Page 2 | Family ask what size for the kids then ignore it everytime grrrr

notsureaboutTAAT · 2022-04-14T14:09:54+00:00

Then seem to get annoyed when said item is unworn or I get children to try it on and it doesn't fit. My children are giants. The toddler is chunky too, the older one has slimmed out as he's grown. Why ask me what size and then ignore me ? This is various different family members from both sides. I am happy for people to buy clothes for the DC not fussy on styles.

Theunamedcat · 14/04/2022 17:16

Same here also my children have sensory processing disorder and DONT WEAR JUMPERS they just don't so I get a phonecall from granny saying I've bought ds x size jumper for his birthday like his dad said he wanted and you better allow him to wear it this time......I said look they will not wear jumpers so they will NEVER ask for a jumper im not stopping them wearing the clothing they refuse to wear it I DONT CARE what my ex says its not me buy him a zip up hoody in y size or its going to the charity shop and I hung up Christmas came and she did it she actually bought the hoody in the right size

Once in nearly FOURTEEN YEARS

Survivingmy3yearold · 14/04/2022 17:51

MIL does this DD2 is almost 18 months, 91st centile for weight and 98th for height. She raids charity shops and friends who have grandkids for their hand me downs, yesterday she gave me 2 sacks of clothes, most was 12-18 months and quite a bit was 6-9 or 9-12 months. We're here for the week so she told me I didn't need to bring any clothes for her as she had more that enough things to fit her, there were 2 items of clothing in the whole lot that will fit. Even in a standard sized child, at 17.5 months I don't know why you'd even consider anything smaller than 18-24 months. So I had to pack her clothes anyway and now have 2 sacks of no good clothing to take home and drop at the charity shop

phoenixrosehere · 14/04/2022 18:13

YANBU

I find it baffling when DH’s side buys our sons clothes considering they only see them a handful of times a year, (once last year) and always buy their age which has never worked since they are long-limbed children with little to no waist so everything they put on just sags or they end up with diaper butt due to needing the tie waistbands.

JaninaDuszejko · 14/04/2022 18:20

My Mum always buys clothes to big. My brother's kids are all giants (nephew is 6'2" at 15 and still growing) so despite DH and me both being small she always sizes up. My DDs are now 12 & 13 and she wants to buy age 15 to 16 which is a size 10 and would fit me. She'd be better buying an adult size 6.

NothingIsCertain · 14/04/2022 18:58

My ILs always buy big and then wonder why something doesn't get worn, it always seems to be coats at Christmas that are the next size up, and by the time the kids fit them it is summer and grown out again by winter.... we have mentioned it.....deaf ears unfortunately

Theunamedcat · 14/04/2022 21:09

I said one year give them vouchers let them choose she said where? I said I get most there stuff from tescos asda sainsbury's do some nice stuff she gave me matalan vouchers great! Except they were both at the "matalan gap" that year so there was nothing in their size her reasons for not getting vouchers from a place we actually shopped at were "I might use them for food" or something instead of clothing.....surely if I was that desperate for food that I would use my own child's Christmas gift to eat she wouldn't begrudge me doing that? Oh yes she would I can't remember what I got them in the end from matalan but she wholeheartedly disapproved of my choice (which the kids loved) and refused to do it again

His family is odd

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 14/04/2022 21:24

@Survivingmy3yearold

MIL does this

DD2 is almost 18 months, 91st centile for weight and 98th for height. She raids charity shops and friends who have grandkids for their hand me downs, yesterday she gave me 2 sacks of clothes, most was 12-18 months and quite a bit was 6-9 or 9-12 months. We're here for the week so she told me I didn't need to bring any clothes for her as she had more that enough things to fit her, there were 2 items of clothing in the whole lot that will fit. Even in a standard sized child, at 17.5 months I don't know why you'd even consider anything smaller than 18-24 months. So I had to pack her clothes anyway and now have 2 sacks of no good clothing to take home and drop at the charity shop

Leave the bags in whatever room you're staying in. Wait till she sees you off at the door or at the car and say - all bright and smiley - 'Oh, MIL, thank you for all the clothes from your friends! We've taken out the bits that fit so all the ones that are too small are in the bedroom. I'm sure your friends will want to pass them on to someone else that they know! Byeee!'

