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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this ‘just kids being kids’?

58 replies

Irritatedmum · 13/04/2022 21:40

DD is in year 3, all the children are 7 or 8.

They’ve all coupled up this year, lots of boyfriends and girlfriends going on. All very innocent and sweet.

But she’s started more recently to mention things, because it sounds like her little boyfriend is very popular. So girls - her friends - have been:
*trying to ‘split them up’
*telling the boy DD doesn’t like him anymore to try to get him to dump her
*one close friend told DD she likes him more so DD should ‘let her go out with him’
*told DD that ‘she doesn’t deserve him’ and that she should dump him so she can go out with him herself.

This isn’t the same girl saying it, it’s 2 or 3 different girls. The ‘doesn’t deserve him’ comment in particular has riled me - if this was a teenager I’d be bloody horrified.

Is this normal at this age?? How on earth do I deal with it? I want DD to be in a position where she has strong friendships, friends who support each other, and to me that all begins now, surely?

OP posts:
rainbowandglitter · 13/04/2022 21:51

That's very young for all this. I wouldn't be happy with this personally.

Reluctantadult · 13/04/2022 21:52

My Dd is in yr2 and unfortunately this sort of thing is starting up already. It's horrible.

rainbowandglitter · 13/04/2022 21:52

Also I have a ds and dn both in year 7 (12 yo) who say this doesn't happen yet. There are a couple of bf/gf couples but not many.

CandyLeBonBon · 13/04/2022 21:52

It's pretty common op. I remember this sort of behaviour when I was that age and I'm 52!

AHungryCaterpillar · 13/04/2022 21:53

Sounds odd and pretty young to me, my son is in year 3 and never mentions this kind of thing

Original poster
Irritatedmum · 13/04/2022 21:54

It’s definitely tainting her female friendships. She doesn’t trust her friends anymore. I had to ask on here because I’ve got no idea if it’s normal at this age 1) to be even having ‘boyfriends’ and 2) whether her friends reactions are ‘usual’.

OP posts:
Original poster
Irritatedmum · 13/04/2022 21:55

@CandyLeBonBon I do too, but older - more like age 10 - and I don’t remember any of my girl friends being funny about it. Maybe that’s a good thing, maybe my DD will forget it all too!

OP posts:
CottonSock · 13/04/2022 21:55

Not heard of this in my dd year 4 class and I would not be happy

KatieB55 · 13/04/2022 21:58

Perhaps have a quiet word with the teacher.

Paddingtonthebear · 13/04/2022 22:02

Not heard of this and my DD is 9 and in Y4. Could you have a word with the teacher?

BeautifulDragon · 13/04/2022 22:08

I tell my 7 & 9yo that they are too young for boyfriends/girlfriends. I don't support or encourage this behaviour in anyway.

As a teacher the children who speak like this are usually the ones exposed to adult conversations/ have teen siblings or encouraged by parents. It's not appropriate at all.

Original poster
Irritatedmum · 13/04/2022 22:12

To my DD having a boyfriend is just the most innocent thing really - sort of the boy she is most friendly with at that moment if you see what I mean. So it didn’t bother me until now. All this other talk is coming from other girls, or even maybe just one of the girls and they’re all learning it.

OP posts:
LexMitior · 13/04/2022 22:14

@BeautifulDragon

I tell my 7 & 9yo that they are too young for boyfriends/girlfriends. I don't support or encourage this behaviour in anyway.

As a teacher the children who speak like this are usually the ones exposed to adult conversations/ have teen siblings or encouraged by parents. It's not appropriate at all.

This. You can really tell what parents are like when their kids speak like this at a young age, and no its, not to be encouraged.
AlwaysColdHands · 13/04/2022 22:22

Our year 3 class full of kids playing dragons and fairies and football

Speak to teacher. Opportunities for RSE teaching and discussions…..

DeathMetalMum · 13/04/2022 22:31

I think it depends on the class. Dd1 now year 6 her class were like this in year 3, being boyfriends and girlfriends and breaking up all the time they even talked about marriage Hmm it fizzled out by year 5 and haven't heard anything since. Dd2 year 4 currently no mention of boyfriends/girlfriends whatsoever. Same school and a few siblings crossing over classes.

CandyLeBonBon · 13/04/2022 22:44

[quote Irritatedmum]@CandyLeBonBon I do too, but older - more like age 10 - and I don’t remember any of my girl friends being funny about it. Maybe that’s a good thing, maybe my DD will forget it all too![/quote]
I definitely remember it going on around 9. That said, when it started happening with my dd I also said friendships were more important than bfs etc.

The pp saying you can tell 'what kind of parents they have' is being snobby and judgmental frankly.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 13/04/2022 22:49

There was a bit of this in DS class in year 4, but it seems to have disappeared in year 5. From what I could tell it was one or two kids talking about dating and saying people were boyfriend and girlfriend with lots of others just going along with it. DS fortunately didn't see the point - I told him there was no point having a girlfriend until he was older and that at his age they are just friends who happen to be girls. It was mostly forgotten about after the summer holidays. Mad as it seems there are definitely a few parents that push this though, even at primary age.

AnnaSW1 · 13/04/2022 22:54

This is how it was when I was that age!

Borris · 13/04/2022 22:55

There were quite a lot of playground weddings last year in year 5 🤣🤣. One child was the designated vicar - he was quite in demand for a while.

Quornflakegirl · 13/04/2022 23:01

My dd’s are 9 and in year 4, they wouldn’t even know these sentences and nor would the girls (or boys) in their class.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 13/04/2022 23:01

@Borris

There were quite a lot of playground weddings last year in year 5 🤣🤣. One child was the designated vicar - he was quite in demand for a while.
That's made me laugh !

My younger 2 are year 4 and 6 and there's been no mention of boyfriends and girlfriends

My younger one had a friend in years 1 & 2 who bought him presents for Christmas and valentines day and he bought her little presents too but they never referred to each other as bf/gf

Quornflakegirl · 13/04/2022 23:05

I’ve just recalled this after reading another posters comment that one of my dd’s and her best friend (a girl) had a friendship wedding at playtime. The class attended and her twin sister was the friend of honour. It was very exciting for the whole class. This is the height of boyfriend/girlfriend talk.

MangyInseam · 13/04/2022 23:09

I don't think it's uncommon, but I also don't think it's healthy.

It's funny with kids, you get some classes where the kids are really childlike, and then others the same age where they act like mini-teens. Often instigated by one or two of the girls, IMO, who happen to be into that. The others kind of follow along.

It used to happen around age 12 but it's been creeping down. Sometimes the kids acting like this get it from older siblings but mainly it's what they see on tv and social media. Watching Riverdale and crap like that.

Original poster
Irritatedmum · 14/04/2022 07:11

I don’t mind the boyfriend talk at all, and the little weddings I thought were very cute! But now it’s causing trouble between the girls it’s started to worry me

OP posts:
Gizacluethen · 14/04/2022 07:14

I remember having a physical fight to "win" a boy around that age 😳

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