Was that a dig about my circumstance

[notsureaboutTAAT]

So concerned friend messages me saying it must be exhausting for me to be taking the kids out somewhere everyday ( wood walks, trip into town, swimming type things, not theme parks or anything ££££) She understands it must be hard to be stuck in a small house with a tiny garden and have to go out to enjoy ourselves .

It's really got on my nerves, because it seems like a big dig, not actual concern I'm wearing myself out. The thing is my house is pretty standard size for my area (3 bed semi), yes garden is smallish, but her garden isn't exactly acres anyway. But apparently her kids can play at home and enjoy themselves as her house is big enough. Oh and apparently if I didn't spend so much going out I'd be able to save more towards moving. Right nice. I just prefer to get out somewhere so I don't get badgered about Tv all day, aibu ? Maybe I should be saving up for a bigger house 😂

She sounds like a dick.

She's jealous that you are on top of your parenting game and have more get up and go than she does.

Block and delete! She's a bitch.

It’s more exhausting to stay in and argue. I think it’s great you do so much with your children. Your ‘friend’ is trying to put you down.

Thank her for her concern and then never communicate with her again.

"oooh no, I get a real buzz out of doing interesting and educational things with the kids! Weirdly, the more I tire them out (in a good way, obvs) the better I feel myself "

She's very patronising.

On the other hand you could say next time: Ooh yes, your garden is lovely. Can we have a play date over at yours?

It'll be like putting salt on a slug.

Your "friend" is fucking rude! I would reply with something like:

Oh no, it's not exhausting at all. We've been having a lovely time. We love our little garden, just the right size for our family.

And then start to distance myself because no-one needs friends who are such arseholes.

I think I would have to be passive aggressive in my reply.
"Oh hiiiiii, have you managed to get out in the holidays at all or are you cooped up with the kids, the poor babes? I can't give you some great recommendations for fun things we've done if it helps? Must dash though, we are doing movie night with treats and camping in the lounge. #funmum"

That should have been 'can' 🤣

@Suzi888

It’s more exhausting to stay in and argue. I think it’s great you do so much with your children. Your ‘friend’ is trying to put you down.

Absolutely. I mean maybe her kids do play all day and entertain themselves merrily, lucky her if they do. But I'm all about balancing out the copious amounts of holiday Tv 😄

That message was the 'friend' version of negging. She's not a real friend, I'd put her straight into the frenemy camp after that.

Well I have a big house with a big garden, and I still took my kids out a lot. With friends, parks, woods, activity places, clubs etc. Change of scene, other stuff to do and to be with other kids.

Awful dig.
Just text back that you enjoy giving your children varied experiences, as no matter what the size of (her) house or garden, it isn't adequate parenting in your view just to be at home all day, as it lacks the stimulation your (highly intelligent and curious) children require to develop into well rounded adults. And end with a .

She sounds jealous to me,, or even free, guilty you are interacting with your kids, spending quality time with them

She doesn’t seem to spend the same with her kids as her house is big enough for them to entertain themselves, so she feels guilty at the lack of interaction she has with her kids compared to you and yours

Just ignore her

How did she know?
Were you putting it all on social media?

Not saying there's anything wrong with that btw, but some people compare themselves or can interpret certain things as bragging...especially if they are in the frame of mind where they feel less than good enough.

Not saying that's ok either, but if she is an otherwise good friend then maybe she's not doing too good and took it all out on you?

How rude! Ignore and continue taking your DC out, who wants to be stuck at home all day?

She sounds funny. Write something marvellous back. Thank her for her post and tell her it really cheered you up.

Your response should be:

No it's not exhausting. It's actually really good for us all to get out and about rather than being stuck in the house and garden. You should try it some time!

Is test her something equally shit. 'You're too sweet! Feel free to join us if you're children fancy a change of scene. There just so much to do'.

She's got poor social skills to criticise someone's home.

But walking in the woods is beautiful and swimming type things are fab,it seems like you are outdoorsy and have fun,she's jealous of you no doubt.
for her as she needs them you don't 🤣

I have a big house and garden. I’m completely jealous of mums with the oomph to get everyone out of the house, I find it so hard!!
Perhaps you could say generously ‘oh don’t worry we can’t all get the children organised and out, I know a lot of people who find that hard; it just works for me I guess.’ Sweetly, you wouldn’t want to be condescending

What a stupid woman she sounds like. I always use to take my two children out everyday at different times in the day.. I used to live in a small village, so went walking near the canal, which had a railway near by, so could watch canal boats, trains passing, and their was a field with some rescued donkeys to look at,There was also a pub nearby, that had some chickens pecking around the pub garden, and a few rabbits in a large cage in the garden. no money spent on the outings at all. and my two children loved seeing all these things.

You sound like great fun for your kids and a caring balanced mum. Ignore the hater. I love a good day out too after nearly 2 years staying in surely we should all be getting out a bit more?