...to think that the woman who found out that I am going through a miscarriage, should not go around school telling everyone, AND that then.....

[NatalieJane]

NO ONE should come up to me while I am with DS1 (5yo, obviously doesn't know about the MC) not to see if I am OK or anything, but just to get a bit more gossip, from the horse's mouth, as it were? FFS stupid bloody people

And, I am not a horse, so she can get her fucking gossip from somewhere else.

aw thats rotten honey for you

YANBU, that must be awful for you. Hope you are ok.

cuddles

I had a friends mum come up to me and loudly ask how the bump was. I had to tell her I had had a miscarriage around three weeks before. I felt bad for her as she was very embarrassed. My daughers friend also loudly shouted out that I had a baby coming - I had to explain to her that it hadnt been able to hold on and had fallen out (this on the school doorstep) to stop her saying "YES YOU HAVE!!" TBH I am very open about stuff and it didnt really bother me. I am a bit from the Que Sera camp though I understand those that are definately not.

How did she find out you had a miscarriage?

Sorry you having to go through this NJ xx

How did you you find out she had done this? It couldnt be she was just letting people know so they didnt rush up and upset you more? (UC puts on devil's advocate hat!)

So this sort of thing is not the norm?

I have a bump, she asked about it yesterday while I was picking DS1 up, she said "Number 3 on the way?" and I couldn't answer her, after one of those awful silences that go on for too long, I think she clicked all was not well, I mumbled "not anymore" and had to walk away.

She then obviously went and told everyone.

And to think I had been thinking about how bad she must have felt and I was actually going to apologise today.

Sorry UC x posts.

None else at school knew about it. And regardless, I don't think it is any of her business to be telling anyone, under any circumstances, and never mind how well intentioned.

I agree it is not up to a third party to spread this kind of 'news' about.

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NJ I really feel for you a similar situation happened to me and I found it really hard it was like just one more thing to deal with on top of everything else
I would steer clear of her I'm sure most other mums aren't interested in that sort of gossip

I am so angry, though to be honest I woke up feeling quite angry today, so this has just tipped me over the edge I think.

When will my sodding belly go down? It is still getting bigger by the day.

She probably told other people so they were aware and could be tactful and not ask you about the pregnancy, I would have done the same. The person who came up to you today was very thoughtless.

She probably told other people so they were aware and could be tactful and not ask you about the pregnancy, I would have done the same. The person who came up to you today was very thoughtless.

It may take a few days look after yourself this is such a hard time especially when you have other dcs to care for

Message withdrawn

oh dear

I hope she told people so that no-one else would ask you and to try to protect you , rather than gossiping.

horrible situation nonetheless x

I think I had kind of got myself prepared for people asking if I was pregnant, but, the woman today is the leader of the mums and tots I am supposed to be at right now.

I was with DS1, as I said, he knows nothing of the MC, and she says "We'll not be seeing today at the group?" I said "Why?" and infront of DS she carries on with "well, y'know , with you losing the baby and everything...." poor DS, he thought she was on about DS2, so he pipes up with "No G is here!"

I just walked off, wish I'd have told her off now, but think I'd have made it worse for DS1, and I'd have never have made it through a rant without breaking down.

I don't use this word lightly biut BITCHES the lot of them. She wasn't even asking if I was OK, just wanted more to tell her stupid little mates in the playground.

Sorry to hear about your MC NJ. I agree, it was very thoughtless of her, in fact down right rude really.

god, people can be really stupid and thoughtless can;t they.sorry NJ.

Oh god - how dreadful! That makes me really angry. Sometimes people who've never been through one can be crashingly insensitive.

What vile gossiping cows.

How rude anyway to comment on someone's tum. I'd never say anything unless it was patently obvious (like 24 weeks or so).

I'm sorry NJ - it's horrid I know

Well this is it, I was exactly the same with my last pregnancy, I just wake up one day with a pregnant belly. People do think I am a lot further on than I actually was.

In one day I went from my size 12's I've tried so hard to get into since having DS2, to my 18's with the button un-done, I am the same size now as I was when I was about 6 months with DS1.

Just wish it would go down now, it just feels really cruel to be walking around with a huge tummy, with nothing in it.

I'm so sorry to hear of your MC

I have a real bee in my bonnet at the moment about people, their general lack of discretion and huge, selfish mouths. That was completely out of order on her part and so, so thoughtless. Why can't people think before they open it?

YA definitely NBU

How on earth am I going to face them all when I go to pick him up?

They're the ones being prats, NJ -- rise above it. Can't begin to say how shocked I am at the insensitivities you've encountered.
In my first pregnancy I was so excited about it I eagerly asked someone else if she was - and she said she had m/c 3 weeks earlier. I wanted the Earth to swallow me there and then. Since then I've almost never dared to ask anyone, just in case they're merely fat or.... worse, it's just gone wrong.