What age is it ok to have kids at home when WFH

[Burnt0utMum]

What age would you say it's ok to have kids at home whilst you're working from home? Or does it vary based on the child? Should it be ok as long as it's not affecting your work or should there be some sort of ban?

I’d be really surprised if your employer agreed with that statement.

You'd be surprised - plenty of employers/line managers are parents themselves. Earlier this year I was on a work call where all five of us had small children there, and the most senior person was breastfeeding.

My 8 year old can easily do a couple of hours after school. Half a day is ok but a whole day becomes a bit hard work and I’d only do it in emergencies.

@HaveringWavering my employer knows and supports having my daughter at home, she comes to meetings. So much so they’ve just promoted me to deputy manager after a year of working there. It totally depends on the job.

@Burnt0utMum

What age would you say it's ok to have kids at home whilst you're working from home? Or does it vary based on the child? Should it be ok as long as it's not affecting your work or should there be some sort of ban?

You mention a ban of DC in the house while you're working, without any reference to childcare at all. That would cover having DC there while someone else is looking after them, did you mean that? Because I'd laugh in the face of an employer who presumed to tell me which other inhabitants of my home could be there at a particular time. And a ban?!

If you're got full or partial charge of the children, depends hugely on the nature of the work, the DC concerned and timetables. I can't imagine working around a 3 year old myself, though I did used to do the odd email on days off when mine were that stage. There will also, with the best will in the world, be unscheduled emergency childcare situations at the moment given that about 1 in 13 of the population currently have covid, but that's different from a regular arrangement.

My dd's age 5 & 7 are collected at 3pm after school and are home with either myself or my DH then until 5pm. They are fine and only ask for drinks or for a snack and its for 2 hours and they are in the room beside us with glass doors so we can see them and hear them while still able to work. My dd age 2y 3m goes to full time creche. I cannot work with her at home. Due to covid I've had her home a lot when creche closed/close contact/symptoms and it is too stressful.

Dd 5&7 will go to camp til 2.30pm during the summer as it is not fair on them or us to have them home all day bored and on screens.

Some of my friends would not be able to have their children of similar ages at home as they are a little more energetic. Mine 5&7yo have been OK all the way through the pandemic when necessary but definitely not the 2yo.

I’d say 10.

I manage a team and work with many others who are part based from home and despite the fact that their work allows for time to work rather than just back to back meetings I’d say we get interrupted frequently by under 10s.

I know parents like not having to pay for childcare but the tolerance that was afforded in lock down is wearing a bit thin now and I’m not convinced many are as productive as they should be.

@Figgygal

My 5 yo and 10 yo come home after school while i wfh once a week they watch a film with snacks 3.30-5 works fine but dont want to do it more than that The go to holiday clubs in holidays or grandparents when we not on leave otherwise i feel im neglecting them as they go square eyed in front of tv and i can't fully focus on work

Same here. 5 year old is fine for the 3.30-5pm period but we use a mix of annual leave, grandparents and holiday club for full days such as school holidays and will do until he's a fair bit older.

A lady I work with's Yr 10 or 11 daughter is babysitting a family of 3 primary kids (7-11) next door while the parents WFH these holidays. She's wanting to get into childcare possibly primary teaching anyway, so has taken the task really seriously and has been really organised sorting out activities etc. and has borrowed various items eg identification books for bugs, birds etc - helps we live in the countryside I know, plus we were given a list of things she needed such as milk bottle tops for wheels, newspapers for paper mâché, empty drinks bottles, old flower pots, compost and seeds etc They've been having a whale of a time as they like the daughter lots anyway, and the daughter is absolutely loving it. But I'm sure it's noisy with 3 and bound to be lots of interruptions for the parents, not sure how productive it can be.
I couldn't have worked at home with a 3 year old/pre-schooler though. Too demanding.

@SarahAndQuack

I’d be really surprised if your employer agreed with that statement.

You'd be surprised - plenty of employers/line managers are parents themselves. Earlier this year I was on a work call where all five of us had small children there, and the most senior person was breastfeeding.

Having a child around during a meeting is not necessarily the same as an arrangement where a 3 year-old is in the sole care of an employee for all her working hours. Care of a preschooler is a full-time job. To say otherwise is insulting to SAHMS and childcare workers. What employer will be happy with their employee doing another full time job alongside the one that they employ them to do?

Also, do you not think it is pretty damaging to women’s rights (and child welfare) that a societal expectation might develop that they can work and do childcare simultaneously, just because so many people can WFH now?

Mine are 9, 10 & 13 and I have no issues. They leave me alone, can feed & entertain themselves no bother.

