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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband keeps turning off my Alexa

122 replies

HalleBre · 06/04/2022 20:01

I have an Alexa in the bedroom. I use it for my alarm and to play music.

My husband keeps turning it off without telling me because he thinks it's "listening to us."

I've agreed to not having one in any other room. But, I enjoy having it in the bedroom and sometimes rely on it to wake me up in the morning.

Every time I speak to it, it's been turned off.

Aibu to be pissed off??

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 07/04/2022 01:32

Is your oh, an intelligence services, personnel ?

Theoneandonlyjrae · 07/04/2022 01:39

It does actually record small parts of conversations without the wake word being used. I found out my ex was cheating through my alexa app as it recorded them. But u can turn the record function off in the alexa app.

veevee04 · 07/04/2022 02:26

I hate Alexa! My DD got a Kindle fire for Christmas and I had to endure DD shouting "Alexa Alexa" every couple of minutes. Eventually I turned the setting off and she just googles what she wants. Awful things.

Danikm151 · 07/04/2022 02:58

You can turn off the listening function and it will only listen with the wake word of Alexa. It’s in the settings on the app. Pretty easy to do

Patchbatch · 07/04/2022 03:09

@Danikm151

You can turn off the listening function and it will only listen with the wake word of Alexa. It’s in the settings on the app. Pretty easy to do
It has to be passively listening to hear the wake word.
Coyoacan · 07/04/2022 03:25

He's a prepper and believes the government is corrupt that there will be a nuclear war.

So is it now a conspiracy theory to believe the government to be corrupt?

Sushi7 · 07/04/2022 04:32

Alexa has a microphone so of course it’s listening. At least with smartphones you can toggle around with the privacy settings and permissions to things like your camera and microphone. We had one and it turned on randomly without anyone saying Alexa. Got rid of it. It’s creepy.

PrincessNutella · 07/04/2022 05:14

I think it is creepy and that it is listening all the time.

Ffsmakeitstop · 07/04/2022 05:22

My friends DH won't have the COVID vaccine because he thinks the government will know where he is. Says the man with the smartphone with GPS, plus satnav and anpr cameras and CCTV everywhere. Quite why he thinks anyone wants to know where he is I don't know. But because of his selfishness they can't go abroad this year, because they have two autistic kids and she can't manage on her own. Selfish twat.
Sorry got sidetracked. I wouldn't want Alexa either but if DH did I wouldn't dissuade him unless I had a sensible reason.

Plutoisaplanet · 07/04/2022 05:33

@YoComoManzanas

I think your husbands right to privacy in the bedroom trumps your right to alexa in the bedroom.
This 100%
Brefugee · 07/04/2022 07:38

All smart devices listen to you. But having an Alexa makes it really easy - right now it's used to sell you things from Amazon but it does have other uses, and not all nefarious.

I'm quite sure that a lot of, say, disabled people will think Alexa is really useful and the pros outweigh the cons.

But i do think, despite his prepperness and paranoia about the govt (he's not really wrong though, is he?) the OP and her DH need to have a conversation about why her or his wishes trump his or her wishes. tbh i think for the bedroom at least it's a "2 yesses" situation. Other people have different views

saggyhairyass · 07/04/2022 07:46

I would never buy one. My brother has one and I can't see the point.

But since we could use the Internet tech companies and the government know an awful lot about us anyway. So many criminals are caught because of their online activity. Other devices like Ring doorbells collect data. It's far too late to worry about people listening to us.

Whatafustercluck · 07/04/2022 07:52

My dh is the same. Alexa is never switched on these days. He finds it creepy.

carefullycourageous · 07/04/2022 08:01

Alexa does listen to you and the data is out of your control, I think your DH is right about that. It is not great for him that he has no control over his own bedroom.

I think YABU.

CatsArePeople · 07/04/2022 08:36

YABU. Alexa is a bitch.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/04/2022 08:40

Mine turned on at 4 am once,top volume ,playing radio 2. It was properly scary so I wouldn't have her in the bedroom either and ours now goes off at night.

jytdtysrht · 07/04/2022 09:04

I cannot fathom why anyone would have one of these. I am not surprised your dh turns it off.

dworky · 07/04/2022 09:17

I'm afraid I agree with your husband.

I wouldn't have one in the house, let alone in the bedroom.

dworky · 07/04/2022 09:19

Even your phone is listening, if you allow voice search.

incognitoforthisone · 07/04/2022 09:19

@HalleBre

He's a prepper and believes the government is corrupt that there will be a nuclear war. He has bought gas masks and years worth of long life food. Maybe that's skewing my view 😢
In that case, I would say that him switching off your Alexa is actually the least of your worries.
MissConductUS · 07/04/2022 09:20

@carefullycourageous

Alexa does listen to you and the data is out of your control, I think your DH is right about that. It is not great for him that he has no control over his own bedroom.

I think YABU.

Not really.

Separating fact from fiction when it comes to Alexa privacy

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 07/04/2022 09:33

I have loads of Alexas and Google home minis. They control my lights, the heating and I use them for alarms, radio and even turning the TV on and off. I would be really cross if someone turned them off as I'd have to set all that up again.

Not bothered about anyone listening. It's listening for its wake word. I hardly think I say anything interesting enough for Putin.

carefullycourageous · 07/04/2022 11:53

@MissConductUS You have just linked to Amazon marketing information?

The data is not fully under your control.

Tynesider007 · 07/04/2022 12:19

2 years ago anyone worried about nuclear war, food supplies and government corruption at the same time would have been described as unhinged.

Turns out they were right all the time. It is not unreasonable to not wish to be recorded in private.

I access this forum using duckduckgo and it gives a list of who is trying to track you. I have just checked and have 43 trackers blocked on this forum. They are not tracking you because they like you and want to help.

mathanxiety · 07/04/2022 21:09

*It's far too late to worry about people listening to us"

@saggyhairyass - agree.

The H in this case is not only unreasonable but also irrational.