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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I DONT WANT TOOOOO!!!!!

82 replies

CornishPastyPirate · 14/04/2022 15:56

I feel like an ungrateful dick
We are in a rented house that’s falling apart and too small but I love it,been hear 14yrs and the location is perfect
We are moving in two weeks too our very own home but it’s a 10-15 min drive away ( I don’t drive we walk everywhere we need to but husband drives)
The new house is ours
It’s bigger
It’s lovely
BUT I just don’t want to go!!! I can’t even bare to pack up! It’s breaking my heart but there are 6 of us in a two bed,we can’t even sit down together it’s so small,our dining room is a bedroom now!!
Husband is sad that I’m sad because he’s so excited
I just can’t…….

OP posts:

georgarina · 14/04/2022 17:47

I felt like this before moving into my current place.
I look back now and wouldn't switch back for anything.

Bootothegoose · 14/04/2022 17:48

Bless you! I understand completely - this has been your home and you have so many wonderful memories.

However, you know it’s the right move. Take pictures of the rooms before you start packing up, then box everything up and start making new memories. It’s very normal to get attached to your home even if you’re moving onto bigger and better. On mumsnet that’s not very often recognised however.

strawberriesarenot · 14/04/2022 17:49

Exactly the same thing happened to us. We were booted out of our lovely rental and it was turned into a holiday cottage. It was a Lake District village, school went, shops went, and it's 90% holiday rental now.

At the time, I couldn't pack for the heartache. I was so sad. But you're allowed to be sad. Realistically, I wouldn't live there now, it wouldn't work. The new place is home. It will feel the same to you. Good luck.

(Sometimes I drive out of my way to pass the gate and give it a wave. That's allowed too.)

TheChosenTwo · 14/04/2022 17:53

Ahhh I have similar feelings about our old flat!
Way too small for the 4 of us, only one bedroom - dh and I slept on a sofa bed in the front room for years while we saved up for a deposit.
But I absolutely loved that little flat, I felt so safe and cosy there. We rented it out and inbetween tenants over the years I’ve gone in just to have a look around and to check it hasn’t suddenly spawned the 4 extra bedrooms we need
It’ll be worth the move to have more space but it’s quite normal to miss it too. Good luck

Maternitynamechange · 14/04/2022 17:54

I totally get this. When you don’t drive, 15 minutes away feels like a lot. Are you moving out of area? Can you still walk to school? I opted for the house over the road rather than the house a 15 minute drive away even though that was a nicer house because I just wanted to stay in our village.

beattieedny · 14/04/2022 18:00

Moving is very stressful, even when it's a good thing.

user1471538283 · 14/04/2022 18:00

It will be fabulous! I promise you that houses are just Bricks and mortar. You are taking your home with you!

Go and pack!

Original poster

CornishPastyPirate · 14/04/2022 18:03

Thank you so much everyone for being so understanding
I panic a lot!!! I’ve been really positive in front of the kids,helping them think of room ideas and paint colours ect Something they have never done before. My middle boy has already started to sleep on the front room floor as sharing with his sister was getting too much so I know we have to do this for everyone’s sake
We are in catchment for the secondary school they want to go too ( but only just which panics me….what if that suddenly changes?)
Round hear it’s all student housing now very few families so that will be something different too.

OP posts:

Feather12 · 14/04/2022 18:12

I am going against the grain here and I totally understand your panic. I cannot imagine having to wait around for hours after work/school to get home. What will you do? I wouldn’t want to move either if this was my option.

MarmiteToTheEdges · 14/04/2022 18:14

It's OK to feel sad, especially if you brought your babies back there as newborns.

CannibalQueen · 14/04/2022 18:14

Go with grace and leave the smaller house for another young couple who will make it their home and be glad of the chance.

gingerhills · 14/04/2022 18:17

Home is where the people you love are, where the memories are made of Christmases and Easters and birthdays and silly games nights and heart to hearts and first moments for DC. You are moving so the people you love have more room to spread out and enjoy home life. You will love it.

RiaOverTheRainbow · 14/04/2022 18:17

Would it be possible to bus/cycle home from school?

Is there one thing you'll be able to do in the new house you can get excited about?

Original poster

CornishPastyPirate · 14/04/2022 18:18

My mum and sister live close by so I could go to there’s but I’m really not sure they would be happy with that every day for the next 2.5 yrs until the kids finish primary
My mum already has the baby for me while I’m at work. There is a bus but it’s incredibly expensive for all of us!

OP posts:

Maray1967 · 14/04/2022 18:19

And remember that your house won’t look the same once your furniture and things are all packed up. You’ll be able to put your things in a bigger space and enjoy them more. Try not to see the new house how it is now - strange and unfamiliar - but what it will be like once all your things are in there.

D0lphine · 14/04/2022 18:21

Sounds like you haven't worked out the transport issue yet. Is that what's bothering you more than the move?

Blue4YOU · 14/04/2022 18:22

Maybe try something like having a packing party with the DC. Put on music. Use the opportunity to collect up old clothes etc for charity. Have a glass or two of wine (well, I would) and make it fun. If you pack a lot away now by the time it comes around to the move you’ll be glad to unpack!

FlissyPaps · 14/04/2022 18:38

The kids are staying at their school which I also work at so we will get a lift every morning but will have to wait for a lift back home for a few hours

A few hours?! What’s the public transport like in the area OP? Are you able to catch a bus home with the kids?

AlisonDonut · 14/04/2022 18:43

I feel your pain, i moved to France last year and everything in the new house is the opposite way round...from the banister on the wrong side of the stairs, the toilet and sink arrangement...the whole house. But you get used to it.

ListeningButNotHearing · 14/04/2022 18:44

Learn to drive.

707smile · 14/04/2022 18:47

YANBU to feel a sense of grief as you're losing somewhere that you've lived for a long time! YWBVU to not move obviously but that's not on the cards.

That's so lovely that you're moving to your own, big, comfortable house- sounds amazing.

Cocycola · 14/04/2022 18:50

I'll swap places if you want. There are 5 of us in a 2 bedroom rented flat and I'd give my left arm for this opportunity.

However, in all seriousness, I do get where you are coming from. The fear of change and leaving a house full of lovely memories behind is massive, and very daunting. Look to the future, not the past.

Memories in your current place will always be there no matter where you are, and I bet once you move, you'll settle in quickly and it'll feel so natural like you've been there forever

madroid · 14/04/2022 18:53

Say goodbye to your old house properly. Go into each room, thank it for sheltering you, remember a good time in each one, say goodbye.

You need to let yourself move on (pun intended!)

Would electric bikes be an option for school run return?

Calennig · 14/04/2022 20:02

@D0lphine

Sounds like you haven't worked out the transport issue yet. Is that what's bothering you more than the move?

I wondered if it was this as well.

I get it - we don't drive so figuring out how to get around, where everything is wereto wait around - timing ect is another thing to worry about but it will get sorted and become normal.

Heronwatcher · 14/04/2022 20:19

Come on, grow up and get it done! Change is scary but so is things staying the same, in your case the flat is completely unsuitable. Your kids will take their cue from you so you need to fake positivity and excitement and eventually it will be true!

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