Deeply concerned about Child Safety in Bristol

[MatthewJTaylor]

From May 5th to May 8th 2022, the Tobacco Factory Theatres in Bristol is having performances of "The Family Sex Show".
This show is aimed at children 5 years old and up.
The performers involved get naked.
The discussion with the children is on sex, sexuality and sexual pleasure.

I cannot imagine brining a 5 year old child to a theatre where people will to to her/him about sex and show their naked bodies to her/him.

Am I the crazy one?

Sources:
The Family Sex Show website
Listing at The Tobacco Factory Theatres

@Throughabushbackwards

there's no actual sex on stage if you bother to read the description

This image clearly shows simulated sex, or I guess it's "outercourse" (term from their own glossary).

Fucking HELL.

Why is this deemed acceptable?

@FuckeryOmbudsman
But do pause and ask yourself - why wouldn't I want my DC to have age appropriate information? Why is it different/worse in a theatre than in a classroom? Am I the one who would find it difficult/embarrassing? How do I handle questions about relationships, bodies and sex?

How can it be age specific if it is aimed at all ages from 5 up, all in one show?

I’m not a parent either but fuck me, I know a safeguarding risk when I see one.

Me too.

@Lockheart

I think you're misreprenting a tad..

This show is aimed at children 5 years old and up.

Not quite, it's aimed at all ages from 5+.

The performers involved get naked.

At one point for a couple of minutes if they feel comfortable (this is explicitly stated, if you'll pardon the pun, in the FAQs).

The discussion with the children is on sex, sexuality and sexual pleasure.

It's a theatre show, there are no sit down chats with the children.

This

But do pause and ask yourself - why wouldn't I want my DC to have age appropriate information? Why is it different/worse in a theatre than in a classroom? Am I the one who would find it difficult/embarrassing? How do I handle questions about relationships, bodies and sex?

It’s not about who finds it difficult or embarrassing, or about how you handle the questions. A five year old won’t have questions about relationship, bodies and sex because they’re not old enough to grasp the concept - unless of course they’re introduced to it. If I ‘pause to ask myself about age appropriate information’, this would still not be my idea of it in a million years. And to my knowledge the difference between the two is that in the theatre you have actors, who in my opinion have their own agenda, as opposed to trained teachers in the classroom - fully clothed. Get a grip.

@Toseland

I’ve not had a chance to read the whole thread but why have they chosen the age 5+ ? This seems really odd to me. What is in the show that under 5s shouldn’t see that a 5+ can see?

@Toseland There is the attention span element. Younger children will not sit still for a long amount of time and cant be rationalised or bribed with food etc. when they are done they are done. If the adult is paying money for the tickets there is a good chance they wont pay a lot for a longer show because they will miss the ending.

@Georgyporky

Simple answer is DON'T GO.

Oh right, because my own kids are the only ones that deserve safeguarding, not all children then?

@Throughabushbackwards

there's no actual sex on stage if you bother to read the description

This image clearly shows simulated sex, or I guess it's "outercourse" (term from their own glossary).

ffs & what @StandUpStraight said, it’s all bloody crackers.

@VerbenaGirl

From the FAQs:

“The structure for The Family Sex Show is based on School of Sexuality Education’s age appropriate Relationships and Sex Education curriculum and is in line with NSPCC research.”

“It’s about sexual health, and mental health.
It's about consent and safety.
It's about accepting that you are you and you are enough - that we are all different and that that’s a brilliant thing, because we are also all equal.”

Yes....but the School of Sexuality Education’s age appropriate Relationships and Sex Education curriculum starts at KS3, not 5 year olds!

It may well be that this show is actually pretty 'safe' and tame. But the website and marketing, images, confusion between the podcasts and the show (and respective ages) has not been constructed with enough care to demonstrate any kind of knowledge, experience or care by the company.

I gather the 'glossary' is mainly there to support the discussions in the podcasts. But then why does it include theatre language and terms alongside 'pegging'?

You cannot blame people for reacting to what they see.

If indeed the show is about what you quote then all the supporting info should clarify and lead to that conclusion. And at the VERY LEAST the promised info about the nudity should be there.

