To think they were really nasty (or maybe I just need to toughen up)

[Somewhereovertherainbow98]

Not really an AIBU but just felt really upset and needed to rant 😥 I’ve NC but I’m a regular.

I had an unfortunate situation and it made me really upset, I’m probably just being dramatic but I’ve never felt so embarrassed and awkward.

I was at work and my period started suddenly. Its extremely irregular and I hadn’t had it for 3 months beforehand, and I hadn’t had any signs it was going to happen, so I wasn’t prepared at all for it and it was unfortunately a lot of blood. It was at the end of the day and i had sanitary products with me but they were in my bag in the staff room and I didn’t have any spare clothes, which I definitely needed before I could go home as it was a lot of bleeding. Everyone was trying to get out of work (the shop was closed) and they were like come on were going home and obviously I didnt want to draw attention to anything so I just wrapped my jacket round my waist and left. The shop I work in is in a shopping centre so I went straight into a clothes shop and bought a change of underwear and trousers just so I could get home.

I went to the toilets in the shopping centre to get changed, there was a cleaner there but she smiled when I went in and didn’t say anything about the toilets being almost closed or to be quick because they were closing. I started getting changed in a cubicle and then suddenly the lights went off. I realised they were closing and shouted out sorry I’m still in a cubicle!! And got an extremely rude ‘well hurry up we’re closing!’ At this point I was halfway through getting changed so I shouted back that I was so sorry and that I would be 30 seconds i was just quickly getting changed. They immediately started shouting at me that they toilets are for doing the toilet not getting changed and they started laughing loudly (at this point there was clearly another 1 or 2 cleaners with them) about why on earth would you be getting changed in a public toilet and that it’s dirty and laughing about it. I felt so embarrassed and it was horrible, I just shouted back that i was sorry it was just an unexpected girl problem (and hoped they would know what I meant) and then I heard them talking and laughing about it, including how I’d probably ‘shat myself’ and that I better not leave blood all over the toilets or leave the toilets a mess. One of them also shouted that I should use sanitary products and they all talked about how f*cking disgusting it was. I felt so upset and humiliated and was trying not to cry whilst also trying to leave as quickly as I could.

I got changed as quickly as I could and left as soon as I had quickly washed my hands (which caused them to get more annoyed at how long I was taking) and I quickly left the toilets and went back to my car and had a bit of a cry. I just felt so humiliated and embarrassed when I was in that cublicle and I thought as fellow females they would she’s understood how awful that situation can be sometimes.

Sorry to rant, I’m guilty of getting too upset with things and I’ve been told all my life I need to toughen up but this really upset me and made me feel horrible

I think I’d be more mad with them than have cried about it. Horrible people with no empathy!
I’d complain if you don’t work there and have to see them all the time. Just because if they know it’s you you might become a target to further nasty behaviour.
Sorry you had to put up with that on top of an already awkward situation

Oh op I had a similar experience with a cleaning lady standing guard at the door tutting and muttering. Made me feel so small and almost indecent. Some people are just mean hearted for no reason
Big hug to you

Agree you should complain to the shopping centre manager and to the cleaning company (if it's separate).
Don't worry about getting them in to trouble, they shouldn't have spoken to you like that. If they end up loosing their job then that's not your problem.

I can’t believe grown women At work would act in such a way!
You need to complain to the shopping centre management. There will know who was in shift and can discipline them. They should not be allowed to get away with this behaviour

Know this please, you’re not the problem here. There is something wrong with people like that, I would have no problem reporting them, they need to get in to trouble for the sake of society. Laughing about what someone needs to do in a toilet is not on (most 5 year olds know better). Occupying their jobs in that role is a responsibility and they failed. We need to move past periods being something to be ashamed of, they’re not and should never be.

You sound to me like a very thoughtful person op and it worries me that you’re being told to “toughen up”, who’s telling you this? I’m only getting a glimpse of your life but I’m not getting vibes that you’re a dramatic attention seeking over sensitive individual and I’ve been around the block a few times.

So, to conclude, please report the arseholes and tell yourself it’s ok to feel emotions, you’re human, it’s what we do with them that counts 💐

I can never understand why female cleaners can be like this about a female issue! Unbelievable. YANBU.

Shock9ng behaviour towards you I’m disgusted at this complain.

They sound like a vile packs of jobsworth bullies.

OP, I hope this experience hasn’t put you off using the same toilets but I completely understand if you never step foot in them ones again.

Also, your previous post when saying “I’ve been to the doctor and thankfully nothings wrong with me”
Please go back to the doctors. Irregular periods so sporadically are not normal. I’m 28, and I after years and years and not knowing when I would have a period I’m know being investigated for Edometriosis and PCOS.

This is actually so awful! They are very rude and inconsiderate.
Please complain to the shopping centre as that is out of order.
I get they were fed up and wanted to close up for the day but they seen you going in so should never have turned the lights out, massive health and safety problem.
Then to laugh and be so rude is just terrible. I would take this further, that’s enough to upset anyone

Please please complain.
What horrible people.

@iklboo

From their perspective, you knew they were closing, they tried to be nice by letting you go in anyway, when they could have just turned you away, and then you took an age

OP didn't know they were closing until the lights went off - when she was in the middle of changing her blood-stained clothing. It's not like she was getting ready for a night out in there.

She works in the shopping centre through. Surely she knows the closing time.

I'm so sorry. What a bunch of shit bags

Definitely complain. And have a from me. Whichever is your preference. Or my preference which is all three

@DropYourSword

I’ve never been in those toilets before, I usually go straight home from work. Besides it’s a big shopping centre so I definitely don’t know details of the toilets closing! I didn’t even think about it being closed, especially since the first cleaner didn’t say anything when I went in, but the shopping centres got a cinema in it so it’s open late (most of the shops shut at normal times though) so even if I had thought about the toilets being opened or closed, I’d have assumed they would be open with the centre being open rather than closing with the individual shops

Omg no that's horrendous!
Not over reacting at all.
Definitely make a complaint to the centre management.

Bless you op. You sound like a lovely person.
Don’t let it knock your confidence. These women sound like nasty bullies. I’m sorry this happened to you 💐

I’d have assumed they would be open with the centre being open rather than closing with the individual shops

I'd have made that assumption too! Apologies, I hadn't realised other places were remaining open, in which case how would you know! Sorry this happened to you.

Thank you so much everyone again I actually feel so much better about it all.💕

It’s always been something I’ve been aware of, that I’m too emotional and get upset too easily. In school if I got into trouble, even if it was just to stop talking, I had to try and stop myself bursting into tears! I overthink any sort of negative experience and definitely get too worried and upset. I played sports and I always took comments from coaches far too personally and it really upset me, even if they were just giving me advice or tips in a really kind way, I’d still get all upset and teary! It makes it hard to tell when something is genuinely upsetting or when I’m just being dramatic and unnecessarilly upset. It’s a relief to know this time it wasn’t just me being dramatic! x

@DropYourSword

I’d have assumed they would be open with the centre being open rather than closing with the individual shops

I'd have made that assumption too! Apologies, I hadn't realised other places were remaining open, in which case how would you know! Sorry this happened to you.

No don’t be sorry I hope I didn’t come across rude or sharp in my reply! I typed too quickly and didn’t read it over until after I’d posted!

It definitely would have helped if I mentioned that in my OP so that’s my mistake, although it was already toooo long so maybe best I didn’t add more to it

I’m really hoping your update today will be that you made a complaint. I would have found this really upsetting too.