Have you ever had to leave a job you love because of a manager?

[BlossomLake]

Aibu to leave a job I love and pays me well because my manger is awful. He constantly finds fault in everything I do. Nothing is ever good enough. I'm exhausted.

Words of wisdom and advice appreciated

Yes - I'd been seconded to another team full time for six months. Boss (new to the team) decided to put me on a performance review and set my end of year as 'failure to comply' because I'd not met my full year working target and that I'd 'return to probation'.

When I argued I hadn't been working in my target team for half the year she said I should have pulled it up in the remaining six months.

I went to the other team boss & HR to ask for a permanent transfer. Even with other boss & HR telling her she was wrong she wouldn't accept it. Head of Section over-ruled her end of year mark for a higher one and told her that I wouldn't be working my notice / handover in her team and would transfer with immediate effect.

She left about three months later. Loads of staff complaints.

Yes. It was a really interesting role in a brilliant company that was pretty much one of a kind (especially in the area I had just moved to).

My manager (there were only two of us on the team) refused to give me any training even though she knew that a large part of the role was completely new to me. She would send me into really important meetings with senior colleagues at a moment's notice and without any context, then would delight in giving me feedback that I seemed 'underprepared'. Even worse, she would attend the meetings with me but get me to lead, then repeatedly sigh, pointedly correct me and undermine me in front of everyone.

That job (and that utter bitch) destroyed my confidence and when I finally walked out, three months in, I was practically skipping down the road.

I did. I grew to hate the job (loved it for 5 years) because my line manager micromanaged me, wouldn't listen to my requests for support and didn't have my back.

It took her 6 months to make me really unhappy. About the only thing that she ever did for me 😬

I had finished ALevels and was working in a pub i had worked in since I was a teenager waitressing. I used to be holiday cover to manage it, absolutley loved it, then we got new landlords who decided my face didn't fit ad they wanted to be in full control and know more than anyone else.

They were fuckibg awful, bullying and belittling me, putying me on a zero hour contract and givibg me random shifts, I was in tears most days. I was 18 and didn't know what to do.

The wife was a bitch, the husband facing a court casecregarding being acvused of rape.

So, Debbie and Paul, you worthless pair of shits, I hope your lives have gone right down the toilet.

Yes, 9 years ago now. I absolutely loved it - it was the dream job I landed out of nowhere. Me and my manager (who I knew personally) got along famously and laughed all day every day, my own team was small and experienced and no trouble, really nice people. There was always something new and exciting to deal with every day, it was brilliant.

Then just as I was feeling warm and valued and worthy and like I'd finally arrived, the manager I laughed and shared annoying "in-jokes" with daily suddenly turned on me.

It was so sudden I was reeling - it was something really trivial but he ripped into me, out of the blue, in front of another team member. Ridiculed something I'd done, getting increasingly nasty until I was backing out of the room. I actually cried (in private), I was so humiliated.

And that was how the pattern went - he'd build you up, making out you were the best at everything and utterly irreplaceable so your ego was well-stroked, and then come and tear it all down again when he wanted to entertain himself. He did it over and over until my confidence was so broken that I could barely make a decision, and then he'd ridicule me and call me jelly-spine in front of my team. He even had nasty spiteful "prizes" at the Christmas party to shame people.

I reached my limit when he talked me into a "promotion", which meant a lot more responsibility for no more pay but with a lot of kudos attached. He promised that he would support me in the new role.

Not only did it turn out that I was expected to do the new job AND my existing one simultaneously - 2 for the pay of one - but the first time I went to him needing help with one of the new projects, he told me I was weak and had to stop leaning on him, and refused to help me at all.

That was quite enough for me, it still upsets me because that was a great job if he hadn't been such a massive bellend.

@malificent7

I always feel that certain types become bad managers....those who were bullies at school seem to thrive on the power.

That said, some managers are great...the difference is I WANT to do well for good managers.

Yes indeed, I posted a page or so back that I now have the best manager ever. And because the manager is so good, I do more, happily. And the whole team is good. We know our backs are covered, we know and have seen the manager go to bat for us all. There is very little bitching within the team, which is unusual imho. I also posted that I have to move on, I want to go into management and I will model myself on current boss. That's how good they are. I will never make a staff member cry at the thought of coming in to work.

I posted my story up thread but I would just like to add that the manager who first employed me was excellent, we had a few little ups and downs but nothing ever lingered or got in the way of work. She got a promotion after I'd been there 10 yrs and that's when the new manager took over and our problems began! Now about 8 years after my first manager left we are still the best of friends and she is always there to support my with anything! Sooo now Pete you horrid little man I wish you nothing but bad luck in everything that you do!!!!