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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed my manager hasn't checked in on me?

57 replies

Beenylou · 04/04/2022 18:29

I took 13 months off from work after having my first baby due to a combination of maternity leave and annual leave.

I've been back at work a week now and I'm surprised and a little annoyed that my manager hasn't checked in on me at all. He's just told me to ease myself back into work and that was it.

AIBU to be annoyed by this? I think I'm more annoyed because a manager on another team put time aside to have a chat to see how I am and to also let me know that she was available if I needed someone to talk to.

What have your experiences been like post maternity leave?

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 04/04/2022 18:46

Eh? Unless you have a health issue, I wouldn't expect anyone to check up on me after maternity leave.

100problems · 04/04/2022 18:50

It's only been a week, give him a chance. Presumably you are competent in your job, don't need hand holding and he is expecting to cut you some slack as you ease back in.

Fizzgigg · 04/04/2022 18:51

@Justmuddlingalong

Eh? Unless you have a health issue, I wouldn't expect anyone to check up on me after maternity leave.

You wouldn't expect your manager to check on how your return to work had been after 13 months away? Piss poor people management in my view

Justmuddlingalong · 04/04/2022 18:52

No. I wouldn't.

grapewines · 04/04/2022 18:52

YABU. He has work to do presumably. What needs checking up on? He trusts you to get on with work. It's what you're there for.

Darkstar4855 · 04/04/2022 18:52

I was pretty much straight back in, nobody “checked up on me”! I think they just assumed I’d ask if I needed anything. It’s not like coming back on a phased return from long term illness and needing special adjustments to be made.

biggreenhouse · 04/04/2022 18:53

I'd inagine he will check on you during a 121 but a week isn't long ..

Unsureaboutit9 · 04/04/2022 18:54

It’s only been a week, and it’s Monday, it’s possible that other things have crept up and kept him busy, or that he’s giving you time to settle in first, or that he asked the other manager to check in with you as he hasn’t had time. I think you’re premature being so annoyed about it, just approach him if there’s a problem.

Leah2005 · 04/04/2022 18:57

If I had a member of staff returning to work after 13 months off, I would expect to meet with them on their first day back. Check expectations, any changes etc. He's known for long enough you were coming back and it should be in his calendar.

StarMouse879 · 04/04/2022 19:00

When one of my reportees returned from ML, we put 1-2-1s in our diaries twice a week for the first few weeks, so as to keep in touch and make sure she was happily "easing in" and not drowning in uncertainty!

Dreambigger · 04/04/2022 19:04

Mine didn't notice I had been away

ChloeHel · 04/04/2022 19:06

When I first started back last year after 18 months off (was on pandemic sick pay because of being pregnant during pandemic) I didn’t even have a manager and was managing myself for the first 4 weeks! So yeah, YABU, give them a chance.

SatinHeart · 04/04/2022 19:08

He probably just doesn't want to be accused of pressuring/hassling you to get back up to speed and is overcompensating by giving you slightly too much space to get back into things.

CoralDaffodil · 04/04/2022 19:10

When I returned to work after taking that long off for maternity leave I had a meeting the same day.

Thisisit2022 · 04/04/2022 19:13

I check in on my staff for far, far less! I would definitely have some sort of a return to work after an extended period for any reason.

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 04/04/2022 19:16

I don't think I got a check in as such. It was just a hi, how are you, how is baby, can you sort such-and-such. I didn't need any more. If you are struggling you need to approach your manager or hr, not wait for them to ask.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 04/04/2022 19:18

Do you want balloons and a welcome back party? I'd take it was a compliment that he assumes you're straight back at it.

Can you check in with him?

Eloise666 · 04/04/2022 19:19

Yabu

Itsmemaggie · 04/04/2022 19:19

Agree it’s really poor management practice, even if busy managing people is still part of their job and if on leave or all day training/ workshops, they should let you know and say when they’ll be available to catch up.

whoturnedthesunoff · 04/04/2022 19:24

Very poor management
Have there been no changes while you were off ? No new policy or guidance for you to be aware of ? No new team members you may need to know who to contact ?
Did you do Keep in Touch Days ?
I'd not be impressed

HestersSamplerofCarrots · 04/04/2022 19:26

This is shaping up to be one of the tediously competitive ‘who can care the least’ threads already.

I’m fully expecting someone to rock up and say that they came back from mat leave, never saw or spoke to another soul from the second they logged in, and have done all their own annual appraisals ever since and it’s absolutely fine.

YoYoYoYoSup · 04/04/2022 19:27

The reason is He is a he and She is a she! She understands, he clearly does not know what it's like to be on mat leave and come back etc. He should educate himself by speaking to the other manager. I'd mention to him that the female manager has set aside time to speak with you etc see if it elicits any reaction from him.

FTEngineerM · 04/04/2022 19:29

It’s complex isn’t it, you an old school employee with all that knowledge, they probably see it as one big long holiday because you’re still an employee technically and always intended on returning. BUT it can be a massive adjustment returning after having a baby and I checked in quite a lot not only with my own manager but other people around the business.

You’re an old employee - ask them if you need a check in or don’t feel as comfortable with things as you once did.

I’ve just gone back after my second mat leave and I’m a lot more vocal that any time before, I know what I want and need.

Mamamamamia · 04/04/2022 19:30

Ill have been off for the same reasons. ( but for a good bit longer)
Ive been offered a Zoom chat pre return and KIT days
I fully expect to have a meeting / training morning before i start with at least a supervisor- i dont even remember my passwords /covid protocols/procedure updates/new staff

FTEngineerM · 04/04/2022 19:33

I disagree is a he/she thing.
I’ve had a different manager each time after returning and both times they were competent at helping me readjust.

Both were men.

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