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Original poster

To ask how to wean DC off tablet use?

63 replies

TabletAddiction · 10/04/2022 10:54

DC is 7, an only child

They’ve never been great at entertaining themselves, I suspect SN is the reason but currently school and GP disagree there’s anything underlying and are blaming covid (blaming both the lockdowns and DC having covid 3 times since April 2020 – the first time was before testing so is only suspected).

I’m trying to get some work done (just admin no phone calls) so that I can have tomorrow off to spend with them (I freelance so charge accordingly so it saves me money in the long run not using holiday club everyday) and I had set up some colouring and snacks at the dining table (same room as me) there’s also all their toys including lego they could do literally anything, and they could watch TV but I said no to their tablet when they asked.

But that’s all they want to do so I can’t get on with my work as every 2 seconds it’s “can I have my tablet yet?” “I’m bored” I didn’t buy it and don’t want them on it all the time but it’s all they want to do these days.

They refused to get in the pool for their swimming lesson yesterday as they were “bored”, they refused to go to their activity on Friday because “I want my tablet” so I’m resisting it as much as I can as I think they have an unhealthy attachment to it. They don’t want to go to my cousins DCs party tomorrow as “I’d rather just play on my tablet”

This is just a rant really, I’m sick of the tablet being the reason to not do anything. I try and plan something nice like their cousins party or their activities (that they chose and insist they still want me to pay for and actually enjoy when I manage to persuade them) because “tablet”.

It’s got worse since they started school.

ExH doesn’t have this problem with them, says they never mention the tablet and is the complete opposite and begs him to take them out.

Any tips on how to wean them off it and actually play with proper toys?

OP posts:
romdowa · 10/04/2022 10:57

Loose it? Say the charger is broken? If they complain of being bored set them chores to do instead ?

Holly60 · 10/04/2022 10:58

You need to involve your DC in creating a tablet schedule. Allocates times in the day when they will be allowed the tablet, clearly written and displayed somewhere. Agree it together, explaining why it is important. Also create some kind of reward when they stick to it.

Every time they ask for their tablet - ask them to go and check the chart/clock. It’s their ownership so it’s not just down to whether mummy gives in and says yes, or not.

Be totally consistent. Never allow it outside of allocated times, no matter what else is going on. ALWAYS allow it at allocated times.

Foghead · 10/04/2022 10:59

Stick with it. They’ll soon adjust after an initial struggle. I’ve had to do this too.

Holly60 · 10/04/2022 10:59

Praise whenever they successfully stick to it, and perhaps a reward.

Foghead · 10/04/2022 11:01

Wean them off completely first. If they have a scheduled time for it, I found they ended up clock watching until it was time. they never really focused on anything.

OhMyStarryEyedSurprise · 10/04/2022 11:01

The tablet needs to be a reward not a given.

Plenty of distraction and go and do this or this first then you can have your tablet.
Screen time should be limited in general anyway.

What are you doing besides them having their tablet? Can you lose the charger for a few days to break the habit. After the whingeing stops they will rediscover old toys etc.

So either go cold turkey or only let them have it before bed and/ or on a timer.

I would let it run down, hide the charger then say it's broken. Then gradually re-introduce it as a reward for good behaviour or for timed, specific use only. Eg you have to get work done or housework done or whatever and it's a guaranteed way of getting ten minutes peace.

Children need to learn to regulate their own emotions and find creative ways to deal with their boredom.

Ditch the tablet until you can re-introduce it as a reward and something to be earned rather than a permanent go to.

coodawoodashooda · 10/04/2022 11:03

@Foghead

Wean them off completely first. If they have a scheduled time for it, I found they ended up clock watching until it was time. they never really focused on anything.
Explain your concern. Go cold turkey. I understood until the swimming lesson carry on. That's a carry on.
Original poster
TabletAddiction · 10/04/2022 11:06

Thank you everyone, I think if I do it at set times they'll just clock watch until they get it so I think cold turkey completely is the way.

I'm working a few days next week so they are in holiday club, they'll probably complain about it all the way there too. I feel sorry for the staff, they do manage to persuade them to join in after awhile but it'll be a repeat everyday they're there.

OP posts:
OhMyStarryEyedSurprise · 10/04/2022 11:09

Agree with all other posts and the idea of if you're bored you can help mummy with the sweeping or tidy your room whatever. Then the choice isn't tablet Vs boring stuff it's chores VS playing with my own toys. Tablets are very stimulating and instant gratification so it does become an addiction. Cold turkey or set times. Also, can they do age appropriate chores to win either pocket money or tablet time. My friend says that if her DC do xyz every day they can earn the time on a tablet. Eg half an hour of this, that and whatever will= half an hour of tablet time. In the real world we can't be on devices all the time so they're free time should be split between what the want to do and what they need to do. I did very boring but that's how I see things.

OhMyStarryEyedSurprise · 10/04/2022 11:10

Sound* sorry for the typos just on the train.

