AIBU - about return travel time

[daddysboi]

My wife is 25 weeks pregnant, and we have a 2 year old son. She takes him to see her parents on a weekly basis on a set day. She go's early whenever she's ready, and I'm going to work. I only ask she drives back (motorway drive) about 40 mins away to leave in daylight time/hours to avoid driving in the dark. This has invariably never happened, and getting later and later. Last week was 8.30/9pm and next day he usually go's to nursery which can also be a little disruptive to his sleep.

today Ive checked the tyres, and reinflated for her car before going to work as two were a little low on air, as some concerns tyres need changing. Again ive asked her to come back in daylight before 7/7.30pm to avoid motorway driving in the dark. Weve had a row, as she thinks I shouldnt be telling her to come back at a certain time.

Is safety not the priority and am I being unreasonable?

Stop being a control freak. She's a grow woman who has passed her driving test. Let her do her own car maintenance.

She's an adult. I would never tell DH what time he should come home after seeing his family.

Ugh, control freak! How can she enjoy her day if she's clock watching because you don't want her driving after a certain time. She's a grown woman capable of knowing what's right for her and your children. Calm down.

Are you this controlling elsewhere in the relationship?

Is this a reverse though?

You do know that cars have lights on the front? That light up the road in front of you?

Of course safety is the priority but that doesn't mean only driving in day lights. Cars do have lights of their own, and street lights are a thing too.

You have no right to tell your wife what time she's allowed to drive.

@SwelegantParty

You do know that cars have lights on the front? That light up the road in front of you?

This!!!

I think your wife should go to her parents and stay there.

Are you allowed to drive in the dark yourself?

Is this an annoying reverse- seems set up awfully like one🙄 just say what your issue with your husband is. Does it affect the toddler being out late before nursery? That's the only maybe valid point- if they're tetchy the next day, and it's every week with a late night about 9, then I'd be a miffed partner too

Unless you are going to major drip feed that you live in a country where driving at night is dangerous due to car jacking, poor road conditions, wild animals roaming etc. then you are being very very unreasonable.
and I say that as someone who lives in a country with the aforementioned problems who would still be irritated if DP tried to tell me what time I had to be home

So in a few weeks when it's still light at 8:30/9:00, you'll be fine with her coming back at that time, will you, or will you be looking for another pretext to control her?

She's probably coming back later and later to make the point that you don't get to tell her what to do.

Either that or she's in no rush to get home, for some reason.

YANBU, I often tell my mum not to drive in the dark as she’s got cataracts and can’t see very well. That’s a safety thing too and isn’t me being controlling.

I thought the thread was about return time travel...oooh exciting, I thought! Actually it's about travel times...not so much.

What's the problem with motorway driving in the dark? Much safer than country roads in the dark, for example. Do you never drive in the dark?

Surely this is a reverse?! If my DP told me I wasn’t to drive in the dark I’d tell him to do one.

Ironically this op commented on the thread about parents checking in when traveling, saying that they should be given independence

@ExplodingElephants

YANBU, I often tell my mum not to drive in the dark as she’s got cataracts and can’t see very well. That’s a safety thing too and isn’t me being controlling.

Your Mum having cataracts does not mean that the wife in the OP has cataracts!

Well of course safety is a priority, but do you not think she’s capable of assessing that herself?

@ExplodingElephants

YANBU, I often tell my mum not to drive in the dark as she’s got cataracts and can’t see very well. That’s a safety thing too and isn’t me being controlling.

That is not the same thing at all 😂

You're being ridiculous.

You are being controlling. The car is either safe or drive or it isn’t.

If you think your toddler is going to bed much later than usual then that’s worth discussing with her.

We live in a country where it can be dark by half past 3 in the afternoon! What a ridiculous request.

Safety- the car presumably has working headlights and your wife has good eyesight?

Get a grip.

She’s a grown adult; why can she not drive on the motorway in the dark? You’re being very controlling.