Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be annoyed my manager hasn't checked in on me?

57 replies

Beenylou · 04/04/2022 18:29

I took 13 months off from work after having my first baby due to a combination of maternity leave and annual leave.

I've been back at work a week now and I'm surprised and a little annoyed that my manager hasn't checked in on me at all. He's just told me to ease myself back into work and that was it.

AIBU to be annoyed by this? I think I'm more annoyed because a manager on another team put time aside to have a chat to see how I am and to also let me know that she was available if I needed someone to talk to.

What have your experiences been like post maternity leave?

OP posts:

EarringsandLipstick · 04/04/2022 19:33

I'm a manager & I would absolutely check in in this situation, just to say hi, welcome back etc.

I wouldn't do anything more for a week or so tho, so as not to overwhelm them, wouldn't go firing work at them.

But I don't think it's necessarily wrong - other managers I know would leave people alone in a well-meaning way.

If he's not scheduling a 1-to-1 soon enough, that's different tho.

Favourodds · 04/04/2022 19:35

All this thread highlights so far is that some of you are terrible managers with terrible managers.

I would absolutely be having a 1:1 with any member of staff who had been off for an extended period within their first couple of days back. I'd want to discuss any notable events or changes since they left, update them with current workload and plans and also just check in that they were happy and had everything they needed to get back to work.

AlternativePerspective · 04/04/2022 19:37

Tbh I think it’s one of those situations where management can’t win.

You expect your manager to check on you, but there are others who would feel that they were being singled out and treated differently because they now have a child. I think sometimes they can’t do right for doing wrong and there isn’t really a right or wrong answer.

Favourodds · 04/04/2022 19:37

Do you want balloons and a welcome back party?

Yeah, of course, that's why an employee would want their manager to be engaged with their return to work. For the balloons.

RedPanda901 · 04/04/2022 19:38

YANBU - I wfh full time and my managers are quite lackadaisical about checking in. I think it's such poor form.

Rosebel · 04/04/2022 19:51

My manager changed while I was on maternity leave and he didn't even introduce himself to me.
So I think YABU.

altiara · 04/04/2022 19:53

@Beenylou who’s assigned you work to do then?

sobeyondthehills · 04/04/2022 20:03

Is it possible that he has asked her to do a check in with you incase you are not comfortable with talking about personal things with a man?

And that has not been explained to you?

Moodycow78 · 04/04/2022 20:06

@Justmuddlingalong

Eh? Unless you have a health issue, I wouldn't expect anyone to check up on me after maternity leave.

You have very low expectations, I work in HR and if one of our managers didn't meet with a woman returning from maternity leave in their first week back we'd want to know why 🙄

Jalepenojello · 04/04/2022 20:06

I think you choose to be a people manager, checking in with employees in such circumstances is the best minimum, no? I’ve had similar experiences with male (sorry!) managers. You’ll have many on here telling you to get on with it and be a big girl because how dare you expect your manager to, well, manage you.

Original poster

Beenylou · 04/04/2022 20:22

I wasn't expecting a welcome back party or anything like that, I think I just kinda expected some sort of acknowledgment that I had been off? If that makes sense?

When people are off sick, whether that's one day or several months, they get a return to work meeting to check they are ready to be back at work. I know having a baby isn't a sickness, but I still would've expect to have some sort of catch up, some sort of briefing on key things that have changed, especially regarding CoVID policy, but I've had literally nothing.

I've always had a good relationship with my manager so I think maybe I'm just a bit surprised by the lack of interaction

OP posts:

Original poster

Beenylou · 04/04/2022 20:24

[quote altiara]@Beenylou who’s assigned you work to do then?[/quote]
I've assigned my own work

OP posts:

LegMeChicken · 04/04/2022 20:25

@Favourodds

All this thread highlights so far is that some of you are terrible managers with terrible managers.

This, very saddening. Unless.. your LM is one of those people who has many direct reports. Solely for the purpose of parking them somewhere. Has anyone else directly responsible for you checked in

LegMeChicken · 04/04/2022 20:26

Also unless your org freezes in time loads of things change in a year. I work for a 'slow' org and even we have changes every 3 months.
It would be very strange to just return, and jump straight in with no context whatsoever

Puppyseahorse · 04/04/2022 20:27

Err, did you schedule time with him?

tttigress · 04/04/2022 20:29

I think it depends, personally I would prefer not to have a half hour meeting where nothing of substance is talking about.

But obviously your manager should be there for if there is a specific issue.

Favourodds · 04/04/2022 20:30

My manager changed while I was on maternity leave and he didn't even introduce himself to me.
So I think YABU.

It's beserk that you think the OP is being unreasonable, and not that your specific experience was unreasonable.

Where do you all work?!

Blossom64265 · 04/04/2022 20:38

I’ve been off for cancer, major surgery, and an extended maternity leave. My manager has never checked in on me beyond the regular once a year review cycle.

I suppose it depends on your company structure. My manager has very little to do with my day to day work. We are more likely to talk at this point if I have asked her to help out with something on a project I’m leading. I mostly interact with her as a manager during the annual review cycle.

Ohmybod · 04/04/2022 20:55

What did your manager say when you asked for the catch up meeting to be put in the diary?

If you think there’s stuff you should know about covid policy etc why not just ask?!

Taswama · 04/04/2022 21:00

Yanbu. Coming back from maternity can be really unsettling. Lots will have changed even if it doesn't feel like it to people who haven't been away.

Amelion · 04/04/2022 21:07

I’m a manager and I’d definitely organise to catch up with someone returning from a long term leave on their first day back. Not because I don’t think they would be capable of getting back to work, but as a human gesture of ‘welcome back, good to see you, let’s talk about the first week back’. If I wasn’t available - because of leave for example - I’d say that and organise to catch up and the first opportunity.

Amelion · 04/04/2022 21:10

Also to cover updates/new work/anything else that had changed. I mean, stuff might not have changed massively - but if you haven’t been there, you don’t know that so it’s good to catch up and get an update on things.

Luckyelephant1 · 04/04/2022 21:10

I just can't believe the number of people who are using their own examples of shitty managers, to tell the OP that's she's being unreasonable. You're basically saying that because you've been treated like shit the OP and everyone else deserves to be.

Anyone who takes over a year off for maternity or otherwise, deserves a meeting with their manager to discuss all that's changed in the company, any new policies, any changes to structure etc. Especially within the last couple of years where presumably a huge amount has changed due to Covid.

PeachesToday · 04/04/2022 21:20

YANBU - I wouldn’t dream of having my mat leave line reports without a good catch up.

Gladioli23 · 04/04/2022 21:27

I don't have any routine work to do but I can't imagine how one could be off for 13 months and not need meetings with your manager...

How on earth would you find out what had happened while you were away, what the current priorities were, risks and issues you needed to be aware of. I catch up with my manager by video chat once a week and we just cull it after 10 mins if there isn't much to say. During busy times or e.g. when I was just back from a secondment and finding out who was looking after what in my absence etc we probably catch up every 2-3 days?

I'm not incompetent or anything but most of what I do is pretty live and pretty collaborative so I couldn't just leave it sitting there waiting for a monthly one to one or something really.

Flip

1 2 3