AIBU regarding inheritance?

[DeedlessIndeed]

Okay, so I'll preface by saying I don't think IABU, however I want a reality check from a non-emotive standpoint. I am also no-one of the people mentioned, but am aware of the situation.

Grandparent A has passed away. They left money to their biological children and biological grandchildren. This includes property and cash, the total of which is just shy of £1mil.

One of A's children - Bob - has a child from way back, and two step children.

The grandchild is unaware of the full extent of the will. They were close with their grandparent, however were not kept in the loop regarding the money side of things.

Bob is fully aware of the detail of his parent's will and the total of the cash assets. Despite Bob's parent passing away well over a year ago, he has not informed his first child who is now an adult in their mid-thirties.

Previously, Bob has withheld money left specifically to his first child when his other parent passed away. This was eventually revealed years after the death when Bob's sibling mentioned it in passing to the child, believing that the money had been passed on. The child was a young adult at the time, and didn't feel able to confront Bob, so the whole thing was brushed under the carpet.

So - here is my AIBU. Should I tell the child that Grandparent included them in the will. Bob and their child's relationship has massively improved in recent years after being not very present in each others lives when the child was younger, but this would put a massive cat amongst the pigeons.

Or should I keep my beak out, I am unrelated to the family and it is not any of my business?

I am more tempted by the first option and am pretty angry about Bob's handling of the situation!

Who is the executor? They should be contacting everyone and telling them.

Who is the executor? They should be ensuring the money goes directly to the grandchild, not through Bob.

Legally they should be told. If at a later date they challenge the Will, it will affect everyone. You really should tell them.

The grandchild is an adult. Why does Bob have anything to do with it? If the executor gave it to Bob then they have fucked up and need to resolve it for both inheritances.

I would get a copy of the will and inform the executor. Then hopefully money can go to the right person without any drama.

To my knowledge, the executors are Bob and Bob's sibling jointly.

The executor should have already contacted the grandchild (in both cases). To not do so is against the law. Bob is stealing. Not only stealing but stealing from his own child. I would tell the grandchild as it would be morally wrong not to do it.

However....are you absolutely sure, 100%, that the grandchild is mentioned in the will?

The executor is at fault and needs to rectify the situation. Legally the GC is entitled to both inheritances and can sue the executor. They should definitely be informed. I assume Bob is the Executor and has therefore committed fraud.

Bob is a criminal. He should be treated as you would treat any other thief. It’s that black and white. Being offspring of the deceased or the executor doesn’t give him any rights to his child’s money. He should be prosecuted, same as if he mugged someone on the street.

I would mention it to the grandchild. He's an adult and his father is stealing from him

Bob can’t be an executor if he’s a beneficiary of the will - can he?

I’d tell the child. Bob sounds like a prick.

Yes an executor can also be a beneficiary.

@quitefranklyabsurd

Bob can’t be an executor if he’s a beneficiary of the will - can he?

I’d tell the child. Bob sounds like a prick.

you can be - me and my sister will be the main bens of my parents estate and also the executors.

(its witnesses you can't be if also a ben or married to a ben)

Grandchild is mentioned in the will by name, along with 2 other cousins.

The sale of the property was completed this last month. Would it be standard to wait to notify the grandchild until after this? (Just thinking of possible valid reasons why grandchild has not been informed).

There is a backstory as to why the grandchild is slightly kept out of the fold due to an acrimonious divorce and no contact for a number of years. The relationship with the grandparents were not affected by this though.

You definitely can be an executor and a beneficiary

I would absolutely. Bob is a knob.

Just to add to my last point - the property makes up the vast majority of the inheritance to be split - not sure that makes a difference.

I’d tell them and wouldn’t think for a second that I shouldn’t have

My friends dad did this to his child. His wife (the childs mother) passed away and left 50/50 to her dh and dc. The dh being the executor. He spent ALL of the money and gave nothing to his child. The child found out later in life, in his 30s. The relationship never fully recovered. His df left him everything in his will, but for the child, it was too little too late. They didn't speak for 30 years, he didn't even attend his df funeral

@quitefranklyabsurd

Bob can’t be an executor if he’s a beneficiary of the will - can he?

I’d tell the child. Bob sounds like a prick.

Yes, Bob can be both executor and beneficiary. But he can’t be a witness if he’s either of those.

OP, the wills can be accessed by anyone once probate has been granted.
www.gov.uk/government/publications/find-a-will-or-probate-document-form-pa1s

If I were you, I’d search for copies of them before you speak to the children, as you may have got it wrong and cause lots of upset.

@Aconitum

I would absolutely. Bob is a knob.

Bob is a knob - I couldn't agree more.

Thanks - I didn't want to be a nosy old bag but honestly the whole thing has made me so angry. Grandparent would be horrified to know how this had turned out.

Isn't a solicitor involved ?
If there is a solicitor I think I'd raise concern with them.

@DeedlessIndeed

Grandchild is mentioned in the will by name, along with 2 other cousins.

The sale of the property was completed this last month. Would it be standard to wait to notify the grandchild until after this? (Just thinking of possible valid reasons why grandchild has not been informed).

There is a backstory as to why the grandchild is slightly kept out of the fold due to an acrimonious divorce and no contact for a number of years. The relationship with the grandparents were not affected by this though.

It is possible to not give out the proceeds for a will where there’s property to be sold for a long time. Certainly a year is common. As I mentioned in my last post, find the will online to confirm the contents.

I would tell them in a heartbeat

Anonymously post a copy of the will to the child, it's up to them after that.