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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this rude?

102 replies

snackzies · 05/04/2022 14:00

NC for this one. I have a friend who I've always felt was rather nosey. She's the type of person to stop another mum at the school gates to gossip and 'casually' bring up a piece of information phrasing it as a question when she knows the bloody answer but just wanted to talk about it and get more details and gossip.

I was out to dinner with said friend and a couple others. We got talking about our ongoing house search, and I'd mentioned we'd seen one that day we were going to put an offer on. She asked a bit of info about it like location and bedrooms etc, and then right in front of me she whipped out her phone at the dinner table with all our friends, pulls up right move and says to me oh is it this one showing the house and price to everyone and having a nosey through the photos!

I couldn't believe it. In front of me!! I know that type of house info is readily available as are sold prices, and loads of people will look at others homes. But seriously, if she was going to look it up she could have at least have the decency to wait until she got home. I couldn't believe it. But I could as it's so typical her.

Sorry for the rant. This has just really surprised me. The cheek!

OP posts:
Responsiveroo · 05/04/2022 16:11

A gossip
Nosey

And yet out for dinner with her and only two others

Odd

You don’t seem to like her

Juniper68 · 05/04/2022 16:12

@Gowithme

I thought you were going to say she then put in an offer herself. I think it's quite normal for someone to want to show their friends the house they're buying and for the friends to want to see it. I'm surprised the group didn't just ask you to show it to them on your phone.
Me too 🤣
Newestname002 · 05/04/2022 16:12

Stop sharing things with her OP. 🌹

LoudingVoice · 05/04/2022 16:16

Honestly can’t see what the issue is at all, you’re completely over reacting

RealRaymondReddington · 05/04/2022 16:17

Nice that she was taking an interest really.

20viona · 05/04/2022 16:18

There is absolutely no issue in what she did you are being very dramatic.

RaspberryChouxBuns · 05/04/2022 16:25

This wouldn't bother me

PinkSyCo · 05/04/2022 16:31

Nope, I don’t see the issue either. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Georgeskitchen · 05/04/2022 16:31

This definitely wouldn't bother me. In fact I've done it myself in the past!! I love a good nosy on rightmove!!

godmum56 · 05/04/2022 16:35

you TOLD her! if she was going to look it up at all at least she was honest enough to do it to your face.

AryaStarkWolf · 05/04/2022 16:51

@Responsiveroo

A gossip Nosey

And yet out for dinner with her and only two others

Odd

You don’t seem to like her

Yeah I agree, you call her a friend but you really don't seem to like her at all. Why are you out at lunch with her?
ElevenSmiles · 05/04/2022 17:02

Some would say it's rude when the OP doesn't bother contributing to their own thread, even if it is a Dead Duck

NippyWoowoo · 05/04/2022 17:07

I'd share the link and photos with friends I was close enough to to be at dinner with

HyggeTygge · 05/04/2022 17:08

It's a bit forward but if it was a good friend I wouldn't consider it particularly weird. Either you want her to know about it or not - if not, you should've said you didn't want to say yet.

I'd be a bit put out though if I didn't want it to be the focus of the conversation.

Looks like this is just a mismatch of what's perceived as acceptable between the two of you - don't think either is particularly wrong.

Original poster
snackzies · 05/04/2022 17:11

@ElevenSmiles

Some would say it's rude when the OP doesn't bother contributing to their own thread, even if it is a Dead Duck

My children would have found it rude if I chose to stay on MN to reply to daft comments like this rather than collecting them to being home for dinner Confused

OP posts:
ElevenSmiles · 05/04/2022 17:13

Yeah at 2.00pm

mumpants · 05/04/2022 17:19

I wouldn't think that's rude. Usually friends who are house hunting would get it up on Rightmove themselves to show you...

Original poster
snackzies · 05/04/2022 17:20

With regards to my friend. I would not say she's a super close friend. We have lunch / coffee occasionally, but don't chat on the phone / text day to day, and I never go round to hers. She's part of a group. I'm closer friends with the others.

She asked how my house search was doing, so she was the one who brought it up. She prodded me for the information. Yes I was willing to give it to her. I don't see that as a big deal.

I was surprised with was the fact that she took it upon herself to go and find the house rather than ask me to see it. I'm quite a private and reserved person. I don't discuss money or anything like that with people.

And I'm fully aware that she could have and would have looked it up at home. I was just surprised she took it upon herself to do it in front of me. Just seemed a bit cheeky to me. If I was in the same situation I would have just asked her if she had any pictures she could share with me.

OP posts:
HyggeTygge · 05/04/2022 17:22

And I'm fully aware that she could have and would have looked it up at home. I was just surprised she took it upon herself to do it in front of me. Just seemed a bit cheeky to me.

If she'd gone off and done it at home people would say she was sneaky or underhand or something. Being open about this sort of thing is far preferable, in my opinion!

HELLITHURT · 05/04/2022 17:22

@snackzies

With regards to my friend. I would not say she's a super close friend. We have lunch / coffee occasionally, but don't chat on the phone / text day to day, and I never go round to hers. She's part of a group. I'm closer friends with the others.

She asked how my house search was doing, so she was the one who brought it up. She prodded me for the information. Yes I was willing to give it to her. I don't see that as a big deal.

I was surprised with was the fact that she took it upon herself to go and find the house rather than ask me to see it. I'm quite a private and reserved person. I don't discuss money or anything like that with people.

And I'm fully aware that she could have and would have looked it up at home. I was just surprised she took it upon herself to do it in front of me. Just seemed a bit cheeky to me. If I was in the same situation I would have just asked her if she had any pictures she could share with me.

Adj you to see it? Yo don't even own it yet? Grin
Floralnomad · 05/04/2022 17:28

I don’t think that’s rude at all .

MissMaple82 · 05/04/2022 17:28

How traumatic for you, and how very very rude of her !!!!! Hmm

PonyPatter44 · 05/04/2022 17:30

But you know what sort of person she is, so its not exactly surprising that she reacted like that. When my best friend was looking for her next house, she sent me the rightmove links, and we actually sat round the table together after dinner and all looked at the top three houses she liked (with me quietly going ShockShockShock at the prices,but then she is loaded!).

If you know someone is OTT and nosey, you can't really enable their behaviour and then act shocked by it.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 05/04/2022 17:31

Wouldn't bother me.

maddy68 · 05/04/2022 17:34

I don't think that's odd at all. It's on a public website. It was brought up in conversation and she googled it.

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