DeathMetalMum · 10/04/2022 11:11

Schedule. Can they tell the time? We generally allow 'screens' from about 4/4.30. Until dinner time so 5.30/6ish. Though dd1 gravitates to the living room slightly earlier often to be told to find something else to do and come back at 'X' time.
We also have no devices on a Saturday we started this in lockdown when dc were on them constantly for home schooling. They just go off and find stuff to do as they know they're not allowed - yesterday they played lego for several hours. We allowed devices for a few Saturdays recently as weather was horrible one dc had birthday party or had friends over etc and they started asking all day again so we said beck to no devices. First Saturday they both sulked a little but quickly got back into the schedule.

user1471481356 · 10/04/2022 11:12

I would just take it away for a few weeks. And when you eventually reintroduce it make sure there are strict boundaries around it

Mariposista · 10/04/2022 11:17

At this age they shouldn’t even have a tablet. Remove it and sell it.

SagaNorenLansrimMalmo · 10/04/2022 11:18

I’d go cold turkey and I wouldn’t allow it back - they got to a fairly severe end of the tablet dependence spectrum if they wouldn’t get in the pool at the swimming pool! You’ve seen that they are particularly susceptible to the tablet’s effects. So if you allow it back on a schedule, you’ll just end up back here again. Get rid. Maybe revisit tech once they’ve gone to secondary school.

DeathMetalMum · 10/04/2022 11:19

Also forgot to add if they don't find something to do when asked and 'loiter' or ask again before the time agreed, then they wait longer and loose 15/30 minutes of device time.

Original poster
TabletAddiction · 10/04/2022 11:22

@SagaNorenLansrimMalmo

I’d go cold turkey and I wouldn’t allow it back - they got to a fairly severe end of the tablet dependence spectrum if they wouldn’t get in the pool at the swimming pool! You’ve seen that they are particularly susceptible to the tablet’s effects. So if you allow it back on a schedule, you’ll just end up back here again. Get rid. Maybe revisit tech once they’ve gone to secondary school.
@SagaNorenLansrimMalmo I know I will have to reintroduce at some point as all homework for school is done on computers or tablet, they no longer send worksheets home it's all apps.
OP posts:
SagaNorenLansrimMalmo · 10/04/2022 11:25

So reintroduce it for homework only. And nothing else, and supervise while it’s being used for that. Or only allow homework to be done on a family laptop/PC if you’ve got one.

Schools are partly responsible in this tablet dependence if all homework requires technology. That’s completely unnecessary and causes problems for families who can’t afford the tech.

Threetulips · 10/04/2022 11:25

You can buy a gadget that links to each WiFi item at home and set limits and times it can be in homework mode or add extra for chore - you have an app and password / it automatically switches off!

Have a look - search parental controls

Kaw10 · 10/04/2022 11:32

No weaning. Cold turkey. Tablet disappears, find something else to do.

Boredom is not this terrible thing for kids, they need to learn how to creatively overcome it.

BungleandGeorge · 10/04/2022 11:36

I don’t think you can realistically expect a 7 year old to entertain themselves whilst you work. It’s very normal that they can’t do that and will frequently interrupt. Even more so if you’re the only other person in the house.

Original poster
TabletAddiction · 10/04/2022 11:48

@BungleandGeorge

I don’t think you can realistically expect a 7 year old to entertain themselves whilst you work. It’s very normal that they can’t do that and will frequently interrupt. Even more so if you’re the only other person in the house.
@BungleandGeorge I'm not asking for no interuptions, I'm asking them to sit in the same room as me and colour/do lego/play so I can get the last bit done, I'm happy to chat to them
OP posts:
Kaw10 · 10/04/2022 12:11

I'm not asking for no interuptions, I'm asking them to sit in the same room as me and colour/do lego/play so I can get the last bit done, I'm happy to chat to them

A 7 year old should absolutely be capable of that.

BungleandGeorge · 10/04/2022 12:56

Agree with others then you need strict parent controls, it is likely to be painful initially! What are they actually doing on the tablet? Are you supervising? I think the whole reliance on tablets etc during the pandemic has been really detrimental for many children. They’re very high stimulation and addictive and that can definitely affect behaviour. It’s no criticism of you as most people had no choice due to having to earn a living and school work being on line. Maybe have a word with school and say you’ve removed it for behavioural reasons can they give alternative homework. Apps are easy for them but at 7 I’d argue reading practice is enough homework anyway

user1471447924 · 10/04/2022 13:00

Just take it away. It’s not really that difficult. They’ll whinge initially but they’ll cope.

Original poster
TabletAddiction · 10/04/2022 13:37

@BungleandGeorge

Agree with others then you need strict parent controls, it is likely to be painful initially! What are they actually doing on the tablet? Are you supervising? I think the whole reliance on tablets etc during the pandemic has been really detrimental for many children. They’re very high stimulation and addictive and that can definitely affect behaviour. It’s no criticism of you as most people had no choice due to having to earn a living and school work being on line. Maybe have a word with school and say you’ve removed it for behavioural reasons can they give alternative homework. Apps are easy for them but at 7 I’d argue reading practice is enough homework anyway
@BungleandGeorge It's completely locked down in the sense they can't download anything on it without me knowing about it and approving it, they have games like Cbeebies and Sky Kids etc. Plus netflix and disney + which I allow them to watch through the TV but they prefer the tablet.

I've completely taken it away, and will email school after Easter to find out if there's another way to do homework

OP posts: