Every so often I get myself into a little panic about my mums housing situation. In case it matters I am 31 she is 55.
She is renting, rent alone currently cost more than half her take home salary so saving for a deposit is not possible.
But that's the problem, it isn't possible for her to save NOW. She had ample time and opportunity to do so over her life, but she did not. I certainly think she is foolish for not doing so.
She married young (my father), then divorced, not sure what the financial set up was there but they did not own a house. She then moved in with a man. Very very strange set up, not together but some sort of arrangement. Lived with him 14 years. Paid no rent, I am not sure what the set up for bills was. All the while she had a very well paid job so could have saved a fortune.
That arrangement finished, she moved in with my GPs. Lived with them for 12 years until they passed away and the house was sold (she had other siblings). She would claim she kept that house afloat, but she didn't. I saw my GPs pay their bills, she may have helped out. I did when I was earning.
I had a very very well paid job about 5 years ago now. House prices in our town were still very low compared to national average. I saved a deposit and offered it to her for buying a house. She was renting a shit hole house by now. On the same road as GPs house and built at the same time but in horrendous condition. Again, rent would have been approx 1/4 of her monthly salary at this point. She refused to even look at any of the houses I suggested as they not all on one floor. Now I will give her some leeway on that she says she was too emotionally connected to the road to leave. But it was 2/3 years after she moved out of GPs house. It was only pure chance she got rent on that street.
Anyway, I spent the deposit money, moved on with my life.
I just worry that before she is even an OAP she will be living with me. DH is not a fan of that idea! Also we trying to start a family. I live a few hours away from my hometown now though so it is likely I will be her last resort.
I look at house prices in her town constantly, but I do not have the deposit and due to her age she needs a large deposit for a short mortgage. My SIL who I moaned about this to a few times says to leave it to it, she is a grown woman and can sort herself out. But I’m not sure that is the case and frequently (usually in the middle of the night) worry/ panic about what will happen when she no longer works. V V V little social housing where she lives.
Am I BU to be frustrated she didn’t sort herself out when she really really could have. I do not harp on at her about it, she can’t change the past so there is no point. It just frustrates me no end! And I do love my mum I just want what is best for her. She has never really had to look after herself so I worry. I am an only child. Luckily she does have siblings in her home town who help out.