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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My word should have been enough

341 replies

EthelsAuntie · 07/04/2022 09:37

A couple of weeks ago, I was admitted to hospital. I had severe abdominal pain, no appetite, being violently sick, couldnt even keep water down. I hadn't been to the toilet for a wee or a poo for at least 24hrs.
The dr wanted to send me for an x-ray of my tummy but wouldn't send me until I got a confirmed negative on a pregnancy test.
I repeatedly told them that I wasn't pregnant. I knew that I wasn't pregnant. However because I'm married they said they needed to do the test. This seriously held up proceedings. They had to put me on a drip. They probably would have done that anyway. But they had to wait for hours until I was able to go for a wee. Then they did a test on it and only then did they request the X-ray because lo behold I was not pregnant.
It turned out to be extremely serious and I needed emergency surgery that took 5 hours.
AIBU to have felt very strongly that they should have taken my word for it. Make me sign something to say that I wasn't pregnant. Fine. Don't just dismiss me because I'm of childbearing age.
I also wonder what would have happened had I been pregnant. Neither I nor a fetus would have survived what the actual problem was had it been left untreated.
It was an awful time and I have to say the constant asking and not taking my word for it did not help. I was feeling like shit. I am a strong, intelligent woman in my 40s but I felt I didn't have a voice to be listened to.

OP posts:
Phobiaphobic · 07/04/2022 12:57

Also men cannot get pregnant. It is biologically impossible.

@Kennykenkencat Thanks for the info, but I am aware of that.

Ghostsofhumor · 07/04/2022 13:00

I used to admin in a+e
I've seen positive pregnancy tests on people who have sworn they aren't. People who have been sexually assaulted without their knowledge, people who have sworn they've never had sex, horrendously young people, people reporting celibacy or long time without sex, people in relationships where they won't disclose there's a possibility because they are in Denial (including lesbians!), people who have been told they are infertile before and people on long acting contraception eg husband has a vasectomy (which has failed without knowledge)

Some of the people were consciously lying because of multiple reasons, others were completely shocked by the news

Pregnancy related complications is always a possibility.

Given my experience I'd not rule out pregnancy in a nun

MagneticRubberDucks · 07/04/2022 13:00

You can definitely refuse the pregnancy test, I think it’s at the DRs discretion though (although you should absolutely ask for a second opinion if they refuse)

I had to have an X-ray a couple of weeks ago and I said I definitely wasn’t pregnant, they insisted they needed to do a test anyway but I refused and they did the X-ray anyway.

DropYourSword · 07/04/2022 13:02

@Soubriquet

Did someone seriously say about Mary in this day and age?

Ridiculous

No. They said it very tongue in cheek. Not sure how people are taking it seriously!!
Orangelover · 07/04/2022 13:03

I used to work in surgery and before any other investigations for abdo pain no Dr would want to see a woman until pregnancy is ruled out. Despite the obvious risks of drugs, x-rays etc it's also to make sure something gynae/pregnancy related is not the cause. It's literally the first thing on the pathway. However, if it was a concern and you couldn't provide a urine sample I'm not sure why a beta HCG couldn't have been added to your bloods.

And yes lots of staff who work in healthcare will have a story of patients who state they're absolutely not pregnant but then low and behold...

It's not personal OP. Hope you're feeling better.

godmum56 · 07/04/2022 13:03

@Tabitha005

The insistence on pregnancy testing, but taking your word for it if you tell them you're not allergic to anything and not on any prescribed/unprescribed medication/drugs has always baffled me, too.
they can't check those so easily.
Sarahcoggles · 07/04/2022 13:05

I had a patient (adult, no SEN) who swore she wasn't pregnant, no way she could be, it was impossible etc. I sought to clarify her reasons for her certainty, and she said she knew she wasn't pregnant because she didn't want a child yet. She was pregnant.

I also recall a colleague telling me about a patient in a side room on their ward who'd been in for weeks following a serious RTA, and had numerous Xrays during her admission (pregnancy had been ruled out). One day she said she didn't want an Xray in case she was pregnant. Turns out her husband had visited the day before and they'd had sex!

People are strange and say strange things!

Furmummy · 07/04/2022 13:06

They have to check, if they hadn’t and you were you would be complaining the other way round. I used to work at a hospital and have seen it happen … sorry YABU

Original poster
EthelsAuntie · 07/04/2022 13:08

I love this board. Good job I'm not overly offended. So many assumptions being made about me. I don't mean to sound aggressive. I just wanted to get my point across.
It was very serious. I had an obstruction, a perforated bowel, a few other smaller fistulas and sepsis. It was open surgery, and I now have a stoma. It will be a long time before I'm fully recovered. Maybe that sounds dramatic. It was pretty dramatic and scary.
I'm still processing the whole situation as it came out of the blue. I've been very lucky and should make a good recovery but will possibly need more surgery to reverse the stoma.
I just wondered if anyone else felt that perhaps that guidance needs looking at. I accept that they were following guidelines but when I was rolling around in pain, I just felt like it was a waste of time.

