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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think they were really nasty (or maybe I just need to toughen up)

69 replies

Somewhereovertherainbow98 · 10/04/2022 15:19

Not really an AIBU but just felt really upset and needed to rant 😥 I’ve NC but I’m a regular.

I had an unfortunate situation and it made me really upset, I’m probably just being dramatic but I’ve never felt so embarrassed and awkward.

I was at work and my period started suddenly. Its extremely irregular and I hadn’t had it for 3 months beforehand, and I hadn’t had any signs it was going to happen, so I wasn’t prepared at all for it and it was unfortunately a lot of blood. It was at the end of the day and i had sanitary products with me but they were in my bag in the staff room and I didn’t have any spare clothes, which I definitely needed before I could go home as it was a lot of bleeding. Everyone was trying to get out of work (the shop was closed) and they were like come on were going home and obviously I didnt want to draw attention to anything so I just wrapped my jacket round my waist and left. The shop I work in is in a shopping centre so I went straight into a clothes shop and bought a change of underwear and trousers just so I could get home.

I went to the toilets in the shopping centre to get changed, there was a cleaner there but she smiled when I went in and didn’t say anything about the toilets being almost closed or to be quick because they were closing. I started getting changed in a cubicle and then suddenly the lights went off. I realised they were closing and shouted out sorry I’m still in a cubicle!! And got an extremely rude ‘well hurry up we’re closing!’ At this point I was halfway through getting changed so I shouted back that I was so sorry and that I would be 30 seconds i was just quickly getting changed. They immediately started shouting at me that they toilets are for doing the toilet not getting changed and they started laughing loudly (at this point there was clearly another 1 or 2 cleaners with them) about why on earth would you be getting changed in a public toilet and that it’s dirty and laughing about it. I felt so embarrassed and it was horrible, I just shouted back that i was sorry it was just an unexpected girl problem (and hoped they would know what I meant) and then I heard them talking and laughing about it, including how I’d probably ‘shat myself’ and that I better not leave blood all over the toilets or leave the toilets a mess. One of them also shouted that I should use sanitary products and they all talked about how f*cking disgusting it was. I felt so upset and humiliated and was trying not to cry whilst also trying to leave as quickly as I could.

I got changed as quickly as I could and left as soon as I had quickly washed my hands (which caused them to get more annoyed at how long I was taking) and I quickly left the toilets and went back to my car and had a bit of a cry. I just felt so humiliated and embarrassed when I was in that cublicle and I thought as fellow females they would she’s understood how awful that situation can be sometimes.

Sorry to rant, I’m guilty of getting too upset with things and I’ve been told all my life I need to toughen up but this really upset me and made me feel horrible

OP posts:

GeneLovesJezebel · 10/04/2022 15:22

I am so sorry this happened . Female cleaners being like that about a female problem is disgusting.

L0stinCyberspace · 10/04/2022 15:22

Horrible insensitive pack of bullies. I'd be upset too and TBH I would actually email a complaint in to the cleaning company.

endofmytether22 · 10/04/2022 15:23

Disgusting behaviour on their part, they sound like immature school kids. I'd make a formal complaint if this had happened to me. Hope you're Ok, OP

Octomore · 10/04/2022 15:26

They were really nasty, and I'd be submitting a formal complaint. That's appalling behaviour.

Karatema · 10/04/2022 15:26

Formal complaint needed here! I would have been upset too

tearinghairout · 10/04/2022 15:26

It sounds a horrible situation but you did what you had to do. Doubtless the cleaners wanted to get home, but they were unsympathetic and they sound nasty. I've had cleaners take the piss out of me at work (no pun intended) for having a poo while they were there. I could hear them. It was something I needed to do and is surely what loos are for! You were unlucky. You dealt with a tricky situation. Try to put it behind you.

Karatema · 10/04/2022 15:26

for you

SmallPrawnEnergy · 10/04/2022 15:27

I mean, you obviously know you’re being unreasonable, no one would think, if true, the way they spoke to you is ok.

Send a complaint to the shopping centre management.

LightSpeeds · 10/04/2022 15:32

How awful.

Aquafizzle · 10/04/2022 15:32

They sound deeply uncivilised and this is how they probably normally speak in their everyday lives. You're rightly shocked by it because you're a more refined and polite person.

Don't let their ignorant behaviour make you feel bad. I'd feel sorry for them.

ThirdElephant · 10/04/2022 15:36

They were being unreasonable to talk to you like they did, but I get why they were annoyed. From their perspective, you knew they were closing, they tried to be nice by letting you go in anyway, when they could have just turned you away, and then you took an age. They could be missing their kids' bedtimes or late to collect from childcare or anything.

They shouldn't have been rude about it though.

Toomanyradishes · 10/04/2022 15:36

They were vile, yanbu

Mariposista · 10/04/2022 15:37

This is so vile. I feel so sorry for you OP. How immature and unprofessional. Please take PP advice and report this. The company will be able to find out who was on shift that day in that centre.

iklboo · 10/04/2022 15:40

From their perspective, you knew they were closing, they tried to be nice by letting you go in anyway, when they could have just turned you away, and then you took an age

OP didn't know they were closing until the lights went off - when she was in the middle of changing her blood-stained clothing. It's not like she was getting ready for a night out in there.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 10/04/2022 15:43

Sorry you had such a horrible experience. You should complain.

PonyPatter44 · 10/04/2022 15:46

They were shitbags. Complain to the centre management, give the date and time you were there, and tell them you'd like an apology.

Georgeskitchen · 10/04/2022 15:48

Disgusting. Make a complaint to the company

Clarinet1 · 10/04/2022 15:50

I think they were awful. People who clean loos should understand (if necessary be trained) that sometimes people will have some kind of “disaster” on their hands and need a bit of time! Also, to carry on about it once you had apologised was U - whatever you had been doing and however long it had taken obviously you were going to wash your hands.

SirChenjins · 10/04/2022 15:57

Revolting behaviour from them and yes, definitely write a letter of complaint. I’m so sorry this happened to you

foxy86 · 10/04/2022 15:58

I’d complain if I were you. They are employed and working, not at school. No need to be so rude and impatient. These things happen and they should have been sympathetic of your situation. If it were them or one of their daughters I bet their attitude would have been different.

LethargeMarg · 10/04/2022 15:58

Definitely complain . State which toilet you were in and what time it was and they'll be able to work out who it was . No excuse for rudeness and cruel comments, there are lots of upsetting reasons people may take a long time in the toilet .
I know that in my workplaces they really struggle to recruit cleaners at the moment so they've probably got staff that aren't great cos there's no one else to do it or staff that are doing loads of overtime so are grumpy but still no excuse

LazyDaisy22 · 10/04/2022 15:59

No wonder you were upset - they behaved disgracefully. You were doing nothing wrong. I would definitely make a formal complaint if you feel up to it. They should be disciplined and prevented from ever speaking like that to anyone else. 💐

jmpt29 · 10/04/2022 16:00

I'm so sorry.
You've got nothing to be embarrassed about who hasn't had an accident at the worse possible time. Those cleaners on the other hand should be absolutely ashamed of themselves that it disgusting behaviour.

I would absolutely get in touch with someone and put in a complaint. They need speaking to and to never treat someone like that again.

I hope you're ok! x

Youdoyoutoday · 10/04/2022 16:00

Should have thrown your bloody knickers at them!! The witches!

But definitely complain! Would they have the same to a teenager who is still getting use to periods? Probably!

TheBigPeach · 10/04/2022 16:01

I would have moved even slower and make a complaint also.

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