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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband keeps turning off my Alexa

122 replies

HalleBre · 06/04/2022 20:01

I have an Alexa in the bedroom. I use it for my alarm and to play music.

My husband keeps turning it off without telling me because he thinks it's "listening to us."

I've agreed to not having one in any other room. But, I enjoy having it in the bedroom and sometimes rely on it to wake me up in the morning.

Every time I speak to it, it's been turned off.

Aibu to be pissed off??

OP posts:
Mumoblue · 06/04/2022 20:05

YANBU to be annoyed because he should have a proper discussion with you about it, but he’s not wrong about it listening to you.

FatOaf · 06/04/2022 20:06

My husband keeps turning it off without telling me because he thinks it's "listening to us."

It is. That's the point of it. I definitely wouldn't want one switched on all the time.

britneyisfree · 06/04/2022 20:06

Yes YABU.

We have two of the little shits in our house but only in the last year as I refused to get one.

DH didn't get one until we were both in agreement. I enjoy using it now but it's not right to force it on someone who doesn't want one. Horrid things!!!

YoComoManzanas · 06/04/2022 20:07

I think your husbands right to privacy in the bedroom trumps your right to alexa in the bedroom.

Original poster
HalleBre · 06/04/2022 20:08

He's never in the bedroom though. He doesn't use it. We don't have discussions in there. We don't say anything interesting!

OP posts:
MatureStudentToBeMaybe · 06/04/2022 20:08

YABU to have one on in what I presume is his bedroom without his consent

CherieBabySpliffUp · 06/04/2022 20:08

You are both unreasonable. You for having an Alexa in the first place and him for switching it off without having a conversation with you about his reasoning.

Concestor · 06/04/2022 20:09

I refuse to have one. They do listen to you all the time and i wouldn't want one in the bedroom either. Get an alarm clock.

HeddaGarbled · 06/04/2022 20:11

He’s right.

Original poster
HalleBre · 06/04/2022 20:12

He's a prepper and believes the government is corrupt that there will be a nuclear war. He has bought gas masks and years worth of long life food. Maybe that's skewing my view 😢

OP posts:
Blueeyedgirl21 · 06/04/2022 20:13

He sounds fucking nuts

FatOaf · 06/04/2022 20:13

He's a prepper and believes the government is corrupt that there will be a nuclear war.

He's right about at least one of those things, too.

PinkSyCo · 06/04/2022 20:14

I turn mine off when I’m not using it too. Use your phone for an alarm.

AnastasiaRomanov · 06/04/2022 20:14

@FatOaf

My husband keeps turning it off without telling me because he thinks it's "listening to us."

It is. That's the point of it. I definitely wouldn't want one switched on all the time.

This. I turn it off when I’m not using it. I only using it in the kitchen when I’m cooking. I certainly wouldn’t want one in the bedroom.
Original poster
HalleBre · 06/04/2022 20:14

Thanks for the honest replies. You're probably right in regards to the Alexa. I think it's just tipped me over the edge tonight.

OP posts:
Patchbatch · 06/04/2022 20:16

He is correct it is always listening. I'd hate to have one in the house let alone in the bedroom, can't you just get an alarm clock?

Lipsandlashes · 06/04/2022 20:18

Ugh! My DH turns off my Alexa all the time too (his reasoning is that it is using unnecessary electricity) . It drives me bloody mad

theemmadilemma · 06/04/2022 20:20

Honestly if you watch The Social Dilemma it shows how much AI learns from your internet usage. It probably gleans just as much useful and insightful information from his browsing.

Brefugee · 06/04/2022 20:21

He sleeps in that room? he is right not to even want one in the house, tbh.
Why do you have the right to inflict an open microphone on him? (having said that: does he use a smartphone?)

SpaceyCake · 06/04/2022 20:22

Yeah he's right. I used to like Alexa but then found out that they do listen to us so we started turning it off when not in use. It was a faff so in the end we just chucked the whole thing. Can't say I miss it really. The government is totally corrupt too so he's not wrong there either.

I can see why you would feel annoyed though as he keeps doing something you don't want him to do.

loudbatperson · 06/04/2022 20:24

I wouldn't have one in my bedroom (or house, they are not my thing). I think you cannot unilaterally decide to bring a device like that into the house.

Many people do not the premise of them or the vulnerabilities that exist in them.

Original poster
HalleBre · 06/04/2022 20:24

Yes, he has a smartphone. He doesn't have any social media though because he thinks he will be tracked.

OP posts:
ShadowPuppets · 06/04/2022 20:24

I’m with @theemmadilemma. No, I don’t like it, but frankly Those Who Must Not Be Named will be garnering far more from my half hour of phone scrolling than from the Alexa in our bedroom. And it’s a dream for white noise when we have babies sleeping in with us. So frankly in the grand scheme of data collection, I worry about it far less than most of the other devices in my life.

bellac11 · 06/04/2022 20:25

I wont have them on in our house, OH bought quite a few of them and I wont have them on. I cant stand the fact that they keep glowing and bleeping and announcing things but equally it feels wrong

Awful product

Original poster
HalleBre · 06/04/2022 20:25

We both agreed to having it on the house. We had two.

Then he suddenly decided he didn't like it and that was that.

OP posts: