Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Was that a dig about my circumstance

64 replies

notsureaboutTAAT · 12/04/2022 22:48

So concerned friend messages me saying it must be exhausting for me to be taking the kids out somewhere everyday ( wood walks, trip into town, swimming type things, not theme parks or anything ££££) She understands it must be hard to be stuck in a small house with a tiny garden and have to go out to enjoy ourselves .

It's really got on my nerves, because it seems like a big dig, not actual concern I'm wearing myself out. The thing is my house is pretty standard size for my area (3 bed semi), yes garden is smallish, but her garden isn't exactly acres anyway. But apparently her kids can play at home and enjoy themselves as her house is big enough. Oh and apparently if I didn't spend so much going out I'd be able to save more towards moving. Right nice. I just prefer to get out somewhere so I don't get badgered about Tv all day, aibu ? Maybe I should be saving up for a bigger house 😂

OP posts:

SweetSakura · 13/04/2022 10:02

Why does she know what you get up to every day?

WirlyWillowtree · 13/04/2022 10:03

I’ve told our adult kids we will not be buying the grandchildren tat for birthdays etc. We will go out for days when the weather is good and create lovely memories. Your children will have the lovely memories of their mum being with them. I certainly don’t have lots of fab memories of playing in our garden as a kid which I know we did as we didn’t have any money and it was a big garden too.

BingBangB0ng · 13/04/2022 10:15

She’s being a dickhead, but I’d be interested to see the literal wording of her message and also what messages/social media posts of yours she was responding to.

It seems like she feels like you were bragging/shaming less active mums and wanted to take you down a peg, but hard to judge if that’s entirely in her head or if you did say something that suggests staying at home is bad parenting.

earlydoors42 · 13/04/2022 10:16

My friend has described nearly everywhere I've ever lived as "teeny tiny" at various points. She still comments on the size of my house now and how small it is for all of us in there.

She rents a small 2 bed house where her kids of opposite sexes had to share a bedroom until they left home... so no idea why she is always judging me. Just the phrase "teeny tiny" gets my back up now.

DrSbaitso · 13/04/2022 10:22

There's got to be a context to this.

motherofcatsandbears · 13/04/2022 10:22

She’s jealous that you are able to come up with ideas of what to do and where to take your DC, whereas she leaves her kids to roam around her palatial residence, not interacting with them.
She doesn’t sound like a friend at all.

OlympicProcrastinator · 13/04/2022 14:13

“I’m not taking them out because ‘my house is tiny’ as you put it, I take my kids out because I enjoy it. I don’t want to save for a bigger house thanks as I have no issue with my house size although weirdly it seems, you do. Your message was patronising at best.”

You could always throw in a ‘now you can fuck off’ at the end if you are feeling brave.

I did similar recently to a ‘friend’ I found rude. I literally told her she was rude and I’m too old to put up with rude friends. She was most put out. It was very liberating for me.

Violet9 · 13/04/2022 14:30

Op what triggered the text, were you talking about what you're doing during the holidays or did she just randomly send that text?!

Heythere13 · 13/04/2022 14:38

@Violet9

Op what triggered the text, were you talking about what you're doing during the holidays or did she just randomly send that text?!

Op “are you doing what you usually do in school holidays?! Bugger all and just kicking the kids out in your garden?”

Somethingsnappy · 13/04/2022 14:39

This is completely down to insecurity op. She isn't going out much with her kids, whilst seeing you taking them out often and having fun. Her brain has found a way to justify this so that she feels better about not taking them out much. She is just being silly and insecure, and perhaps not intelligent enough to realise how awful she sounds!

MakeItRain · 13/04/2022 14:41

Just send her a reply along the lines of "Exhausting? No it's great getting out and about. I feel more exhausted if I stay in and do nothing and the kids prefer going out too!" Then mute her.

knowinglesseveryday · 13/04/2022 15:09

@MakeItRain

Just send her a reply along the lines of "Exhausting? No it's great getting out and about. I feel more exhausted if I stay in and do nothing and the kids prefer going out too!" Then mute her.

Exactly that.

flaglady · 13/04/2022 19:59

I'm childish so id make a dig back along the lines of "no, not exhausting. We love going out together and I enjoy spending time with my children, don't you??"

SeedyBloomer · 13/04/2022 22:57

She’s probably slightly jealous that you spend so much time and effort doing quality things with your kids so am I so feel good about yourself and ignore her! I don’t think this is about your house. It’s about your ideas for keeping them occupied making her feel like she just leaves hers to it and so she needs to justify it to herself.

Flip

1 2 3