Or is this not how anyone does washing?!

[Sofiegiraffe]

Who is BU here, me or DP?

When I put a wash load in the machine, I pick up each item individually and sort of make a mental note of it so I have a rough idea of what is going into the machine (in case anyone asks where an item of their clothing is, or in case I'm wondering "where's that pair of black trousers of mine?", for example).

DP claims to just "pick up a load of stuff and shove it in". He doesn't put them in one by one. So if it's a darks wash that he's put on, and I ask "are my black trousers in that wash?" or "is DD's pink dress in that colours wash by any chance?", he won't know. All he knows is that he shoved a load of dark or coloured stuff in.

He thinks that's a perfectly reasonable way to do the washing. I think surely no one else does this? Surely most people look at what they're putting in so they at least have a rough idea of what's going in?!

Who is BU? Please settle this once and for all!

@PussyCatEatingEasterEggs

Only me n DH. Been together 19yrs, married 10yrs and we've lived in this house since 2005.

He has yet to be acquainted with the washing machine, tumble dryer or oven...

He can work a kettle and a toaster, so it's not all bad. 🤦‍♀️

I'm sure he thinks the "room with the kettle in" is just some sort of porch between the hall and the garden...

Why do you put up with this? Seriously. It's so disrespectful. You're a partner, not a fucking servant.

I do put a wash on most days so if it isn’t put away in your cupboard then it’s usually in the washing machine! Fairly easy to keep track that way

I do check what I am putting in the washer, in case something needs a cooler or more gentle wash, I have too often bunged a load in, not realising it includes a hand knitted sock or something which has been included by accident

I don't even separate colours! 😂 if something is new it gets washed separately for the first wash then with a colour catcher in for the second wash (mixed with other stuff) then everything in together after that! Never had a problem with colours spreading, and have better things to do with my time! I get everyone's clothes out the night before so I know they aren't going to need anything that's in the wash so doesn't matter if it's in or not.

Your DH isn't the weird one here

I shove in a load. If someone wants something specific then it's either put wherever they dump their clean clothes. Or it isn't clean in which case they can't wear it.

I think you and DP are at the extremes of washing habits!

I sort into different loads by use and colour type. As they go in the washing machine I will have a vague idea of what’s included but not a whole inventory.

I try and make a vague mental note of where dd's work uniform is, but other than that, nope.

The rule of thumb here is if it's not in the drawer/wardrobe then it's in the wash. I thought that was pretty standard 😂

I have seperate washbags so the washing is already seperated but I sort through each item before placing it in the machine before the wash mostly because I need to decide which item I need to place in a wash bag and I also use those wash balls which make the clothes slightly dryer.

Had giggle at your post OP, omg some women do av em 😆

No note taking of any kind, or separating for that matter. If anyone wants something washing specifically they have to put it in the machine themselves, including me. There are 6 of us so a load happens every night so lots of opportunity.

Would it be a better idea for you to say… “my work trousers are needed for tomorrow or the girls need their dotty jumper for nursery. When you put the wash on can you put them in there?”

Rather than after the event?
You sound hard work though.

Every one puts their washing in the bathroom wash bin, everything get shoved into the washing machine and then dryer together. I don’t separate anything.

There are 5 of us, I don’t have the head space to keep track!

No I do not put things in one by one. My laundry basket is divided into light or dark and one half gets bunged in at once.

sort by colour and shove it in. no notes taken, mental or otherwise.

YABU

I'm a shover-inner. I separate darks, not darks, and wool, but pay no other attention.

I think a mixture here, but more on the don't check. I have no idea whats in any given wash, but I will think to myself, im out of jeans, must make sure I put a pair in the wash next. But that feels very different from what you're doing. Are you aware of what's in the washing basket at any given time? If not, why is it different than what's actually in the washing machine?

And yes, a 3 hour cycle is long and probably using far more electric than you need! It's probably worth looking into different settings. Even a cotton wash high spin with a prewash here for stinky stuff is under 2.5 hours

Team OP here!

Sort everything, and make a mental note of what's in each load.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles
I do the laundry and the cooking.
He hoovers, does all the outdoor chores and maintainance (mowing, bins, cleans cars, windows etc) and anything else that will fuck up my knackered shoulder/neck.
Laundry isn't hard - I remember using my mum being pleased with her new twin-tub and helping her as a child...automatic washing machines do pretty much everything apart from sorting light from dark- it's not that time consuming and I'd rather 5mins sorting than faffing about with a lawnmower. 🤷‍♀️

I don't intentionally do it, but I do know if I've put school uniform or football kits in the wash. Actually, the load of washing is normally instigated by the fact those items will be needed in the next day or two.

Other stuff... Good luck. If it's not in away in your chest of drawers or in the pile of clean clothes that never gets put away then it'll either be in your laundry basket or washing machine or drying. Find it yourself.

I get what you mean OP. I wear way more dark clothes than light so my dark wash is likely to be two loads. In that situation I’ll sort it into “work dresses and other stuff I need first” and “things that won’t constitute a disaster if they don’t go through the wash today” (I’m a carer for my disabled DH as well as working FT so my weekends can be overtaken by medical emergencies which mean I don’t necessarily get all the housework and laundry done that I’d planned to do).

Your brain only registers each item automatically because you put them into the machine individually. If I did that I would also know what's in there. But I just scoop up the same colours and bung them in. Honestly don't have the time or the desire to do it your way

I tend to separate items, into colours, whites, bedding and towels. I try to remember to check pockets and pull the legs and arms out properly, detangle underwear and unroll socks. All of which pisses me off, as my DH and 3 DC are more than capable, but are lazy. When totally annoyed I shove and run and think sod it.

No I do it differently. I'll grab DDs, DHs and my washing. Throw it into piles on the floor.
All colour matched. I'll throw in as much as the machine takes for each load until its done.

If someone asks where x/y/z is. I'll say the whites are in at the moment.

I might have a slightly better idea if there's bedding being washed because I tend to know that's the bulk of one wash so I'll probably know what the rest of the wash consists of.

I have separate dirty wash baskets which I've trained Dp to use - kind of. My main one which is coloured or dark stuff which goes in all together, not fussy about colour on this as long as it's colourful or dark. Just our day to day clothes. I then have a small basket for whites or lights and another for towels. So I can just shove everything in quickly from basket to machine, without really checking!

YANBU! I sort stuff into dark/lights etc not really paying attention, but then put them into the machine pretty much individually so I can check there's no woolens/needy clothes/colour mishaps etc and the byproduct of that is I pretty much know where things are and if anything needs to be rushed through/dried differently.
DH shoves but we've had so many colour runs/shrinkage/ruined woolens/things not ready with his method.