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AIBU?

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Original poster

I DONT WANT TOOOOO!!!!!

82 replies

CornishPastyPirate · 14/04/2022 15:56

I feel like an ungrateful dick
We are in a rented house that’s falling apart and too small but I love it,been hear 14yrs and the location is perfect
We are moving in two weeks too our very own home but it’s a 10-15 min drive away ( I don’t drive we walk everywhere we need to but husband drives)
The new house is ours
It’s bigger
It’s lovely
BUT I just don’t want to go!!! I can’t even bare to pack up! It’s breaking my heart but there are 6 of us in a two bed,we can’t even sit down together it’s so small,our dining room is a bedroom now!!
Husband is sad that I’m sad because he’s so excited
I just can’t…….

OP posts:
Pinklimey · 14/04/2022 16:09

Do it. Its a big change that will take time to get used to. However, you don't have to be excited, there is no rule that says you have to be excited about anything.

MargaretThursday · 14/04/2022 16:12

We moved 12 years ago like you.

The first week I was devastated. We'd left "home" and memories behind, and gibe to this void.
I was already planning the next move.

Well, we've not moved and it is home to me.
It took about 3 months for me not to regret it, and another 3 to have it as home, but now it is.
Give it time. It will grow on you.

switswooo · 14/04/2022 16:18
Confused
Aquamarine1029 · 14/04/2022 16:20

Come on, be sensible. Pack your stuff and get the hell out of there.

RenegadeMrs · 14/04/2022 16:23

You will create new memories in the new place and it will start to feel like home in time. Especially once your family and things are in it. Moving is stressful though, so I don't think you need to be excited, but you do need to get on with it!

Come on... you know you need to do this. Big deep breath, and get packing!

Johnnypiratesfriend · 14/04/2022 16:24

Everytime I move I feel like this. I look round each room and have a sigh. The new place will feel like home very soon. X

Nnique · 14/04/2022 16:26

You’re not being unreasonable to feel this way. It’s just scary when things have to change. Once you’re in your new home and you’ve got used to it and made it your safe space it’ll be much better for you.

FlissyPaps · 14/04/2022 16:27

Are you going to miss the actual house itself? Or are you going to miss the convenience and location of the house?

I’m assuming you have DC? If so, you need to do what’s in the best interest for them, which is moving to a larger space for them.

I understand it’s sad when you have to leave somewhere that’s been home for so many years. But you just have to bite the bullet.

Original poster
CornishPastyPirate · 14/04/2022 16:29

I know I need a big kick up the arse and I did agree to do this but suddenly I just can’t see how it will ever be ok! It’s still in the same bloody county with the same district council and everything but feels like a squillion miles away

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 14/04/2022 16:30

Of course it’s natural to be sad about leaving somewhere you’ve been happy. There’s nothing wrong with that. But this is a good long-term choice for you, even if it will feel difficult short-term. Remember you’re doing a good thing for your family’s future Smile

hoorayandupsherises · 14/04/2022 16:33

We got given notice to leave our rental, which I loved, and had to move. We struggled so much to find anywhere, stressed so much, I was so upset, I loved the house and the location, I tried to stay in the old house until the very last day, even though we managed to buy our new house ...

I absolutely blooming love our new house and literally never think about our old house. From the first day we were in here.

Winter2020 · 14/04/2022 16:36

You are doing the right thing. You will no longer have to worry that your landlord might want to sell when there is nothing available at the time. How great that you made your house such a wonderful home and you will do the same with the next house too.

DurhamDurham · 14/04/2022 16:39

Come on, be sensible. Pack your stuff and get the hell out of there

I'd second this Smile

Peppapigforlife · 14/04/2022 16:42

Could you go into the new house now and start decorating one room that you can get excited about moving into? Or can you spend some time in the empty house on your own to try and connect with it?

SoftSheen · 14/04/2022 16:43

You'll feel much better once you've moved in and got most of your own stuff unpacked. Sounds as if this is a much-needed move that will benefit you all :)

Pinklimey · 14/04/2022 16:44

Its nice that you had a place to feel settled. I had a time in my life where I never put down roots, because I knew I would be moving again. Hopefully you will be able to feel secure in your new home.

AryaStarkWolf · 14/04/2022 16:44

You'll be grand, you just need to rip the band aid off

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/04/2022 16:46

It’s the fear of change that’s all- will pass.

toomuchlaundry · 14/04/2022 16:46

How big is your new house? Will you be able to learn to drive if needed?

DeedlessIndeed · 14/04/2022 16:46

I've had this with Every. Single. Move. (I also get this way with jobs)

Really, it comes down to anxiety of the new/fear of the unknown and the natural sadness when you move from one chapter in life to the next.

It will feel grim, you may hate it, but then you will adjust, settle in and move on (and probably puzzle over why you were so upset in the first place).

Best of luck OP!

Frazzled2207 · 14/04/2022 16:48

We moved 2 weeks ago. I like you had the wobbles. Two weeks on and the new house is a mass of boxes and totally doing my head in but we now have the space we need and I haven't regretted it for a second. To my considerable surprise don't miss the old house at all.

SheWoreYellow · 14/04/2022 16:48

Can you get a bus/cycle to the places you need to get to?

Princetopple · 14/04/2022 16:50

I felt exactly the same when I moved from my awful, unloved, tiny two bed rented house to a much bigger three bedroomed place which we owned. The new house was better in every single way - every single room was bigger, garden bigger and sunnier, so much storage, but it just felt like I was in a stranger's home. I actually cried and wailed 'what have we doneeeee' on the first night. It's baffling to me now. I never think about the old house other than to shudder and be so glad I don't live there anymore. You'll feel ok eventually, just give it time.

Tabitha005 · 14/04/2022 16:50

Aww, I hear you. I didn't especially want to leave my last (rented) home and we bought simply because our pensions won't sustain us in our dotage and we needed an asset to cash in at a later date. I moved from a lovely, if tatty, character house to a nondescript bungalow.

The comfort of knowing I'm doing myself a favour in the long run (when I'm not starving as a pensioner) has sort of helped, but the main thing that's really grounded me in the new place has been the garden. I was never much of a gardener in rented - and spending lots of money on plants or landscaping felt like a waste, but now I have a garden that's all mine, I've really discovered a passion for it.

Don't beat yourself up if you don't instantly fall in love with the new place, though. It takes time, for some of us.

As for packing, perhaps look at it as a way of discovering stuff you'd forgotten you had, as well as having a good old sort out and not carrying stuff you no longer have any use for into your next home.

Redwinestillfine · 14/04/2022 16:51

Take a leaf out of Marie Kondo. Thank thehouse then pack it up and enjoy your new chapter.

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