My 8 year old is fine and I can work a full day. He’s self sufficient however it typically relies on more screen time than I would usually allow. He pops in to say hi, but draws, reads, plays games. Makes his own sandwich for lunch. My work isn’t impacted at all but I worry more for the lack of interaction for him.

I wasn’t replying to your post @elbea, I had already read what you said. And I did indeed find it surprising that your employer allowed it. So I’d be even more surprised if there were other people whose employers allowed it too.

Can you share more about what sort of job you do?

Age 9 y5 is definitely too young unless they are remarkably mature and self-sufficient fir their age.

Age 10 y6 is borderline and depends on the child and the setup at home (eg is there a safe play park nearby etc)

Age 11 y7 and for the next 2 years probably ok for occasional days but wouldn't make them be self sufficient for a whole week at a stretch so would intersperse days where I WFH and they are self-sufficient with days of other kinds of more structured activities and I would take a day off once a week at least during school holidays.

Fine to be more fully self-sufficient as an older teen.

My ds is 9, I have him home when I WFH in school holidays. Apparently this is a breach of my company policy, but my manager says it's fine as he's 9.
He can entertain himself and my job role is one where I can type and talk to him at the same time, and I tell him if I'm going into a teams meeting, he knows not to disturb me during meetings or if I'm on the phone.

Think it very much depends on your child as opposed to how old they are, and also on what your job entails.

If I WFH doing call centre work I wouldn't be able to have him home for example.

We have managed it with our kids at 11 and 7, though there is always a possibility that an argument will break out and I will get disturbed.

By WFH though, it is very much a juggle with interacting with the kids. I would explain to them that I was going in to a meeting call and not to be disturbed unless fire/blood. At the end of the hour meeting I'd go check they were ok/happy and inevitably spend some time with them before going back in to more work or meetings. Lunch obviously needed providing.

So WFH with a child there isn't the same as WFH without one. Back to back meetings are hard. Taking time to do the follow up activity straight after a meeting was hard. Being able to guarantee being on time/I disturbed at any particular time was impossible.

@MajorCarolDanvers

When they are old enough to entertain themselves / go out to play.

Primary school age

To add I've done this with mine since I started wfh march 2020 at which time they were aged 7 and 11.

Work totally fine with it and happy to support working parents.

You can't police it. I have my daughter here all the time as she is home educated. She is 6 and so when I say 'I am in a meeting, please go and play in your room for an hour' she does.

When she was a baby I did typing work and she was here, but she has always been happy since birth as long as I am in the room she was fine. She'd open her eyes in the night to check I was there and go right back to sleep.

I worked at home since my daughter was very young and I make it work as I plan my day around it.

I know I couldn't now with a 3 and 4 year old.

One-off, 6+ probably OK if they can fetch themselves a drink or snack.

For regular basis, I might say 9+ but obviously they'd mostly be in school anyway, so shouldn't be too much of an issue.

As PP says, one they are self sufficient and will not disturb you unless absolutely necessary BUT then you have to Co suffer how long you are essentially neglecting them for in that way if you are the only adult in the house.

It's not really fair to expect an employer to pay you while you're looking after you're children but I've considered keeping my 1 year old home with me 1 day a week

Working on auditing procedures for confidentiality issues around data and wfh. The business on question are going yo be asking for sight of childcare hours/ school hours for under 16s in the property. There will then have yo be a risk assessment for under 16s potentially being able to overhear etc.

Itsxz huge thing that's going to need a lot of case by case. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with my employer having specifics about what room I work in, likelihood of interruption etc etc

@EnglishGirlApproximately

DS is ten and is fine being in the house after school when I'm working but I Still don't attempt a full day, he'd end up on a screen all day and get bored and restless.

Isn’t this the point? It’s not just about whether you will be disturbed but what it actually means for the child? The odd day is fine but say it’s every day through the school holidays, I’d go mad if I had to spend all day every day by myself. Kids need to be spending time playing with kids their own age, and engaging in stuff, not being left to entertain themselves all day every day.

@Username917778

Depends on the job and child surely. I can work with my 3 year old at home with me.

I honestly don't see how you can expect a 3 yo to entertain themselves for 4x 2hrs stints in a day. 8hrs in total, allowing for a morning, lunch and afternoon break.

At 3 they need help on the loo, help for drinks, snacks, turn the telly station over.

Something as to be suffering trying to do both either you child or your work.

I do think employers patience will wear thin with the idea of WFH while children are around particularly on the younger end of the scale and on the type of work.

Have you ever sat in a meeting (bored) and tried to add up the cost of the meeting ie How much everyone costs per hour round the table?

Mine would be ok for a day. She's just turned 9. When I say that I mean she could find stuff to occupy her without much input from me. She can sort her own food out, sandwich etc. She would be spending quite a bit of time in front of a screen though so I wouldn't do it for more than a day or two.