If there are misunderstandings the company have only themselves to blame.

This is marketed direct to parents. They have made a spectacular balls up of it.

Oh this sounds wonderful. What a great resource to start a positive conversation with children about their bodies. Nothing on the website sounds remotely concerning if you actually bother to read it — sounds like it will do a great job at teaching kids about important issues like consent and diversity of gender. Thanks to the original poster for sharing!

Please tell me this is sarcasm. Why does a five year old need to learn about consent, diversity or anything else to do with sex ffs ?!! You used the term ‘kids’ yourself - In what world is it even acceptable, much less ‘wonderful’ to teach kids about sex in a theatre involving naked strangers and discussion of material totally age inappropriate. Wakey wakey - these people have an agenda and it’s people like you who enable it.

@MorganKitten oh come on, whether there are "sit down chats" with the children is not the point. The point is that this is another example of the wider agenda of normalising the overt sexual grooming of children in society. Not just affecting the children unlucky enough to be present in the room for an operatic ode to the clitoris. The most important thing about this, for those making/promoting/defending this work of subversive art, is the(retrograde) change in the culture which it represents.

There is the attention span element. Younger children will not sit still for a long amount of time and cant be rationalised or bribed with food etc. when they are done they are done. If the adult is paying money for the tickets there is a good chance they wont pay a lot for a longer show because they will miss the ending.

Given the content of the ‘show’ I would imagine missing the ending would be something of a blessing !!

”Use pleasure as a vehicle for consent - knowing why we might say yes so we know when to say no."

That is beyond terrifying. It could be fine if it feels nice? You can consent to something you don’t really understand because you’ve been told you might enjoy it? No.

@Beowulfa

If you're putting on a production entitled "The Family Sex Show" you need your website to be as clear as possible about the content in terms of language, nudity, age appropriateness and links to the national curriculum. You would need to show what safeguarding has been undertaken as you must expect questions will be asked. If your company does similar shows aimed at different age groups, you would need to be crystal clear about how the content varies.

The fact that the production and website appear to be incomplete suggests that, even with the best intent, this is the work of a bunch of half-arsed amateurs who shouldn't be involved in any kind of role with children.

Repeating this excellent post. The lack of info seems to be a feature, not a bug.

Who are the School of Sexuality Education? A consultancy. A charity. Not researchers or educationalists. If they’re campaigning to share their beliefs within the law, that’s fine, but their campaigns should be exclusively directed at adults. Not kids.

Just because its some woke middle class theatre troupe doesn't lessen the creepy paedo factor. It's just as creepy groomy and inappropriate as dave from the pub flashing kids. More so in fact, it's obvious street flashing js wrong but dress it up in artsy bs and people accept it apparently.

This.

SingToTheSky

”Use pleasure as a vehicle for consent - knowing why we might say yes so we know when to say no."

That is beyond terrifying. It could be fine if it feels nice? You can consent to something you don’t really understand because you’ve been told you might enjoy it? No.

I agree. That’s how children get groomed.

1. They ‘like’ the attention.
2. They ‘like’ the sweets/ other favours.
3. They ‘like’ a little hug…… then it’s just tickling and fun….. then the tickling moves down their tummy, and it’s a funny tickle feeling. Then they feel that what begins to happen is all their fault because they ‘liked it’.

This happened to someone in my family.

@CavernousScream

I don’t really know how anyone can have a proper opinion until they’ve finished developing the show. I assume the glossary is aimed at parents not 5 year olds, who are mostly still working on CVC words. My oldest child did their first few years at school abroad, in a country where sex education begins at 4 and they did discuss consent at 5. But in an entirely age appropriate way eg. you don’t cuddle your friends unless they want to cuddle you, make sure everyone is enjoying the game etc. If it’s that sort of approach I’d be fine with it. But the website does make it sound like it may not be that carefully done, the tone certainly sounds like they want to be more explicit, which wouldn’t be age appropriate.

Simply because anyone who says out loud that they want to discuss sex, sexual pleasure, possibly whilst being naked for a while, in front of an audience where 5 year olds have been explicitly invited, sets off every safeguarding alarm bell in existance.

