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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find this rude?

102 replies

snackzies · 05/04/2022 14:00

NC for this one. I have a friend who I've always felt was rather nosey. She's the type of person to stop another mum at the school gates to gossip and 'casually' bring up a piece of information phrasing it as a question when she knows the bloody answer but just wanted to talk about it and get more details and gossip.

I was out to dinner with said friend and a couple others. We got talking about our ongoing house search, and I'd mentioned we'd seen one that day we were going to put an offer on. She asked a bit of info about it like location and bedrooms etc, and then right in front of me she whipped out her phone at the dinner table with all our friends, pulls up right move and says to me oh is it this one showing the house and price to everyone and having a nosey through the photos!

I couldn't believe it. In front of me!! I know that type of house info is readily available as are sold prices, and loads of people will look at others homes. But seriously, if she was going to look it up she could have at least have the decency to wait until she got home. I couldn't believe it. But I could as it's so typical her.

Sorry for the rant. This has just really surprised me. The cheek!

OP posts:

LagunaBubbles · 05/04/2022 14:30

Of course its not rude, what a strange reaction.

HalloHello · 05/04/2022 14:37

I love looking at houses! House prices are readily available online so I can't see a problem here!

Mangogogogo · 05/04/2022 14:39

Whatttttt me and my friends would absolutely do this!

Bluetowelsandflannels · 05/04/2022 14:42

You're being weird not her, perfectly normal reaction tbh

marqueses · 05/04/2022 14:43

Anything on the internet is pretty much fair game and rightmove doubly so. While I wouldn't have got my phone out in company like that you know what she's like so shouldn't have told her

If you want your househunting to be a secret keep it to yourself.

Minatrina · 05/04/2022 14:47

When I bought my house just over a year ago now, every single one of my friends asked to see the rightmove listing almost immediately. One of the times was at the pub so I got it up on my phone and the friend who asked then passed my phone around the table for everyone to look at. Seems pretty normal to me tbh, everyone loves looking at houses. As you say, you know full well they'd just do it at home anyway so what's the harm in doing it openly in front of friends?

MardyMandy · 05/04/2022 14:48

I think it's a perfectly normal thing to do. You tell me where it is, and how many bedrooms. Obviously friends would like to see.

JaneJeffer · 05/04/2022 14:48

She sounds like she doesn't believe you until she's checked for herself.

Maybeitstimeforachange · 05/04/2022 14:49

My friend sends me the links to the houses she’s viewing 🤔

LibraryFairy · 05/04/2022 14:52

This is so confusing .. "the cheek"? Honestly agree with PP and don't see a problem with this at all.

CheapFoodShits · 05/04/2022 14:53

Totally normal. I would 100% have done the same as your "friend".

2Gen · 05/04/2022 14:57

I would be a bit put out too as I would be thinking she'd overstepped a bit and should have let me be the one to do that, if I'd wanted to but I think she was just being tactless, not really a CF as such. I wouldn't be going mad about it but I would not be telling her anything personal again at all either!
I do think you have a reason to feel as you do about this incident though, even if other PPs think YABU. I think you should pay attention to your feelings and discern where they're coming from and what's going on under the surface. I suspect there's more to your annoyance than just this seemingly innocuous behaviour of hers OP, and that you've been put off by her nosiness and love of gossip for a while now? This is a bit of tipping point for you? I think it's prudent to keep gossips at a distance and TBH, don't like them, nor nosy feckers, at all, so I'd say listen to your gut about this woman and keep her at arms length. Nod, smile and say Hello but tell her NOTHING!

KrisAkabusi · 05/04/2022 14:59

You haven't enabled voting, so I'm only here to agree with everyone else. It wouldn't occur to me to find this rude. It's the advantage of modern times. You don't need to try to guess from a vague description if you'd like something or not, it's all on the internet, you can have a look.
If she had put in an offer over dinner, that would have been rude, but just having a look online? Nothing wrong with that.

Bethany7 · 05/04/2022 15:00

I don't feel she was being rude O.P really

Snoken · 05/04/2022 15:03

Has the world gone mad? No, that is not rude. Not even in the slightest. She is just showing an interest and she is a friend.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 05/04/2022 15:05

I don't really see the issue with this. You mention her being able to see the price so is this the real issue? I would think her waiting until she was on her own to look it up seems more sneaky and like snooping. I wouldn't care either way though!

BelleNoir · 05/04/2022 15:23

YABU. Nothing wrong with that at all, I thought you were going to say she put in an offer on the house.

KneadingKitty · 05/04/2022 15:23

She was excited for you, no doubt. Any of your friends could have looked it up afterwards and seen everything she saw right then anyway, I know I would lol.
I'm not sure I'd have done that myself, I'd have probably asked you if you minded showing us it on rightmove or whatever. It's your thing after all. However, I do think it's all a fuss about nothing really.

AryaStarkWolf · 05/04/2022 15:26

YABU

BoredZelda · 05/04/2022 16:01

You’re annoyed that someone looked something up on the internet, that you had also looked at?

EmpressCixi · 05/04/2022 16:05

YABU. Nothing rude about friends sharing pics of a house you are interested in in front of you. You do sound a bit insecure though, like you were afraid they would be snobby about the house or price of it.

Gowithme · 05/04/2022 16:08

I thought you were going to say she then put in an offer herself. I think it's quite normal for someone to want to show their friends the house they're buying and for the friends to want to see it. I'm surprised the group didn't just ask you to show it to them on your phone.

HELLITHURT · 05/04/2022 16:09

Public info! YABU.

The price and photos are there for everyone to see.

Responsiveroo · 05/04/2022 16:09

Her only mistake was doing it in front of you

Everyone else would have done it in the taxi home

SniffMyQuiffyHair · 05/04/2022 16:09

I think it's crass to do that, but you made it the topic of conversation.

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