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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think parents don't honestly behave like this...

169 replies

DumplingsAreRank · 05/04/2022 21:57

... ahead of the new serious of Waterloo Road (yes, I am that retro) I am rewatching some old series.

One of the kids, Scout, has witnessed her mother walk out with a new bloke for some "alone time" destroying her opportunity to get an education and leaving a 3 year old without a mum.

Parents wouldn't actually do this would they? It's make believe surely

OP posts:
DimplesToadfoot · 05/04/2022 23:40

My birthgiver/thing had 4 kids, she didn't raise 1 of us, we were scattered about, brother adopted at birth, I spent 17 years in a children's home, 1 raised by dad and one ended up in care after she battered the living daylights out of him and fed him a prescription of diazepam.

Some women shouldn't have kids, she's the epitome of evil

FortunesFave · 05/04/2022 23:42

My DDs friend aged 16 has been left to her own devices basically since her Mum met a new man. The Mother ended the tenancy of the house she lived in with DDs friend so DD's friend had to go and live at her Dad's house but he lives with his new girlfriend and her four kids....so DD's friend has to live in a caravan in his garden! It's not sustainable...she can't wait to get old enough to earn so she can get her own place.

I offered for her to stay here but she said no because she doesn't want to feel beholden to anyone....I explained I wouldn't expect rent or anything but no....she stays here about twice a week and in this grotty caravan the rest of the time.

Her Mother doesn't give a shit!

JudgeJ · 05/04/2022 23:58

@StopStartStop

Taught 20 years in inner city UK. Had at least one pupil who couldn't come in because his mother had gone off, leaving him to care for the baby.
I had a very able pupil whose work tanked after her sister had a baby and she, the able pupil, was expected to do all the night feeding etc When I told her she shouldn't have to do that I got told off because their mother, the grandparent, had complained, it was none of my business apparently to try and do the best for my pupil. I think the OP is either very naive ir has a rose tinted view of life. Another pupil was short-listed for a carers' award, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Programmes like Waterloo Road show a concentrated picture of many schools, all the story lines are unlikely to occur in one school but they were very believable.
PriamFarrl · 05/04/2022 23:58

My friend at school lived with her mum and step dad. One day the mum just walked out leaving all three children in the care of the stepdad while she went of with a new boyfriend.

Ponoka7 · 05/04/2022 23:59

My DD was friend with a boy whose Mother started going on trips/holidays when he was 14 and his brother 12. She'd top up the gas and electric, get food in and leave £5 emergency money. I know of a Mother who moved out of the family home when her children were 13 and 15, she was in HA housing on benefits and used to visit them. Eventually the youngest went to live with his Dad and the girl got pregnant. SS got involved and she went into a Mum and Baby unit.
That's without the cases that reach the news. Mum's leaving toddlers to go away for the weekend etc. Then there was the tragic case of the four children, under 7 who died in a fire after being left alone. I think it often builds up.

JudgeJ · 06/04/2022 00:01

@mycatisannoying

It surely is make believe that someone would name their child Scout Grin
To Kill A Mockingbird fan maybe? I can think of far worse names!
JudgeJ · 06/04/2022 00:04

@Lalliella

There’s some snobbishness and generalisations on this thread. I know of a very naice middle class above average age mum who left her kids for another bloke. They were devastated.
I wonder if she was required to provide any financial support for her deserted children?
AHungryCaterpillar · 06/04/2022 00:06

Not the same but I know of someone who went on holiday and left her 2 year old home alone, so yes people do much worse

FancySomeChips · 06/04/2022 00:10

Many many fathers do this all the time.
Shame there’s so much single mum bashing on here.

Treating your kids so appallingly is disgusting but let’s not make it about mums, the dads have equal responsibility.

KneadingKitty · 06/04/2022 00:21

There's parents who do much worse than this. Bit confused how you are living such a sheltered life tbh.

LampLighter414 · 06/04/2022 00:21

In the UK alone there are thousands of mothers who are drug addicts, alcoholics, mentally unwell or in other ways messed up such that their priority is not their children.

So yes this does happen.

LazyJayne · 06/04/2022 00:28

People don’t REALLY rob the off licence, do they? I couldn’t even contemplate doing something like that myself (I’m a really good person), and I just find it mind-blowing that someone would? Is it just made up for Crimewatch?