What the content is, ends up, is of absolutely no consequence.

This is being advertised as a public show about sex, for kids.

So, where is the safeguarding? Each and every performer? Stage crew etc etc? Where is the NSPCC input, proof of all being acceptable by the NSPCC, not just someone's uneducated opinion of their own genius - remember, it hasn't been completed yet.

It may well end up quite tame. no nudity, no sexual pleasure, nothing but another Sesame St rip off. But that isn't how it is being advertised.

Safeguarding proetects against intent, potential. So none of this should have been advertised until all possible questions had been answered.

Then again, they are the rainbow dildo butt monkey people. Who the fuck knows why they are still in business?

Wrong on so many levels..

@Rosscameasdoody

But do pause and ask yourself - why wouldn't I want my DC to have age appropriate information? Why is it different/worse in a theatre than in a classroom? Am I the one who would find it difficult/embarrassing? How do I handle questions about relationships, bodies and sex?

It’s not about who finds it difficult or embarrassing, or about how you handle the questions. A five year old won’t have questions about relationship, bodies and sex because they’re not old enough to grasp the concept - unless of course they’re introduced to it. If I ‘pause to ask myself about age appropriate information’, this would still not be my idea of it in a million years. And to my knowledge the difference between the two is that in the theatre you have actors, who in my opinion have their own agenda, as opposed to trained teachers in the classroom - fully clothed. Get a grip.

Exactly. In my experience, children tend to naturally start asking questions about things they're ready to process and have the capacity to understand. When a child starts asking questions in a way that shows a knowledge of sex far beyond what is generally considered appropriate for their age group, it should be a signal to the adults around them that they're being groomed or abused. It's one of the reasons that I always got children to write questions on post-its in sex ed, because sometimes a question will raise massive concerns and you don't necessarily want that aired out loud in front of the whole class.

This is a more minor point given the grave concerns I have about this show, but I actually think it could be frightening for small children to watch something like this. I can remember learning about sex for the first time and feeling really quite upset, because I was still very much a child and horrified by the idea of intercourse. I would have been very, very upset if I had been introduced to the idea that when I grew up, someone might want to do all manner of other things to me. I can still remember being reassured by my mother and her telling me that sex is for adults, but that I could always say no when I was an adult if I wanted to. Sex education should be delivered in a safe, comforting environment by adults that children know and trust- a familiar teacher or a parent in a home or classroom. Not by strangers, in a theatre, surrounded by other strangers. Many of whom may well have booked tickets because they found the idea of watching small children being 'educated' about sex arousing.

@Slothtoes

Who are the School of Sexuality Education? A consultancy. A charity. Not researchers or educationalists. If they’re campaigning to share their beliefs within the law, that’s fine, but their campaigns should be exclusively directed at adults. Not kids.

They seem to save themselves for KS3 and above

Recommend Netflix’s Sex Education series; have worksheets etc aimed at 16+

schoolofsexed.org/programme

Even if it turns out that the content of the show is much more tame than the material on the website (and this should be absolutely crystal clear), I can only imagine the type of people who would love the idea of attending a sex ed show aimed at families with young children.

I wonder who (with any credibility) approved the School of Sexuality Education ‘curriculum’ that this show is based on, as being appropriate for kids?

schoolofsexed.org/team
The School of Sexuality Education‘s partners and supporters listed on that link, shows Girl guiding UK.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4408927-safeguarding-issues-in-the-girl-guiding-movement

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4483147-Girl-Guiding-latest

And as posted upthread apparently this show also looks to the NSPCC who obviously do some great work- but who also have had some lapses of judgement of their own:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3611125-AIBU-to-say-that-if-you-work-in-child-protection-you-shouldnt-post-pictures-of-yourself-wanking-at-work-in-fetish-gear

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3714849-Sacked-by-the-NSPCC-on-12th-August

Its really worrying that even big and trusted organisations seem to throw out tried and tested safeguarding thinking quite so easily.

I’d be looking to the local safeguarding team for guidance before hosting the show, if I was this theatre. Theatres aren’t going to be child sex education or child safeguarding experts but they still have a duty to children and the public.