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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nursery should pay?

87 replies

Oneshoetwoshoe · 07/04/2022 22:13

NC for this.

Our one year old came home from nursery with only one of her two very first shoes. The nursery was expecting Ofsted the next day so had had a huge clear out. They have subsequently searched high and low and emailed all the parents.

They're a lovely nursery, our baby is happy there and we're really lucky with our baby's key workers. They have both contacted us and offered to buy her a new pair together, which is really kind. However, we emailed the nursery, concerned that they appeared to be having to do so out of their own money, when we thought it was something that the nursery should pay, as a company, rather than what would be an hour's wage for two of their employees. Especially as one is very junior and the other pregnant.

Nursery have replied, telling us to clearly label our baby's clothes and that it isn't their policy to pay for missing property, as it isn't with other nurseries or schools. I get that with schools, when the children are responsible for their own things and I would never assume so with clothes, bags or coats etc, but shoes? I also don't really see how labelling would have helped in this case.

Either way, I don't know enough- really happy to be told IABU. I'm just sad we've lost one of her very first shoes, sad that we might have to buy more unnecessarily, given our financial situation and frustrated that it doesn't feel like the nursery are valuing their staff or responsibilities.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oneshoetwoshoe · 07/04/2022 22:15

Also, meant to say, when they said about schools- I wouldn't expect my one year old to be responsible for her own shoes, that, I thought, would be on them.

OP posts:
FTEngineerM · 07/04/2022 22:16

Have you never lost a shoe?
I understand they are being paid to care for the child but it’s only a shoe.

I’d just leave it tbh.

Sherrystrull · 07/04/2022 22:18

Only send your child to nursery in clothes you don't mind being lost or ruined.

JennyWren87 · 07/04/2022 22:19

Just buy seconds hand because you'll lose more shoes. I get Clarks First Walkers second hand on Vinted for a few quid.

Beees · 07/04/2022 22:20

Honestly they grow out of shoes so quickly at that age I would have just brought a new pair without even considering that the staff or the nursery would pay for a replacement pair.

Mrsdoubtfireswig · 07/04/2022 22:20

Nursery clothing / shoes get wrecked ime - paint, messy play etc. And I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve had to hunt for missing hoodies. I just buy cheap stuff that I don’t mind either getting wrecked or lost, try not to send anything you wouldn’t mind not coming back if you can

wlakhao · 07/04/2022 22:20

I wouldn't expect nursery to pay (and def not the key workers), as others have said don't send them in anything nice.

LeastofLeicester · 07/04/2022 22:21

Yea, you need to just suck it up and buy yourself. Kids are expensive partly because things get lost. They were really nice to offer to split with you, most wouldn't. I would never expect the company to accept responsibility though.

Giraffesandbottoms · 07/04/2022 22:22

Don’t buy second hand shoes - they are moulded to the feet of the previous owner and that’s not actually good. Shoes are one of the things you definitely should not buy second hand. And should buy quality.

I think YANBU. They lost the shoe and should replace it!

2pinkginsplease · 07/04/2022 22:22

As en early years practitioner it is so difficult to make sure every child leaves with everything they come in with, we have lost shoes which have turned up in another child’s bag we also have bin bags full of hoodies and jumpers that no one has claimed or asked about,

We have replaced some childrens items of clothing depending on how demanding the parent is. However I’m sure this comes out of nursery money,

However I am amazed at how much stuff comes to nursery unlabelled. We have 82 children in our nursery every day. It’s impossible to know who every item belongs to,

As a parent I always labelled nursery clothing and sent mine in with older clothes so if they lost something it didn’t matter .

mummyh2016 · 07/04/2022 22:24

I echo a PP, send your child to nursery in things that you won't be bothered if they're stained or lost. It's not great they lost the shoe but I wouldn't expect them to replace.