Ericaequites · 06/04/2022 00:28

It’s always happened. My great grandparents took in a first cousin to live with their children at four months when his mother divorced and left town a hundred years ago. His father never wrote, visited, or sent money. The Saturday after Cousin Wally turned sixteen, his father came to fetch him to work on his dairy farm. Gramp would have none of this, pointing out he had cared for Wally as his own. Wally would stay with Gramp, work for him now he was capable of a man’s work, and finish high school
My father b.1935 spent much of his childhood living with an uncle and aunt because his divorced mother didn’t like him working on cars and making a mess. She much preferred his sister.

DimplesToadfoot · 06/04/2022 00:29

@FancySomeChips

My dad doesn't know of my existence, my birthgiver doesn't know who my dad is, I'd be hard pressed to hold him responsible Hmm

steff13 · 06/04/2022 00:30

@mycatisannoying

It surely is make believe that someone would name their child Scout Grin
Bruce Willis and Demi Moore did.
steff13 · 06/04/2022 00:32

@DumplingsAreRank

... ahead of the new serious of Waterloo Road (yes, I am that retro) I am rewatching some old series.

One of the kids, Scout, has witnessed her mother walk out with a new bloke for some "alone time" destroying her opportunity to get an education and leaving a 3 year old without a mum.

Parents wouldn't actually do this would they? It's make believe surely

Of course people leave their children. You don't know anyone whose parent left? People murder their children, for goodness sake. Leaving is not that unbelievable.
Zfactorstar · 06/04/2022 00:56

This almost exact senerio happens to a friend of mine. Thankfully she has a good father and stepmom. Sometimes when Mumsnet overly sanctifies moms and vilifies father's and stepmoms I remember my friend being left alone for 2 days at age 5.

Coyoacan · 06/04/2022 01:58

If you’re a good parent it’s difficult to believe that some people are shit parents

I don't find it's that hard to believe. I remember when my baby was little, I had enough money in the bank, a good place to live, good friends and had been treated kindly while I was growing up. And even then it was sometimes hard to be patient with her.

We need to support the weaker members of our community better, really.

Nat6999 · 06/04/2022 02:09

My niece is in the new Waterloo Road & Ackley Bridge, not a lead role but she auditioned & has done filming for both.

vicarc · 06/04/2022 02:09

My Dad was left with a brood of 5 children to raise alone as his ex walked out for a new bloke. The youngest was 2. They were probably not all genetically his as she was a serial cheat (all pre DNA testing) but he didn’t have the heart to split the sibling group so he soldiered on. He wrote to her to come and get the children at one point but she never came, in fact never responded. To add insult to injury he was ordered to pay her alimony in the way of pension contributions as part of the divorce settlement. It was incredibly hard, bankrupted him, was sectioned once for a complete mental breakdown from extreme stress and the eldest sister had to take up a parenting role as my Dad had to work all the hours he could to support them. The ex was a devout catholic and my dad even converted to marry her. What can I say really, women are no better or worse than men just society doesn’t wish to see it. A lifetime later, 6 months before my elderly Dad passed, a letter arrived from her apologising, I guess she was worried about her soul.

Weatherwax13 · 06/04/2022 02:10

How on earth can you wonder for even a second whether parents really do things like this?
Feckless fathers vanish regularly. And that's the "normal" end of the scale. It's so common.
When I was divorced the stats were that 70% of non resident fathers lost contact with their children within two years. And that was only 20 odd years ago.
Far, far less usual, but certainly not unheard of, my mother walked out when i was 11 and left me with a useless father and two younger siblings.
Many, many children are abandoned by their parent(s)
Or worse.
How the hell haven't you noticed this?

NotNotNotMyName · 06/04/2022 02:49

Dads abandon their kids all the time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Josette77 · 06/04/2022 02:54

Many of us have abandonment stories. How are you unaware of this?

IstayedForTheFeminism · 06/04/2022 03:46

I bloody love waterloo road. When's it back?

Wasn't Scout a nickname? Is Scout the one who grew up to be Sinead in Corrie?

Turningpurple · 06/04/2022 04:24

If you are talking about women doing it, I think its less common than men doing it, but it happens. I know a couple of people whose mothers did it.

One of them left her 2 kids alone in the house for 2 days, as the dad worked away. So she left while he was working. She had 2 more kids with OM and then did the same to them