AIBU regarding inheritance?

[DeedlessIndeed]

Okay, so I'll preface by saying I don't think IABU, however I want a reality check from a non-emotive standpoint. I am also no-one of the people mentioned, but am aware of the situation.

Grandparent A has passed away. They left money to their biological children and biological grandchildren. This includes property and cash, the total of which is just shy of £1mil.

One of A's children - Bob - has a child from way back, and two step children.

The grandchild is unaware of the full extent of the will. They were close with their grandparent, however were not kept in the loop regarding the money side of things.

Bob is fully aware of the detail of his parent's will and the total of the cash assets. Despite Bob's parent passing away well over a year ago, he has not informed his first child who is now an adult in their mid-thirties.

Previously, Bob has withheld money left specifically to his first child when his other parent passed away. This was eventually revealed years after the death when Bob's sibling mentioned it in passing to the child, believing that the money had been passed on. The child was a young adult at the time, and didn't feel able to confront Bob, so the whole thing was brushed under the carpet.

So - here is my AIBU. Should I tell the child that Grandparent included them in the will. Bob and their child's relationship has massively improved in recent years after being not very present in each others lives when the child was younger, but this would put a massive cat amongst the pigeons.

Or should I keep my beak out, I am unrelated to the family and it is not any of my business?

I am more tempted by the first option and am pretty angry about Bob's handling of the situation!

Thanks all, I am going to do the cowardly thing and get a copy of the will posted anonymously to Bob's child.

To those that have requested a copy of the will online before, can the executors see who has requested a copy?

Post a copy of the will to everyone, including Bob and his child. Then you're not singling out Bob and his child, and other people then have a chance to ensure that Bob's child gets their inheritance and Bob can't really rob his child since it's all out in the open.

@DeedlessIndeed

Thanks all, I am going to do the cowardly thing and get a copy of the will posted anonymously to Bob's child.

To those that have requested a copy of the will online before, can the executors see who has requested a copy?

No, nobody can see. It's a government thing and you can't see who has had a copy.

Why wouldn't you just speak to the young man? God knows he needs somebody on his side if his own dad is ripping him off.

Adding a vote here for Bob being a knob. A criminal, dishonest, scammy knob.

An additional thought - if the will was 'the house will be sold and proceeds to x y and z' then that's one thing, but if the house itself was left to x y and z then Bob and sibling have no business selling it unless all the beneficiaries agree, surely?

Do you know what the will said?

I’d also send copies of the previous will you refer to so that the child has a chance to recoup all of his losses.

Why wouldn't you just speak to the young man? God knows he needs somebody on his side if his own dad is ripping him off.

I appreciate this point. I admit I am 100% a coward in this instance. If it was made public that I was the one that had found this out and told the child then I would suffer consequences within my own relationships. I accept that does make me selfish.

I'm resolved to do what I can. I will be doing more than Bob's child's own flesh and blood. I liked @Wartywart 's idea of sending copies to everyone mentioned in the will. That way, it brings everything out into the open and everyone is on the same page.

Also, I keep saying child, but Bob's child is mid-30s, successful career and definitely has the capacity to fight for their share if they chose to (once they know about it of course). My concern would perhaps be that there is a repeat of last time where the child forgoes the money to avoid rocking the boat with Bob, however that would be their choice to make.

@DeedlessIndeed

Thanks all, I am going to do the cowardly thing and get a copy of the will posted anonymously to Bob's child.

To those that have requested a copy of the will online before, can the executors see who has requested a copy?

This may seem "cowardly" bit actually I think its very brave and the right thing to do. It provides the son with the information and doesn't risk putting any emotion into the telling of them. Just simply, here are the facts.

My concern would perhaps be that there is a repeat of last time where the child forgoes the money to avoid rocking the boat with Bob, however that would be their choice to make you are right, that is their choice. Unless you know which solicitor is helping them I think posting the copies of the will is all you can do.

Pass on to the solicitor the contact details of the child in question.

@GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut - that is a very good point. I have read the will but don't have access currently. My memory is not up to scratch to be able to differentiate between the two. I've ordered it online and will take note to check that.

@Foolsrule - This is something to consider. I believe that the previous amount was much lower, but still a few £K, however you're right he is still entitled to it.

NRTFT, only your posts but with an estate that size I'd expect a solicitor to be involved, very suspicious if not. When I worked in probate we had to get certified copies of the beneficiaries ID when provided with their address for cheques or their bank details. If local, we asked them to come to the office with their ID. We weren't a huge firm but we had a lot of solicitors working evening and weekends (standard in the industry) so for the few who tried excuses, we offered to let them come in on Saturdays and Sundays. If there's a solicitor involved it would be negligence to release the money to an unconfirmed account.

Surely it’s unusual for an estate of that size for a solicitor not to be involved? And they would ensure the money gets to the correct person ?

If not and you are sure I would send an anonymous note , just saying ask for a copy of the will .

I would be very cross as we well .

The will of first gp should be publicly available. Yes tell him to check. Are he and Bob estranged?

Definitely tell them.

Maybe also Bob know he may end up behind bars for theft.

@quitefranklyabsurd

Bob can’t be an executor if he’s a beneficiary of the will - can he?

I’d tell the child. Bob sounds like a prick.

Yes he can, but he can't be a witness.

@Unsure33

Surely it’s unusual for an estate of that size for a solicitor not to be involved? And they would ensure the money gets to the correct person ?

If not and you are sure I would send an anonymous note , just saying ask for a copy of the will .

I would be very cross as we well .

Executors are very rarely checked up on legally. They can get a way with quite a lot if they are unscrupulous and there are few relatives. When my uncle died, I was the only executor- estate of £225,000. No one ever checked up what I did after the probate request form was completed. I was astonished that there was no check.

When my mam died, there was only me (dad dead, her brother dead and I was an only child) and she didn't have a will. She had given me quite a lot of money while she was alive (about 30,000) in various ways across years. There was about £30,000 left. It was across 3 bank accounts, one was a joint account with my name on it as well. I went to the banks with her death certificate and they just transferred the money to me.