What age is it ok to have kids at home when WFH

[Burnt0utMum]

What age would you say it's ok to have kids at home whilst you're working from home? Or does it vary based on the child? Should it be ok as long as it's not affecting your work or should there be some sort of ban?

@HaveringWavering I work for my local parish council (it’s a very large one) managing their land and assets and overseeing contractors. There are 35 play areas, a 100ac wildlife reserve, lots of community centres and county parks, bus stops etc… I run community projects such as the community garden and youth outreach projects. I also do lots of more legal documents such as leases, licences and tenders.

I’ve been promoted to deputy clerk so will be doing more office based work instead of inspecting assets. Daughter has come with me in the sling to do things like doing weekly safety park inspections but now plays in the playgrounds while I do the inspections.

I work from home. However I think it's cruel if the kids are completely ignored by silent parents behind closed doors all day.

Mine were older school-age when I started working from home, and I take about 45 minutes off when they get home to chat through their day over tea and biscuits. They usually have a bit of homework, or go off to watch TV, so I get another hour in, and then I cook. I take them in as well. So though I work from home, they hardly even notice, let alone be affected.

I would not have done this with small children and toddlers who need stimulation.

You always get the Mumsnet Office Warrior types out on these threads.

I have a stressful job where many of my colleagues have children under 5. They all manage to WFH a few days a week and their productivity doesn't seem to be affected.

I'm not saying it's ideal but I'm so pleased I don't work with any of the tiring interfering office busybodies who "wouldn't allow it".

@Snoozer11

You always get the Mumsnet Office Warrior types out on these threads.

I have a stressful job where many of my colleagues have children under 5. They all manage to WFH a few days a week and their productivity doesn't seem to be affected.

I'm not saying it's ideal but I'm so pleased I don't work with any of the tiring interfering office busybodies who "wouldn't allow it".

My experience is completely the opposite which is why I would be very wary of employing anyone who is looking after children while working. Both are jobs. You can't do both effectively with young children. I have a business to run, I'm not an 'office warrior'

Having endured forced WFH/schooling my 9 year old is now perfectly happy and adjusted being at home while I work.

She only interrupts for emergencies (so far just one involving a smashed glass), doesn't spend all day on screens, plays outdoors, makes her own lunch and is perfectly content in her own company.

During school holidays I make a point of taking her to the park for my lunch break, taking whichever of her school friends is around for a tag along so I get fresh air and get to see her enjoying.

She really struggled at the start of lockdown so I do think younger than 8/9 really isn't fair on the child, especially if their temperament doesn't suit enjoying their own company without the help of screens.

Surely it’s depends on your job and manager? My job is flexi and my manager doesn’t care if the kids are home and you’re flitting between the two because as a team we are consistently getting our work done and to a very high standard. We win loads of awards so we must be doing something ok!

So many variables. How long for? An hour after school or a whole day? Temperament of child? What kind of work?

This ^
If you are on video calls that is a world away from someone who is working on a report / checking e-mails / entering data etc. With the latter, if you get interrupted, it doesn't matter too much - you can work 10mins later at the end of the day. With the former, it isn't workable.

If you are talking about 'after school until the end of the day' then that is different from if you were talking about all day.
If you are talking about an occasional day when they are home sick, that is different from if you are talking 'always'.

Obviously babies / toddlers / pre-schoolers, then never.

I'd say 8 for a half day here and there and 9 for a full day here and there. I don't panic if I have to work during the holidays and DS (10) isn't at a club or a friends house. But that'd include me or DH checking in with him several times a day inc lunch or him joining us for a dog walk. I still book some holiday activities for him but if he's spending 2 or 3 days max within a two week holiday period at home when I'm working, I feel its OK. He would be looking at screens for a lot of it though (a dream for him, but I'm not happy for that to happen too often).

@mrziggycoco

You can't police it. I have my daughter here all the time as she is home educated. She is 6 and so when I say 'I am in a meeting, please go and play in your room for an hour' she does.

When she was a baby I did typing work and she was here, but she has always been happy since birth as long as I am in the room she was fine. She'd open her eyes in the night to check I was there and go right back to sleep.

I worked at home since my daughter was very young and I make it work as I plan my day around it.

Just out of interest, who is educating your daughter while you are working? Is another parent or childcare giver in the house or are you doing both simultaneously? And is your work ok with that? Not being goady, just interested. I’m a teacher so can’t wfh but equally there is no way I could teach/educate a 6 yo while working. Hats off to you if you can!

Year 7 onwards works.

The two days a week my husband and I both work, he picks the kids up from school then wfh with them for an hour before I get home. They are 6 and 8 and they just watch tv so it’s fine, but if it was more than a couple of days or for a longer period of time it wouldn’t work.

Depends on the child and the job. Presuming desk based work:

Confidential, back to back calls means no interruptions. So not feasible to combine with sole care of primary aged children on an every day basis.

Independent work with some meetings - well, a young child may well interrupt their parent less often than colleagues interrupt each other in open plan offices.
I am more productive at home, despite occasional interruptions from children, than I used to be in the office with requests to attend meetings at the last minute, chat with colleagues, making rounds of coffee, etc. It's not as though most modern offices are quiet oases conducive to long stretches of productivity!

Personally I’d have thought late primary or secondary school age. But I guess some kids would be able to do it a bit ealier.

I still have horrible nightmares about juggling looking after DS and working from home in the first lockdown. He was aged 4 at the start of the first lockdown and it was hell.

