Dh and the eggs!

[Fitterbyfifty]

Ok, this has ( irrationally?) pissed me off mightily so I thought I would ask AIBU - do your worst!

Dh decided to make carbonara - he doesn't normally cook but it was my birthday so he offered. I said ok (I don't like carbonara but, chef's choice). I told him to check the date on the eggs as I think some of them were out of date but we were going to boil and paint them so they were still in the fridge. He said ok. Just before he started I said again, please check you're using the fresh eggs - the carbonara is made with raw eggs so I'm more careful with use by dates than normal. He said ok, stop fussing. This morning I discovered- you've guessed it - he used the eggs which were a week out of date. Apparently, he didn't think. Obviously we are all still alive but it has given me the rage. Why can he not do a simple task? Why say yes but then not do it?

As is so often the case, it's not really about the eggs it's that I can't trust him to tell the truth. He says he'll do something but he won't- be that check eggs or pay for a school trip. I have to double check everything or, as more often happens, do it myself. We started out as partners sharing tasks but over the years, I do more and more myself as I can't trust him to actually do it and have to check up on everything. It's exhausting. AIBU and how do I get him to step up??? I doubt he is like this at work so why does he need micromanaging at home?

Yeah he shouldn’t have lied. That’s way out of order.

But honestly, you’re being OTT. Eggs are good for weeks (months, actually) past the date. And the whole point is they’re cooked by the heat of the pasta which is what creates the sauce. So there’s no need to worry, at all.

He made meal you don't like for your birthday ? That's as much off as the eggs !
He's not like it at home because mum will make sure things are done properly, I'd stop doing things that will impact him personally if he doesn't do them.

We often use them out of date. Never been ill. Last lot was about 3 weeks. Although i did the float test and were fine

It doesn't use "raw" eggs, they're heated in the sauce. They're not raw as in in, how I use raw eggs for my favourite hangover cure, or steak tartare though.

BBE dates are a crapshoot designed to encourage overconsumption, higher spending and food waste anyways. You're being over the top and histrionic.

If you don't trust him to do the sniff test, then what are you doing with him, really?

I’m stuck on that he cooked you something you don’t like on your birthday to be honest, did he know?

But honestly, you’re being OTT.
You're right but it's more that he can say "yes ok" but not actually do what I asked. Has happened in lots of other scenarios. It makes me wary of believing him.

Oh I’d missed that...so he cooked for you as a big gesture on your birthday but then made something you don’t like?? And you weren’t able to just say ‘no. I’d like something I actually like for my birthday since apparently that’s why you’re doing it’? Is he the kind of man who doesn’t listen to you and doesn’t actually care one bit what you want/don’t want, like/dislike or maybe about actually doing something nice for you on your birthday?

Eggs good for months past use by date?? How does that work out ?

Well the eggs will be fine. They last ages over use by.

This isn't about the eggs though and why on earth did you agree to eat something you know you don't like on your birthday and does he know you don't like it? It's the birthday persons choice.

I’m stuck on that he cooked you something you don’t like on your birthday to be honest, did he know?
Yes, but he hasn't got a big recipe repertoire tbh and the kids wanted that so I said ok.

@iheartmybeachhut

Eggs good for months past use by date?? How does that work out ?

It works out because that’s just how it is. Supermarkets label them for stock control purposes and also because it’s a win-win for them because lots of people think they go rotten overnight on the date and then must be thrown out.

I don't throw eggs out after the expiry date btw but I do use them to hard boil instead.

Delegate the tasks and leave him to succeed or fail and sort out any mess he creates.

I suggest meal planning, food shopping and cooking plus laundry - washing, drying and sorting into piles with the DC help.

Ok so it’s fair enough on the choice of meal and I guess I understand why you agreed.

Still find that very hard to believe tbh, five weeks tops after use by maybe in proper storage but the taste and texture will change somewhat.
Sorry to derail op, over to you...

That’s different though. They’re still perfectly good to eat. Whether soft boiled, hard boiled, scrambled or whatever. If they were rotten and unsafe to eat, trust me, you’d know.

@iheartmybeachhut

Eggs good for months past use by date?? How does that work out ?

Many food products are good long past their 'use by' date. It's how they get you to chuck them out and buy more.

Take potatoes. They are absolutely fine for months and months and months and if you grow your own, they don't come out of the ground with a 'use by' date on it. You use them until they sprout, go mouldy or are too soft to peel. In supermarket world, they need to be chucked out 2 weeks after you buy them.

Anyway sorry for derail! Bottom line is you should be able to trust his word which clearly, you can’t.

@Fitterbyfifty

I don't throw eggs out after the expiry date btw but I do use them to hard boil instead.

You can use them perfectly fine for ages. If in doubt, fill a pink glass with water and put the eggs in. If they sink they are fine. If they float they are not. This method of testing egg freshness has been around for centuries.

I do more and more myself as I can't trust him to actually do it and have to check up on everything. It's exhausting. AIBU and how do I get him to step up??? I doubt he is like this at work so why does he need micromanaging at home?

He doesn’t. It’s you that thinks he does.

As other have said eggs will have been fine. So all that stress was unnecessary. Should have left him to it.

He isn’t doing things exactly how you would do them. That’s your problem, not his.

If he can cook a carbonara he can tell when eggs are off.

You can use them perfectly fine for ages. If in doubt, fill a pink glass with water and put the eggs in. If they sink they are fine. If they float they are not. This method of testing egg freshness has been around for centuries

Why does it have to be a pink glass? Does the colour affect the bouyancy of the water?

@AlisonDonut not to argue but that’s actually incorrect - that test is for levels of freshness, not for whether or not they are good to eat. You can still eat an egg quite safely even if it floats, as long as it doesn’t smell/look off.

Two things:

1 If you felt you had to check with him twice about date of the eggs, then you obviously know that he is daft and it would have been much easier to put the eggs out on the side that you wanted him to use.

2 The choice of carbonara does make you look like a martyr. Your life is obviously tricky and you can't even get a decent meal out of him. You said his repetoire was small but he must therefore have other choices. You picked something that the kids like. It's not their birthday. If you don't value yourself how can you expect others to?

Time to have a good look at your family dynamics maybe .

Anyway now I promise I’m not going to derail any further! It’s just one of those things I wish more people knew since eggs are full of nutrients and with everyone trying to save money it makes sense to use them up regardless of date instead of discarding or being frightened of cooking with them.

Re: carbonara. I wasn't being a martyr- I don't like it but I don't hate it iyswim. It was convenient!