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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aunt sends me religious cards

147 replies

Iamnotreligious · 15/04/2022 18:45

My aunt knows I am not in the slightest bit religious and I won't disrespect her faith she's devout catholic.

Every Christmas, Easter, Birthday she sends me a very religious card with a passage from the bible and a well meaning message about how much God loves me. I can't not reply I'm not rude but how can I politely ask her to not send me religious cards or as it's just a few times a year and she feels feels she's doing something nice just suck it up and keep being polite?

OP posts:
Porcupineintherough · 15/04/2022 18:49

Why would you object? You say you wouldn't disrespect her faith but surely asking her to stop would be just that. Are you worried her faith is catching? Or do you object to her belief that a god you dont believe in loves you?

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 15/04/2022 18:49

If she knows you are not religious, then why are you afraid of being 'rude' or 'disrespecting' her faith? She clearly doesn't give a shit about being rude to you or disrespecting your non-belief, so tell her firmly and unequivocally to stop, and if it continues, send the stuff back to her so she gets the hint.

PotteringAlong · 15/04/2022 18:50

Why would you ever do anything than just be polite about them? To do anything else is horrifically rude.

Sammysquiz · 15/04/2022 18:51

Just suck it up of course! Why on earth would you say anything? You don’t have to get it framed, just appreciate that someone cares enough for you to send a card and move on.

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/04/2022 18:51

Keep being polite. I'm completely atheist and have been for decades, still get religious cards. They don't hurt me any and are well-intended.

If they were threatening eternal hellfire and damnation I might feel different! Grin

AngeloMysterioso · 15/04/2022 18:51

They’re just cards…

MTCV · 15/04/2022 18:51

I had this with a family member, just left it. It means something to them, they're thinking of you and it's how they think. You're not obliged to send anything religious back. The last I heard was a snotty message about how disappointed she was for not being invited to my DC's christenings. I asked my parents to explain next time the saw her that it wasn't a snub, that my DC are not going to be christened. Not had anything from her since.

DappledShade · 15/04/2022 18:51

You just need to not say anything. All Easter cards are sort of religious in a way anyway, I think it is lovely that she thinks of you and takes the time to write and send you a card.

Leeds2 · 15/04/2022 18:52

I wouldn't say anything to her at all, and continue to accept the cards, but I wouldn't reply to them/say thank you.

MrsSchrute · 15/04/2022 18:52

So three cards a year? I'd just thank her for the card and move on. Couldn't get too worked up about it.

RaininSummer · 15/04/2022 18:52

Atheist here too but wouldn't find it offensive. Pointless maybe.

Thatswhyimacat · 15/04/2022 18:52

Look, I'm not religious, but it's not like she's telling you you're going to burn in hell. Easter is a Christian celebration and I think if there is any time of year your poor aunt should be able to send you a nice card with a bit of God on it, it's now.

Tyrozet · 15/04/2022 18:53

Just thank her and then put the card away/ into the recycling if you don't want to display it.

I fail to see how this could offend you when you're not religious yourself. If she was pushing her beliefs on you when she knew you followed a different faith then that might be offensive, but as you claim not to have any religious preference, surely it's meaningless and not something you need to feel offended by?

Ylvamoon · 15/04/2022 18:53

In her head she doing something nice. So just suck it up and be happy that your aunt cares about you.

Ponderingwindow · 15/04/2022 18:54

I am an atheist. I have quite negative feelings about most religions.

When my friends and family send me religious cards, I take them on the spirit they are intended, which is a message of love. They in return seem happy to receive my generic holiday messages in December or even the occasional card explicitly referencing the solstice. I know my Christian relatives also don’t mind getting Hanukkah cards or messages celebrating any other holiday.

Ohmygoshyoudontsay · 15/04/2022 18:54

Just say thanks for the cards. No need to be rude.

IncompleteSenten · 15/04/2022 18:54

Just do whatever you'd do with any other card. Say thanks for the card and chuck it in the recycling.

PotteringAlong · 15/04/2022 18:54

And 2 of the 3 things you’ve mentioned are major Christian festivals. Of course they will be religious cards!

Anotherpassengerwantstogetoff · 15/04/2022 18:57

Just say ‘thank you for the card’.

DH’s aunt, when she was alive, sent us palm crosses every Easter. She was religious, we weren’t but I would never have asked her to not send us religious cards & blessings.

BlancmanegeBunny · 15/04/2022 18:58

Christmas and Easter are the times when Christians are most likely to express their faith.

EggBurger · 15/04/2022 19:01

I have an Aunt like yours! She is devout Catholic and sends religious cards and even draws a crucifix after her signature. Meh! It makes her happy and it doesn't hurt me in any way. I'd never say anything to her about it.

StoneofDestiny · 15/04/2022 19:01

Blimey - you are not going to 'catch religion' from a card! What's the problem - she is sending you good wishes according to her beliefs. Why be offended or rude?

EggBurger · 15/04/2022 19:02

Oh, I too am atheist, if it wasn't obvious

2old2beamum · 15/04/2022 19:04

Slightly off piste but many years ago having given birth in a Salvation Army Maternity Home, on discharge had to go to Matron's office and pray with her to thank God. I refused my atheist father was furious with me, he said I was disrespectful as a non believer it should not bother me, hate to admit it he was right it was rude.

Organictangerine · 15/04/2022 19:04

You don’t, OP. It’s a bit like somebody sending you a postcard from holiday; it doesn’t mean you’ve been there or that they expect you to go there. Just that they’re thinking about you and sending you a caring message. Taking offence where the opposite is intended.