We all had Covid last month DS is now 6). It was a bit more bearable to look after him and worn at the same time for 10 days: but he spent a lot more time in front of the tv and PlayStation than we would ever normally allow him

My company is drafting its ongoing home working policy. From 1st June nobody will be able to WFH if they have children there who may also need attention during their working hours. Emergency situations excluded, obviously. But the expectation is that children under 11 will be in school or childcare.

Age 9 for the odd morning / afternoon or short day. Preferably not too regularly… or you just burn out trying to be all things to all people.

Obviously it depends on the nature of the job, confidentiality requirements etc.

@elbea - I am surprised that site visits with a child in tow are approved. My pc would not allow this.

Furthermore a child in a sling may be portable, but a toddler or young child running around when you are meeting with contractors/attempting inspections does not sound as if you are providing a full service concentrating on important issues.

I can’t imagine our pc or deputy (also v large pc) doing this; it sounds weird and unacceptable, unless you are beefing up your job which is actually a few p/t hours.

Mine were 10 and 12 during lockdown 1 and were fine they knew if the door was closed I was in a meeting and they were only to disturb me if the house was on fire. I made sure DS10 had clean clothes to put on and they had breakfast and snacks. I think it depends on the child though.

It also depends on your employers policy on working from home. We are not allowed to use it as a substitute for childcare, ie if we were called in for a meeting, I couldnt say I cant come because my kids are here. So need to be old enough to leave.

On the other hand my husband's company are fine with kids being home at the same time...

Long term is different to the lockdown situation.

So surprised that some are able to WFH with their children under 8. Even for after school hrs! How do you all do it?

My DDs are 4 & 5 and both myself and my husband WFH 2-3 days a week together, we don't collect them until one has fully finished for the day.

It's not fair on them and our meetings can continue until 6pm sometimes and we can't really be disturbed.

We collect them between 4 and 4.30pm and take turns who finishes early.

We do it in shifts, so one starts earlier and the other drops off etc.

There's no way they'd allow us to work until the end of the working day, on calls etc after school, not that we expect them to.

School holidays are a mix of clubs, holidays and A|L.

It's a big juggle - as it is for everyone, but I think we'd lose our jobs if we attempted child care and our jobs at home.

@BerthaLovelock Not really, I do a weekly inspection by just walking around all of our assets and the wildlife park. I report any problems to my assistant who sorts out any issues. It takes four hours normally but if my daughter comes and it takes longer because she goes on the swings or plays, I still record four hours so it doesn’t impact on that.

She does nursery two days a week when I do meetings that she couldn’t come to and the remainder of the time I work at home with her - lots when she’s having a nap or in the evening. Today I went to the office for an hour to do some printing, she sat and coloured while I did it.

It can’t be that unusual because the online clerk course I’m doing regularly has women with small children.

So surprised that some are able to WFH with their children under 8. Even for after school hrs! How do you all do it?

Well, as with anything, it all depends on circumstances.

I suspect for many it's a combination of flexible jobs and well-behaved children who are generally happy to entertain themselves without much need for parental intervention or supervision.

My parents never WFH but I often had to go into work with them during school holidays or at the weekends. I spent most of my time in my mum's office - I'd colour, read magazines/books, play on her computer or draw mostly. I would spend anything from 30 minutes to all day there from the age of 6-7.

Did I get bored? Sure, but I didn't implode either. I just got on with it because it was what I was used to. As I got older I was allowed to go to the shop (mum worked as a hospital manager) and get snacks, books etc. on my own, and if I was really lucky my mum would get me chips from the canteen

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

So surprised that some are able to WFH with their children under 8. Even for after school hrs! How do you all do it?

Well, as with anything, it all depends on circumstances.

I suspect for many it's a combination of flexible jobs and well-behaved children who are generally happy to entertain themselves without much need for parental intervention or supervision.

My parents never WFH but I often had to go into work with them during school holidays or at the weekends. I spent most of my time in my mum's office - I'd colour, read magazines/books, play on her computer or draw mostly. I would spend anything from 30 minutes to all day there from the age of 6-7.

Did I get bored? Sure, but I didn't implode either. I just got on with it because it was what I was used to. As I got older I was allowed to go to the shop (mum worked as a hospital manager) and get snacks, books etc. on my own, and if I was really lucky my mum would get me chips from the canteen

Ah so there's light at the end of the tunnel!

Perhaps a couple more years to go and they might be able to entertain themselves in terms for a couple of hours after school...

Thanks for all the responses. Quite a mix of answers, which is interesting.

My kids are 6 and almost 8. They've got used to entertaining themselves over the last 2 years and home and know that I'm not available when I'm working. I can do my hours and even overtime with no issues. Mostly independent work with some meetings here and there. Work can be done any time generally.

I've recently started a new job, similar to my old job. Made it very clear about the kids and they were fine with it. Now a new hr policy is supposedly being put in place but they haven't said anything about what the cut off is.

My kids go to the odd day camp in the school holidays but purely for their benefit rather than for childcare. They don't want to go any more often than they already do and I can't see a reason for them to go when they're no bother at home. My old job was more than happy for them to be at home with me as they could see the work was being done to a high standard regardless.

I think more companies will have strict policies on this. Loads of people take the piss.

Definitely depends on job, child and working hours. Mine are 7 and 9 and home with just me for an hour after school 3 days a week. I can manage the odd full day if they're ill from school etc. But otherwise, DH and I take the time off in holidays etc. My work are flexible and I can work into the evenings if needs be if the kids are home sick etc.

I have a colleague who has their 1YO home all day with them and I have no idea how they get any work done TBH.