Firkinhavinalaugh · 14/04/2022 21:33

So my IL did this for all birthdays and Xmas at one point, items were never “replaced” so in effect they bought and gave a present and then returned it for a refund not a replacement size.

We had this from 0-5, especially birthdays. Christmas my ex would get the same as their cousins. The cousins got to choose though…,,

We’ve moved on now and it doesn’t happen anymore. But was annoying and frustrating :)

Caterina99 · 14/04/2022 22:17

My DM does this and it drives me mad. My kids are tall. She knows this. She buys them clothes that “match” their age, despite me telling her hundreds of times that they’re a size above cos they’re so tall. I mean I’m grateful for clothes for them and she picks lovely things, it’s just so annoying when they’re basically unusable!

At least MIL rings me up to check and then does actually buy the right size.

tealandteal · 15/04/2022 00:02

My DH’s Nan bought a T-shirt for my then 2 year old, 2 years ago and said “he’ll grow in to it”. I’m a size 12 and I tried it on, fit me fine!! Guess it will take a while for him to grown in to it.

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2022 00:15

@Survivingmy3yearold

MIL does this

DD2 is almost 18 months, 91st centile for weight and 98th for height. She raids charity shops and friends who have grandkids for their hand me downs, yesterday she gave me 2 sacks of clothes, most was 12-18 months and quite a bit was 6-9 or 9-12 months. We're here for the week so she told me I didn't need to bring any clothes for her as she had more that enough things to fit her, there were 2 items of clothing in the whole lot that will fit. Even in a standard sized child, at 17.5 months I don't know why you'd even consider anything smaller than 18-24 months. So I had to pack her clothes anyway and now have 2 sacks of no good clothing to take home and drop at the charity shop

now have 2 sacks of no good clothing to take home and drop at the charity shop

No! Stop!

Leave them with MIL. They’re too small - make it her problem not yours,

PinkArt · 15/04/2022 00:50

So I had to pack her clothes anyway and now have 2 sacks of no good clothing to take home and drop at the charity shop
Nope @Survivingmy3yearold! Your MIL has two bags to keep at her house and to drop at the charity shop. Why on earth would you take them with you? She's seen they don't fit, you want to break this pattern, it seems a no brainer to leave them behind.

PlasticineMeg · 15/04/2022 01:07

Can I also add my own rant in…

Family (in laws mostly): What chocolate do the kids like for when I buy them an Easter egg?
Me: Honestly please don’t, they get one from school each and one from my 90yo granny but we don’t like them to have more because it’s far too much chocolate, just donate the money or buy a book.
Family:

Poopootatty · 15/04/2022 01:08

I thought it was just my MIL who did this!

Our DD is very slim but taller than average. We all know this and MIL spends plenty of time with her but even after discussing her clothes size, she’ll come back with a size too small because the next size up “looked too big”. At Christmas I couldn’t even do up the dress she gave. It went straight to a younger cousin! On her birthday last month I handed the latest outfit back and said politely that it was lovely but it would be too small and could she swap it. MIL is lovely but she has a total blind spot when it comes to DD’s size!

Poopootatty · 15/04/2022 01:14

@PlasticineMeg ha I hear you!

Also DH doesn’t want our DD to have loads of chocolate. She’s got a v sweet tooth and would just eat all she has in one sitting. I agree with him and not keen either. Yet he will not upset his parents and tell them not to get chocolate. He’d rather that our four year old is given it but try and restrict what she is allowed to eat. It really pisses me off. She’s 4, they are adults, surely they can handle getting a colouring book or something instead of chocolate?!

Chely · 15/04/2022 01:15

People do this with our kids too.
A size bigger is fine, they grow in to them. It's when they buy 1-2 sizes too small that I find annoying, gift receipts great but I hate the faff of returning stuff.

Wtfdoipick · 15/04/2022 01:23

I have a 10 year old who is just over 5ft tall. Age 10 clothes do not fit her, everyone knows she is incredibly tall and yet I still get age 10 clothes as gifts for her.

Ericaequites · 15/04/2022 01:27

My grandmother made me lots of clothes until I was a teenager, but also used a tape measure wisely.
I was tiny, so it was hard to find me clothes as a child. My Brownie and school uniform had to be special ordered. I didn’t receive many clothes as gifts.

MyCatIsAJerk · 15/04/2022 01:54

My sister does this to ME!!!

I am very small 7.5 stone and she gifts me large/xlarge tops, etc.
I’m sure she does it as an insult but it’s just comical. And dumb.

Theunamedcat · 15/04/2022 07:24

@PlasticineMeg

Can I also add my own rant in…

Family (in laws mostly): What chocolate do the kids like for when I buy them an Easter egg?
Me: Honestly please don’t, they get one from school each and one from my 90yo granny but we don’t like them to have more because it’s far too much chocolate, just donate the money or buy a book.
Family:

Also advent calenders one year the kids had five each plus the ones I had already bought the conversation went have you got the advent calendars yet they are a pound in tescos? Yes I've got them already (buys them one each) ok thanks but they already have on? Well now they have two!....they were on offer so we bought a couple more ummm thanks but they won't get eaten?....we decided to buy some for our house as well.....(me) WTF?

DuchyCazalet · 15/04/2022 07:42

DM used to do this. It was a control thing. She'd buy something too big and give the gift with the receipt. Then expect me to trapse in to the shops to change the item. She'd badger me about it. I started handing her things back and saying she could change them, I wasn't spending my time off doing it. Think she also liked to be able to moan that she bought stuff for the kids but never saw them wearing it.
Weaponised gifting is part of her MO

Camomila · 15/04/2022 07:56

FIL does the opposite, everytime he comes back from the Philippines he brings back giant clothes. The DC and DH are pretty average size so DS2 gets clothes that fit DS1, DS1 (age 6), gets t-shirts that fit me, and DH gets L or XL shirts when he's a S/M.

(I keep getting rosaries, am not sure what I am meant to do with all the spare ones)

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/04/2022 08:02

My DM used to do this, even though I told her dds were ‘standard’ size, so to buy by their age on the label.

We were once visiting the U.K. in the depths of winter from a much warmer country, and DPs were meeting us so I asked her to buy them winter coats - ages 3 and 6.
She bought 6 and 9! (‘I thought they’d be skimpy’ 😂.) They absolutely swamped them. We had to stop on the way from the airport and change them.

lljkk · 15/04/2022 08:10

I had an opposite problem... items bought too big. Nobody asked about their sizes, anyway.

Small kids & the items bought would be out of season for size of my child, then not fit when baby/toddler was the right size.

Often older DC were fussy & simply didn't like those items.

Or the items would even go out of fashion, be too childish, by the time they fit !

Survivingmy3yearold · 15/04/2022 08:16

@PinkArt

So I had to pack her clothes anyway and now have 2 sacks of no good clothing to take home and drop at the charity shop Nope *@Survivingmy3yearold*! Your MIL has two bags to keep at her house and to drop at the charity shop. Why on earth would you take them with you? She's seen they don't fit, you want to break this pattern, it seems a no brainer to leave them behind.

@PinkArt it's been made very clear by her that they are now our clothes and if they don't fit then we need to pass them on. To be honest I may just "forget" to take them. She thinks I have hundreds of friends who are all desperate for baby clothes but anyone I know who has children already has older children/cousins who all pass on clothes so really wouldn't want them. As annoying as it is, I can see that she gets immense pleasure from doing it as there will be no other grandchildren. I just wish she checked on sizes before buying!