used to do it in bits with normal clothes over the week but found it got scattered about in with normal clothes.

We now have a uniform wardrobe and a uniform washing basket. Everything goes in there then at the weekend I do a boys uniform wash, a girls uniform wash, a pe kit wash, DH work clothes wash and a white shirts wash. All tumble dried (well line at the moment) ironed and back in the uniform wardrobe. Boring yes but it keeps us organised.

I also tend to do a single wash at the same time in the week. So I'll do my clothes one wash, DH clothes another one, a boys wash a girls wash a nappy wash etc so when I'm putting things away they are all in the same room and it saves time.

God I sound so dull 🤣

@MRex

All this weekend washing for uniform when you have 5-6 sets makes no sense, with multiple people you have more than one load. Stick on a darks wash mid-week and weekend; splitting the task means you never get in the position of running out, so you don't have to identify whose black or navy trousers want washing.

My daughter (along with just about everyone she knows) has 1 school skirt. Hence it gets washed on a Friday night. That's the norm for pretty much every secondary school parent. Particularly the parents of the boys where a pair of trousers gets outgrown almost before you get it home from the shop

Even at primary school level having more than 2 trouser/skirts or 2 jumpers was unusual. Not everyone is affluent enough to have multiple sets of uniform.

@Plantsandpuddlesuits

I also tend to do a single wash at the same time in the week. So I'll do my clothes one wash, DH clothes another one, a boys wash a girls wash a nappy wash etc so when I'm putting things away they are all in the same room and it saves time.

God I sound so dull 🤣

It's not dull - it's practical and it saves on mental load as everything is consistent so you don't have to think about it.