Family ask what size for the kids then ignore it everytime grrrr

[notsureaboutTAAT]

Then seem to get annoyed when said item is unworn or I get children to try it on and it doesn't fit. My children are giants. The toddler is chunky too, the older one has slimmed out as he's grown. Why ask me what size and then ignore me ? This is various different family members from both sides. I am happy for people to buy clothes for the DC not fussy on styles.

Late MIL was a beggar for this. She didn't see DS for 6 weeks after he was born (he was early, but they'd booked to go to their overseas holiday home for 8 weeks over his due date), and came back with newborn size clothes even though she was told that he a) didn't need any baby clothes at that point as others had bought them b) was 11lb by the time they saw him so well out of newborn. Later she'd buy cute toddler shoes when away to bring back, even though dh told her how difficult his feet were to fit as, just the same as dh, he had very wide and high feet and we'd try soo many shoes in specialist shops to get anything.
But not a surprise really as she never bought dh anything that fitted anyway, even when given specifics

Back in the day MIL used to get great pleasure from buying clothes in the wrong sizes that the kids would hate from Woolworths. Luckily Woolies would let you exchange. I used to know the manager by name! DH said to just let her shop, that was the bit she enjoyed.

I had a family member who did similar. Not with clothes but would ask what the kids wanted. To which i would always stress please don't worry as I knew they were busy and didn't have alot of money and didn't want them worrying about buying a present. Just send a card or give them a phone call. I've always taught my kids that not everyone will always be able to afford presents and that's not whats important.

But they'd always insist and say they wanted to get them X off the list of what we were considering. So we'd double check it was OK. Check they dodnt want to just chip in a fiver and we'd say ot was from all of us ( if it was something on the big/pricey side) to which we'd be assured it was all in hand.

Only to be given something completely different , or clearly something being thrown out by someone else or tat from some selling page.

Like why. Whats the point. Just say, we'd not care the kids would have just been happy to see you.

@Survivingmy3yearold, are you able to make it equally clear back that they just don't fit though and you therefore have no use or need for them? 'Forgetting' does look like it could be an easier fix short term though.
This thread makes me twitchy as I was the very tall kid who hated clothes presents as they were always way too small, despite my parents telling people my sister and I really did need trousers for several years older than our ages. It was just the gift of disappointment!

My sons grandparents always buy him clothes that are his age. Thats age 11-12 at the moment. He has always been small & we tell them every time. He is in age 7-8 clothing!! They've just given us two t shirts for easter or him that go down to his knees!

@PinkArt unfortunately she's a tad batty and it's her way of contributing. She would potentially even be slightly offended that we weren't interested. To be honest, even if I "forgot" them, she'd probably just keep hold of them until we see her again in several months time and bring them down with a load more. The annoying thing is, some of it might have been useable if she'd popped it in the post when she got it, but she's had this stuff since way before Christmas, but by the time she passes stuff on DD has grown into the next size. DP has said most of it won't fit but she's said to take it back with us and pass it on to others or donate it somewhere near to us

Drop it in a charity bin on the way back

Are they doing it to make a point? I often see people on MN saying that children’s clothes now have vanity sizing and how many aged 7 (say) children wearing age 7 clothes are overweight. I mean, it’s not good if they are but I can’t otherwise imagine why an adult would be told to buy age 12 then carry on buying age 9.

Just say "dont buy them clothes, they are very fussy" Job done.

We have this but we always get stuff that's too big as mine are all small for their age. Then it's either forgotten about as it's stashed away or only fits when it's the wrong season or has a character on it that the child no longer likes

It’s taken a while but we’ve finally got family to stop trying to buy clothes, unless I have specifically selected them. Eldest is tall (not overweight, no vanity sizing, just tall) so always needed at least one year above her age, if not two. Both kids are autistic and have massive sensory issues around clothes. Family would buy things and I would just know they’d never get worn even if they did fit. I end up returning half of what I buy because it turns out there’s a seam that feels weird.

It was hard for the grandmothers on both sides as they both love clothes, one is very stylish and one just likes cute slogans and stuff. But they got there. I would find it so annoying if they’d just ignored us like some families here have.

My ex does this. When dc were smaller they were both pretty small for their age yet he'd but the correct age so it was drowning them/falling down/looked awful and scruffy. About a year ago they both stretched massively - dd12 is now 5'4'' and now they (his partner does most of the buying) only then decided to start buying smaller. Bought dd a 9-10 outfit the other week. She's now wearing small adult clothes. Bizarre!