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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was that a dig about my circumstance

64 replies

notsureaboutTAAT · 12/04/2022 22:48

So concerned friend messages me saying it must be exhausting for me to be taking the kids out somewhere everyday ( wood walks, trip into town, swimming type things, not theme parks or anything ££££) She understands it must be hard to be stuck in a small house with a tiny garden and have to go out to enjoy ourselves Hmm.

It's really got on my nerves, because it seems like a big dig, not actual concern I'm wearing myself out. The thing is my house is pretty standard size for my area (3 bed semi), yes garden is smallish, but her garden isn't exactly acres anyway. But apparently her kids can play at home and enjoy themselves as her house is big enough. Oh and apparently if I didn't spend so much going out I'd be able to save more towards moving. Right nice. I just prefer to get out somewhere so I don't get badgered about Tv all day, aibu ? Maybe I should be saving up for a bigger house 😂

OP posts:
Blanketpolicy · 13/04/2022 03:13

Call her out on it. Say I love spending time out with my kids, wtf are the comments about my house and spending choices all about?

Unless of course you complain constantly your house is too small, hate going out and how much it costs.

cutebutscary · 13/04/2022 03:42

Just say ' we absolutely love our adventures and life experiences
making memories together , I wouldn't want their memory of childhood to be just playing at home . Sounds positively lacking in enthusiasm and imagination'
Touché biatch

StrongCoffeAvalanche · 13/04/2022 03:48

She sounds jealous.

ThinWomansBrain · 13/04/2022 03:56

Just say that you think it's really lazy parenting to use TV as a constant babysitter, you prefer to enjoy the time with your children.

Autumnscene · 13/04/2022 04:08

Sounds to me that she regards having a big house is more important than entertaining her children.

blisstwins · 13/04/2022 04:08

@merryhouse

"oooh no, I get a real buzz out of doing interesting and educational things with the kids! Weirdly, the more I tire them out (in a good way, obvs) the better I feel myself Grin"
Yep, this…because it is actually true. She is lame. Don’t let it bother you.
MRex · 13/04/2022 04:11

What exactly did her message say? Not your interpretation of it, the actual words.

CorsicaDreaming · 13/04/2022 04:24

It seems like an odd thing for her to say out of the blue - could you have inadvertently said something that annoyed her, and it is a retaliation dig at you?

Could all be a double misunderstanding- but also sounds like it's descending into toxic digs, I tend to just not bother replying at all or reply with something completely oblique that basically ignores the dig and so just carries on regardless... like "we had a great time doing X actually, I'd really recommend it".

If she keeps on saying things that feel like digs, I'd just stop replying and create some distance

boronia · 13/04/2022 05:26

I'd just message back : not exhausted at all! We're really enjoying the holidays xx

Don't know what her agenda is but just ignore. Maybe her kids are glued to iPads all day and she's jealous?

Ffsmakeitstop · 13/04/2022 05:27

There are some marvellous replies on here you could send.
When mine were little I loved school holidays and my mum friends thought I was mad well no I actually enjoyed being at home or out and about with my kids.

JenniferBarkley · 13/04/2022 07:47

How did the message come about and what's your relationship like with her? You could go super passive aggressive.

Gosh Jane, what a strange message to get. Is everything ok? Every family is different, we're just happiest getting out and about. If yours prefer chilling at home that's fine too. X local attraction is good if you're looking for an easy option to get them out.

Member869894 · 13/04/2022 07:50

Let's see the text; I'm wondering if you might have got a bit of a chip on your shoulder about her larger house/ garden

Ratatoo · 13/04/2022 08:59

If that's what she actually said, I would give her the 😂😂😂 treatment

Hollywolly1 · 13/04/2022 09:15

I think she can't understand why you are so happy and she feels she should be happier with a bigger house and garden,but it doesn't work like that does it as happiness comes from within no matter what your situation

TabithaTittlemouse · 13/04/2022 09:19

‘Thanks for your concern but I love spending quality time engaging with my children and showing them how lucky we are to live here with so much on offer. I could never be one of those parents who never leave the house, life is for living’

Or tell her to fuck off.

TabithaTittlemouse · 13/04/2022 09:21

Btw when mine were small we lived in a big house with acres of gardens and we went out a lot because I got sick of being stuck indoors and they slept so much better being out all day.

(Plus less tidying Wink)

Heythere13 · 13/04/2022 09:21

Weird what people regard as “friends”

SoupDragon · 13/04/2022 09:24

I think you're being over sensitive TBH. It depends on what she's like at other times and face to face.

SVRT19674 · 13/04/2022 09:26

I think you are making her feel bad with your outdoorsy attitude to parenting, while she is nurturing coach potatoes (in a big house though Hmm. I would distance myself after that and would come back with some passive aggressive response, but that is just petty me.

Lindy2 · 13/04/2022 09:26

My house and garden is big enough for the kids to stay at home and play happily in.

However, when they were younger (now teens) we generally went out most days during school holidays. Exactly the same type of activities you are doing with your children.

Getting outside and experiencing different activities is good for you and them. It's also fun even if everyone gets tired out - there's nothing wrong with being tired at the end of the day.

Staying at home and leaving the kids to entertain themselves is frankly pretty poor and lazy parenting. It sounds to me like you being active with your children has hit a raw nerve with her and she's trying to justify her poor parenting by trying to criticise you.

Keep doing what you're doing. I still go out with my teenagers but they don't always want to now or they're busy with friends. I miss the days of filling the holidays with activities together.

IncompleteSenten · 13/04/2022 09:33

How did that come about?
You must have been chatting right? Telling her about the stuff you've been doing and will be doing?

It sounds like she felt defensive. Some people are like that. Everything is about them. Everything is an attack on them. Don't let it get to you

You could reply no, not exhausting at all. Don't worry about us. We all like to be out and about and save the lounging in front of the TV for the evening when we're home and tired from the fun family time.

Bitch meets bitch. 😁

Blueeyedgirl21 · 13/04/2022 09:36

Just be like ‘er no. Weirdly, I enjoy taking the kids, that I chose to conceive and birth, out and about doing fun things.’

Prescottdanni123 · 13/04/2022 09:43

Ignore her. Its wonderful that you do so much with your children, and you are making so many memories with them that they will look back on fondly. Because, in all seriousness, who reminisces nostalgically about staying home and watching TV day after day, week after week, month after month etc?

10HailMarys · 13/04/2022 09:56

Christ, she sounds vile

Buildingthefuture · 13/04/2022 10:00

Yes it was a dig. No, she’s not your friend. Block and ignore. No time for passive aggressive shite like that!!!