OP posts:
Sarahcoggles · 07/04/2022 13:08

I've seen people on MN being shocked that contraception isn't 100% effective. No one can be certain they're not pregnant unless they have had a hysterectomy/oophorectomy or no kind of sexual contact with a man.

SoyaChai · 07/04/2022 13:10

if you had been pregnant and the procedure caused a miscarriage you would be devastated had you known or not.

That assumes the baby would have been wanted though

firsttimemama182 · 07/04/2022 13:11

Abdominal pain that is that serious could be a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. This usually happens before most people know they are pregnant. It's part of the investigations for serious abdominal pain in a woman of childbearing age and always, always, always needs to be ruled out. That's why you needed a test.

Tabitha005 · 07/04/2022 13:13

@godmum56 no, but the repercussions of being administered medication that you're allergic to is probably just as serious of not knowing you're pregnant in many situations.

What I mean is, the policies/procedures place this massive importance on knowing whether or not a woman is pregnant, but allow for a simple tick of a box when questioned about allergies and reactions to medications and drugs. To me, the two seem just as important as one another and yet your word is good enough for one, but not the other. It's always struck me as strange.

HowIsItMarchAlready · 07/04/2022 13:15

@KrisAkabusi

Of course they had to check. Women can be mistaken, in denial or just lying. A duty of care requires them to find out for sure.
this.
Cakesnbiscuit · 07/04/2022 13:15

Why the hell didn’t they just do a blood test? They would have need the routine blood data anyway and that can tell them if your pregnant or not. Much more reliable than a urine dip anyway.

I think they need to rule it out as many women don’t realise they are pregnant but just do a quick blood test!

Bettyboopawoop · 07/04/2022 13:21

If they diddnt check and it turned out you were pregnant they would probably get in trouble.

SVRT19674 · 07/04/2022 13:22

I am very amused by the people on here telling the OP she is unreasonable when she has had a HYSTERECTOMY!!!! Being pregnant is completely IMPOSSIBLE, they would not be taking her word for it they would be reading her notes.
A surgical nurse above explains they do it because of the legal docs they have to sign at the op theatre which do not include the possibility I see of "·test not necessary as patient does not have the necessary equipment for a pregnancy to even be possible".
I have never ever had a test before an op, they have asked me and that´s that

Ghostsofhumor · 07/04/2022 13:25

@SoyaChai

if you had been pregnant and the procedure caused a miscarriage you would be devastated had you known or not.

That assumes the baby would have been wanted though

Regardless of if a babys wanted

Can you imagine if OP was out on the table, and they discovered she was pregnant and completed the surgery or embarked on a course of action that terminated the pregnancy?

Even if someone told you they were adamant they didn't want another baby, or you were aware the only way it was conceived was via sexual assault eg. If patient states they have no knowledge of sex occurring.... No Dr would wake someone up and say

"Hello, we discovered you were pregnant and assumed you wouldn't want it so continued on with the surgery"

Jalepenojello · 07/04/2022 13:26

YABU. Patients lie all the time. ALL the time. They were doing their job.

Greatdomestic · 07/04/2022 13:34

I have had to have one despite at the time being over 50 with only one ovary.

anniegun · 07/04/2022 13:35

yabu

girlmom21 · 07/04/2022 13:35

@Cakesnbiscuit

Why the hell didn’t they just do a blood test? They would have need the routine blood data anyway and that can tell them if your pregnant or not. Much more reliable than a urine dip anyway.

I think they need to rule it out as many women don’t realise they are pregnant but just do a quick blood test!

Costs more and takes longer to process, probably
Crimesean · 07/04/2022 13:36

You've clearly never worked in A&E - you honestly wouldn't believe the number of people who lie about very basic stuff like this. "Oh no, there is zero possibility I could be pregnant" - then it turns out that they are, and they admit to a one night stand or similar "but I didn't think I could get pregnant from that, it was only once!".

SoyaChai · 07/04/2022 13:38

if you had been pregnant and the procedure caused a miscarriage you would be devastated had you known or not.

That assumes the baby would have been wanted though

Regardless of if a babys wanted

No? I wouldn't care if a medical procedure made me miscarry when I didn't know I was pregnant, because I just would have aborted the baby had I known anyway, and wouldn't want the baby, a miscarriage during a procedure would just be two birds one stone tbh.

So no, the comment did assume that if you found out you were unknowingly pregnant and miscarried due to the medical procedure, you would be "devastated". Why would you be devastated if you didn't want the baby?

Theunamedcat · 07/04/2022 13:38

@Jalepenojello

YABU. Patients lie all the time. ALL the time. They were doing their job.
They could look at her notes and see she had a hysterectomy like she was telling them instead they delayed treatment how is that doing there job