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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aunt sends me religious cards

147 replies

Iamnotreligious · 15/04/2022 18:45

My aunt knows I am not in the slightest bit religious and I won't disrespect her faith she's devout catholic.

Every Christmas, Easter, Birthday she sends me a very religious card with a passage from the bible and a well meaning message about how much God loves me. I can't not reply I'm not rude but how can I politely ask her to not send me religious cards or as it's just a few times a year and she feels feels she's doing something nice just suck it up and keep being polite?

OP posts:
crepesncream · 15/04/2022 19:57

I love getting cards that remind me of the true meaning of Easter, Christmas etc. But if they offend you, bin them. Can't see the problem.

phoenixrosehere · 15/04/2022 20:00

Two second glance and right into the paper shredder. It would be in there anyway regardless. Cards go straight into the paper shredder after a week here unless there is a personal photo or something sentimental written. Someone reciting/sending bible verses do not fall into that category in our house.

Crystalvas · 15/04/2022 20:01

@Sarkymarky

Are you bored op??
🤣
KatherineJaneway · 15/04/2022 20:01

YABU

grapewines · 15/04/2022 20:02

Someone is thinking about you and lets you know. How awful for you.

Say thank you, bin the card, and move on.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 15/04/2022 20:05

It would be so unbelievably rude to dictate what sort of card she sends you! I do wonder if the world's home mad when I read posts like this Shock

WonderfulYou · 15/04/2022 20:07

Yes suck it up.
My gran used to always send me a religious Easter, Christmas etc card.

Obviously they are religious holidays so as a religious person she is bound to send a card that celebrates the occasion.

My Muslim neighbour always gave me a Christmas card even though she didn’t celebrate Christmas herself.

Creameggs223 · 15/04/2022 20:08

My nan buys her cards from the church shop so always something religious on them I thank her read what she wrote then put the card away or bin and forget all about it, really is not an issue.

Hopefulsunrise · 15/04/2022 20:13

How nice to have a relative that cares about you and keeps in regular contact. Bin the cards and stop being ungrateful.

altforvarmt · 15/04/2022 20:14

This is her trying to express that she's thinking of you in a way that is meaningful to her. She's not trying to convert you. It's not offensive.

Equally, if you sent her an Easter card, it would be non-religious, and it might have bunnies on it, and it would be sent with affection. It wouldn't mean you were trying to convert her away from her faith. It wouldn't mean you were being in any way offensive.

As an atheist, I'd encourage you not to go taking offence where it's not warranted.

mumda · 15/04/2022 20:17

Do you celebrate Christmas and Easter? Suck it up buttercup.

Why would you want to upset someone who cares about you over something so trivial.

If you never get rubbish birthday cards then you're very lucky.

Sometimeswinning · 15/04/2022 20:20

I hope you don't celebrate Easter or Christmas! Regardless of any excuse they are recognised Christian celebrations!! Honestly stop overthinking and start appreciating kind thoughts!

ButtockUp · 15/04/2022 20:23

I often get very religious cards and sometimes get those rice paper wafers .
I just bin them.
If it makes the sender feel good , because of their religious guilt, then so be it.

It's not a problem.

Just bin them .

godmum56 · 15/04/2022 20:24

@Sometimeswinning

I hope you don't celebrate Easter or Christmas! Regardless of any excuse they are recognised Christian celebrations!! Honestly stop overthinking and start appreciating kind thoughts!
actually they predate christianity massively.
SpeedofaSloth · 15/04/2022 20:28

Just recycle them and move on.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2022 20:28

It’s up to her what cards she sends.

Who made you God Grin etc

covilha · 15/04/2022 20:31

I always send Eater cards, though I am the only person I know who sends them. The season is special to me and I like to share this joy with those whom I love. People have always seemed appreciative. I would be mortified if I thought the card had upset someone and so would prefer to know, though I would be upset to have caused upset. Do the cards upset you or can you tolerate them? How old is your aunt?

Bonbon21 · 15/04/2022 20:31

Someone holds you in their heart.
Aren't you lucky!

Sometimeswinning · 15/04/2022 20:34

actually they predate christianity massively.

Honestly! This is why I had the disclaimer as a recognised celebration. I thought to myself when I wrote this, give it time and someone is going to object! Easter Grin

mumwon · 15/04/2022 20:36

she probably gets her cards as a job lot & because these celebrations are religious (even thought the rest of us heathens just regard it as commercial or as an excuse for a knees up or overeating or buying things we don't need) why shouldn't she?
At least she is thinking of you - as long as she doesn't send you a bible or religious scripts I wouldn't worry.

mumwon · 15/04/2022 20:38

@Luredbyapomegranate
I am equally brainwashed as a young child age 6 & my mind immediately went into the rest of the catechism

Whatalovelydaffodil · 15/04/2022 20:40

What kind of cards do you send her?

Spidey66 · 15/04/2022 20:44

I'm completely non religious (anti religion to a degree) but others can believe what they want.

I'd probably roll my eyes, keep it on the mantlepiece for a couple of days before chucking it in the recycling.

As long as she knows you have no interest in joining a church, I doubt I'd mention it.

YouHaveYourFathersBreasts · 15/04/2022 20:45

Your aunt isn’t doing this to disrespect you, she’s chosen those cards because she loves you and chooses to express her love at those times. Easter and Christmas are important dates in the Christian calendar after all.

My mother prays for everyone, including me. It wound me up when I was 13 or whatever but as an adult I realise that even though I don’t believe in the power of prayer like she does, it’s her way of showing her love and feeling like she’s doing something to help.

Greensleeves · 15/04/2022 20:47

I would find it very irritating. Presumably she knows you don't share her beliefs, so she is, albeit in a very mild and well-meaning way, imposing hers on you. I would ask her to tone it down, particularly the messages about God loving you etc. It's not appropriate to keep forcing that on you when she knows you don't believe in it.

I am not a "meh, I have no strong preference" kind of atheist. I am an atheist who has left Christianity behind and I have strong views about the destructive, damaging force that organised religion has been in human affairs. So no, it's not a trivial irrelevance to be ignored, to me. It's actively pernicious and I don't want it in my home, so any relative who persisted in foisting it on me would find themselves on a very distant footing.