SafelySoftly · 07/04/2022 22:27

Wow, of course YANBU. The nursery should pay not the staff. I wouldn’t be asking for a new hoody day but a pair of shoes when they admit they were tidying up for Ofsted is wrong 🙄

I’d actually be inclined to contact Ofsted and mention this is how they treat their staff. Really awful and id think twice about the nursery.

transformandriseup · 07/04/2022 22:31

I think I may have felt the same as OP when I first sent my baby to nursery especially as shoes are so expensive but now she is almost three her clothes are forever getting covered in paint or come back with holes in. I wouldn't expect anyone to replace anything lost or damaged when I can just send her in old clothes.

gingergiraffe · 07/04/2022 22:35

Personally, I agree with what others have said about not sending your child to nursery with clothes that you would worry about being spoilt or lost, but shoes? These are expensive if you get them fitted and I can’t understand why just the one would go missing. Surely the staff or parent checked the child at the end of the day? I think the actual nursery should pay to replace them.

Mummy1608 · 07/04/2022 22:39

You can get shoe labels. I would label everything from now on.

We've also lost stuff at nursery but only when it was unlabelled. I still don't label everything but I label stuff I don't want to lose

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 07/04/2022 22:40

@Giraffesandbottoms

Don’t buy second hand shoes - they are moulded to the feet of the previous owner and that’s not actually good. Shoes are one of the things you definitely should not buy second hand. And should buy quality.

I think YANBU. They lost the shoe and should replace it!

See I don't believe this, buying expensive shoes as they are better for your feet is I think a marketing ploy. We were designed to not wear shoes, lots of issues we have created by wearing shoes.

But op, no I don't think nursery should pay

Bunnycat101 · 07/04/2022 22:43

So in all of the years my two have been at nursery they have never lost a single item. School and summer camps we’ve lost tons of stuff especially cardigans, hats, water bottles etc. I would be really cross about a shoe going missing from a child in the baby room but I would not be allowing key workers to pay for it.

Tumbleweed101 · 07/04/2022 22:45

Labelling really helps everyone. If your child is there for a long day they may not be with the same staff you handed them to at the end of the day. I often end up with children I don't care for during the main part of the day at the end of the day and have no idea whose coat/shoes is who. I just hope my colleagues have kept everything in the right place.

nightsoutasap · 07/04/2022 22:47

I own a day nursery and I would replace as they have clearly been thrown away in error. In fact, I recently replaced a pair (of bloody expensive) shoes as a child wet themselves which went in the shoes. Obviously not our fault, but the goodwill gesture goes a long way

Giraffesandbottoms · 07/04/2022 22:47

@mrsrobinsonshandprints

We are designed not to wear shoes and more expensive ones have better measures in place to mimic what the foot needs more, as opposed to cheap shoes which have flat soles and no support. Expensive shoes have more of a shape to them and more support to help

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 07/04/2022 22:49

Is your baby walking outside?? Until then we didn’t have shoes anyway.

AppleKatie · 07/04/2022 22:53

Whilst i agree that you should expect things to come out of nursery covered in paint and occasionally wee! Water bottles and cardigans get lost etc…

Shoes not so much. They should be taken off a one year old whilst they are inside and securely stored for when they are needed. Shoes are expensive and necessary and a 1 year old is not developmentally capable of caring for them themselves. They must have been taken off by an adult and not stored correctly - therefore the nursery is at fault and should pay.

froi · 07/04/2022 22:55

Whilst I generally agree with 'don't sent them to nursery in anything you would care if it got ruined', shoes are different.

If a child is at nursery on a regular basis they should be wearing properly fitted shoes, which are unlikely to be 'cheap' or 'something you'd be happy to lose'. What's the point in getting properly fitted supportive shoes, and sending them in wearing ill-fitted cheap shoes, just in case they get lost? Especially when nursery can be up to 5 days a week- they would spend 5 days in crappy shoes and only 2 days in proper shoes.

So I'm with you OP, that the principle is rubbish. I would bite the bullet and replace them myself rather than ask the staff to though.

froi · 07/04/2022 22:58

@nightsoutasap

I own a day nursery and I would replace as they have clearly been thrown away in error. In fact, I recently replaced a pair (of bloody expensive) shoes as a child wet themselves which went in the shoes. Obviously not our fault, but the goodwill gesture goes a long way
That's very kind but I would say totally overkill! (Unless the child wet themselves due to negligence or forgetting a nappy for some reason, which I assume it wasn't!)
AWombleScorned · 07/04/2022 22:59

YABU