neighbour asking me to get my trees lopped

[ladylush]

AIBU in being irked that a neighbour who lives diagonally behind us knocked on my door the other day and asked if we could cut our tree? It is a Sycamore (actually there are two side by side) and it is established. It was here before we bought the house and was pruned back hard (18 months ago). The neighbour complained that she had no sunlight in her garden last summer because of the tree. It is not wide but it is tall (no leaves at the moment so only an issue in summer) - about 18ft. I told her that whilst it may be a nuisance for her, it is a benefit to us because it provides screening (which is great when we want to use our garden). In the winter she can see straight into our house from her bedroom window. I also told her that we would not be paying a tree surgeon to cut it every year. She then offered her to send round her son's friend (a tree surgeon) next week (who would do it as a favour for them) and that we would only have to contribute towards the cost of removing the branches. However, we discussed it and decided that we would prefer to employ a tree surgeon of our own at a time that suits us and that when we do get it cut back, we will not take as much off as she would want. I think if a sunny garden was that important to her she should have bought a house with a large garden with a southerly aspect instead of a west facing 35ft garden.

I am sweet as a dove. As any fule kno.

I was rather blunt but these tree issues become so entrenched, so much about 'not being pushed around' even when in fact fairly senisble solutions are being proposed.

Pointy, is your bark worse than your bite?

ladylush, you do seem to have already decided your position on this. AIBU was maybe not the right place to post?
I am feeling quite sorry for your neighbour btw. It seems you don't like being politely asked to do something at very little effort to yourself that would benefit another person enormously and not be much skin off your nose. That's a shame.

oh dear, blue. I actually Laughed Out Loud at that

You could consider turning over a new leaf.

Yes YABU and selfish imo.

So call me a bitch now.

Pointy I would like to apologise for my comment

angar - I did respond to a lot of the suggestions, so if I missed yours it wasn't cos I couldn't be bothered. Was it you who suggested a sail of some sort? I will try and take a photo of the tree/garden/show where the neighbour in question lives. The fact that the garden had trees was one of the things that attracted us to the house. An alternative would have to be more planting. Someone suggested getting rid and planting new smaller ones and I asked how long it would take for these to grow. I said I would be willing to remove one of them and grow some bamboo or other tall plant/tree which does not grow as tall as the current trees. I think though, that when she talks of the "tree" she probably means the two of them and thinks they are one.

very witty bluestocking

Littlebella - cross posted.

Ladylush, please consider that if you are not sure if there is even the possibility of a compromise, you may be thinking a little unreasonably at the moment. I think sometimes these situations become more complex and contentious in one's head than in reality - please talk to your neighbour one to one, face to face. Remember that compromise inherently involves loss as well as gain! But long term, the benefit of harmony. Good luck.

Lady - reading your last post: see, it would be so helpful to straighten out the details face to face - eg, one tree or two? Also, keep thinking of the other planting possibilities you might have open to you that will increase the sense of space within your garden without so much tree! You know, the flip side.

It would be kind and neighbourly of you to get it pruned. But you don't have to be kind or neighbourly if you don't want to be.

Walnut - it is true that I may be making assumptions. When she knocked on the door I was a bit taken aback. it was 8pm and my toddler was running around my legs trying to talk to the lady (so hardly ideal)She was quite pushy. She didn't offer to give us time to consider the issue. She tried to manipulate me into agreeing to let the man come around next week. I asked her if she could draft a letter/note indicating what she wanted done and we would have a look at it but instead she asked for our phone number and when I would be in for the man to come and do the work. I felt a bit annoyed with myself (not just her) tbh for allowing myself to feel strong-armed. I did mention that it was a difficult issue as she likes the bottom of our garden exposed to allow sun and we like it screened for privacy. She kinda ignored that comment

I really can understand where you are coming from. It is such a sensitive thing and she had preparation on her side so you are worried that you weren't assertive enough. However, you can put that to rights, just really think through what you would be happy doing. I hope you can resolve this without dispute and certainly without feeling pushed into doing something you are not happy with.

I have some sympathy with your neighbour. I used to live in a house with a 26ft garden east facing, my neighbours planted an olive tree immediately on the boundary line. It eventually over 10 years completely shaded my garden. They refused to prune it on a yearly basis, despite the fact that it grew like a weed. They also openely admitted that they were glad they had not planted it on the other side as it would have blocked their light!!

I do think that trees can reallly upset people and it would seem reasonable to suggest to your neighbour that you would like to see how it affects her this summer, but also that you will try to come to a compromise.

I have some sympathy with your neighbour. I used to live in a house with a 26ft garden east facing, my neighbours planted an olive tree immediately on the boundary line. It eventually over 10 years completely shaded my garden. They refused to prune it on a yearly basis, despite the fact that it grew like a weed. They also openely admitted that they were glad they had not planted it on the other side as it would have blocked their light!!

I do think that trees can really upset people and it would seem reasonable to suggest to your neighbour that you would like to see how it affects her this summer, but also that you will try to come to a compromise.

my neighbours tree was hanging over my sky dish and kept causing the sky to go off, so after her refusal(shes a RIGHT cow btw) DH got the ladders out the garage and cut it himself, (obviously it wasnt a big massive tree lol, more like a palm tree thingy)thing is your neighbour is within her rights to cut down any of your tree that is overlapping into her garden

You could also apply for a TPO (Tree Preservation Order) from the council yourself if it isn't already protected. I'm pretty sure it only covers actually cutting it down, I'm sure you would be able to trim it.

Neighbours can only trim stuff that hangs into their own garden karen999 not just lop at people's trees because they cast a bit of shade on the house/garden, that's illegal!

Loopy she would be if it overhung her garden but our garden is two gardens away from hers - probably about 50ft away.

awayfromhome - how often did they prune the tree?

the lady in our house before us refused to prune a huge tree in her garden at the neighbour's request so he hopped over the fence and cut it down completely himself. This led to a nasty dispute and solicitor's letters flying about. Not nice.

Sycamores are cr*p trees. They have no place in gardens IMO. There are a fair few round here, my lawn is full of seeds and my garden full of farking seedling trees.

Cut them down and put something decent in.

louloulouise, with a TPO in place you need permission to do any work on the tree.

Why on earth would the council slap a TPO on a young sycamore in a small back garden?!?

If the sycamores are 18 foot high and her garden is 50 feet away, I don't see how it can cast any shade on her garden, unless you live in the north pole or something

I cut my boundary trees every year - the ones that are on the side where the neighbour requests it!

At the bottom of my garden I have 2 100-foot Leylandii which are exactly TEN FEET away from the new houses that were built there two years ago . No one's mentioned it yet but it must be like living in a CAVE.

Ladylush - I co have some sympathy for your neighbour, simply because of the fact that it has taken us several months to pluck up the courage to approach new neighbours about a tree that is planted at the foot of their garden but is about 6 feet from our house (their property backs on the the side of our's). I know it's a different situation since in our case the tree is actually becoming a danger to our property - one good strong wind and I fear we'll be getting a bit more greenery in our front room! - but no one wants to rock the boat with a neighbour and your tress must really be bothering her for her to have come round.

Fortunately in our case neighbours were lovely and agreed that tree is dangerous.

Hope you get this resolved, not nice having to worry about things like this in your own home.

Yes I think it's a different matter if your tree is encroaching on someone else's garden. These trees are two gardens away from hers. They will not be a concern for her now cos they are bare, in summer we will go and look in her garden to see what the situation is.