To want DH to stay at home

[Sadnesser]

I’m possibly too fragile to be posting on this forum but here goes.

I was 8 weeks pregnant and I’m miscarrying. I’ve been up most of the night with pain and I don’t think everything has passed yet.

DH is about to go into work. He says he can’t stay home. He says because he had a day off when I miscarried in December that he can’t stay off again. He works for the public sector.

I have 3 other children with me (not his). I’m very emotional and I’m struggling. We have no one nearby who could help but I don’t want to be alone. I find the whole miscarriage process quite frightening with the pain and the blood and the clots.

AIBU to want him here just for today? I feel like him going to work is going to cause irreparable damage to our relationship. I feel abandoned.

@Sadnesser

He came in to the bathroom to say bye and I was crying. He said what wrong?! In an exasperated voice so I just said I’m having a miscarriage…. His response was I know but there’s nothing we can do about it now and then he left.

I don’t think I can forgive him.

This is exactly how my partner would react in a situation like this, annoyance at nasty feelings taking up his time and total lack of empathy. Does he have previous form for this?

He doesn’t have previous form. It’s left me pretty shocked. Today has been a horrible day. I think the worst is over now though. I’ve asked him to not come home tonight. He’s gone to his sister’s who I imagine is giving him an earful after she asked me what had happened.

I don’t know how to come back from this. The leaving wasn’t really the worst but it was just the complete lack of care.

Thank you for all your kind messages today. I did read them even when I was t feeling well enough to respond x

@Sadnesser

He doesn’t have previous form. It’s left me pretty shocked. Today has been a horrible day. I think the worst is over now though. I’ve asked him to not come home tonight. He’s gone to his sister’s who I imagine is giving him an earful after she asked me what had happened.

I don’t know how to come back from this. The leaving wasn’t really the worst but it was just the complete lack of care.

Thank you for all your kind messages today. I did read them even when I was t feeling well enough to respond x

For tonight, don't think about it (hard I know), order in a take away and be kind to yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Jesus I can’t believe how cruel and callous your H (he does not deserve a D) has been. I could never forgive him for that. What a truly horrible day for you. I am so sorry.