I do want to start this by saying I love my sister, I will obviously be at her wedding, be her Maid of Honour, smile for the pictures etc and wish her the very best in her married life.
However, her wedding is now less than a month away and every single day something else comes up and I just makes me so annoyed and upset.
When I got married my parents gave us X towards it and then paid for things like my dress separately. They also paid for their outfits, hen and stag do and other incidentals separately. They told my sister she would get the exact same.
My sister's wedding rolls around and her reception alone costs more than everything my parents paid for mine plus the extras. Literally they have spent I would say double on hers as they did mine because "that's what she wants".
They spent the run up to my wedding talking me out of things I wanted as "a waste of money" - for example a band is a waste, have a DJ; no one wants a weekend long hen do; do you really want that dress it's a bit expensive for one day; hmm those venues will costs guests, why not go here as its cheaper etc. Etc.
Yet my sister wanted a pianist and a DJ? No problem. She wants an expensive venue? Looks lovely. A weekend long hen and stag? Can't wait to go.
In the end I had a wedding somewhere I didn't particularly like, with nothing I really wanted, because it all became too overbearing and overwhelming.
My wedding is nothing that I wanted and when I look back its not a special day, just a day.
My sister, on the other hand, will say "jump" and my parents will ask "how high?". Nothing is too much trouble and she will get everything and anything she asks for. My parents are also paying for things they didn't agree to pay for because my sister and her husband to be "forgot to save for it" and its just an "of course, how much and is there anything else?"
It's not so much the money, I wanted to spend less and go abroad and i could never spend that much money on a day. Its more the double standards and hypocrisy - we would both get the same which obviously didn't happen and its very clear that this is the case. I got all the negativity and nothing that i wanted and she gets what she wants constantly without any issues.
And now with it drawing closer its just a constant reminder of the different way in which we're treated.
There has always been differences (they paid for her to do a masters ans when I asked for a loan, which would be repaid, it was an outright no; gave her thousands towards a house but when it came to me they gave money then told me it needed repaid afterwards; my sister wanted decking for a party and they just paid for it) but this is probably the biggest "comparison" so to speak and it hurts. To see one sibling who is obviously the favourite get whatever they want, when they want, whatever the cost and the other to constantly be told "no".
I know I sound like a child.
I know a lot of people don't even get what o did.
I know it is such a trivial thing.
Maybe the wedding is just a red herring - it probably is, it's probably not even what is upsetting me. It's just a physical manifestation of the different ways we are treated.
But it hurts and I can't speak to anyone irl about it.
Would you be upset/annoyed at the differences?