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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I unsympathetic?

63 replies

Merrydance · 04/04/2022 08:34

DH had sore throat yesterday ,did an LFT which was negative. About 5.30am I woke to him moaning, saying oh no and oh dear repeatedly. Eventually I ask what is wrong, and rather sarcastically, did he need an ambulance. He replied he was not sure, but he had a temperature and sore throat. He then decides to go downstairs for a lemsip, but I suggest paracetamol may be stronger. He gets downstairs, a couple of coughs and some more oh dears and I find him lying on the floor, saying he can't get up. I ask does he need an ambulance, as I cant get him up ( I would not have called one but try to point out the drama). He says he is not sure but he is unable to get paracetamol, so could I, which I do then go back to bed. 5 minutes later, he is up, doing washing up, making a cup of tea and saying he probably won't work today as he is not feeling too good. He then goes out in the rain in his pyjamas to put the bins out, which will not be collected for 24 hours. He is now reading in bed. He is never ill except coughs and colds. He has never been seriously ill. I worry how he will cope when seriously ill, plus how I will manage. I worry if he is really unwell, I will ignore it because I think he is overdramatic. How will he manage with old age? I feel really cold hearted, but if he was less dramatic, I could be more sympathetic. Sorry for the rant, just wanted to off load!

OP posts:
Haus1234 · 04/04/2022 08:41

Yes, you are very unsympathetic. He does sound a bit dramatic also.

TheHoleNineYards · 04/04/2022 08:44

LTB

I couldn’t put up with that crap.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 04/04/2022 08:44

dh!
gosh i thought you were talking about a teenage DS

yanbu

stimpyyouidiot · 04/04/2022 08:45

Nobody would get sympathy from me for deliberately waking me up with dramatics at stupid o'clock in the morning.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 04/04/2022 08:50

That would irritate me to, I don't think you are unsympathetic if he has form for this. Why was a grown man laying on the floor? I currently have covid and have been woken up by my husband coughing and groaning the last couple of mornings. When I ask what's wrong I get a strange voice and not sure but, this hurts, that hurts, much limping. 2 negative lateral flows later and he is out the door like a gazelle.

Are they just trying to justify a day off work? As an adult just make the decision and own it. It's crying wolf, I am nurse so am very good at identifying someone really unwell so, probably have less sympathy than I should.

I mean I do 'look after' DH when he is unwell. I just hate the theatrics.

LadyCluck · 04/04/2022 08:50

YANBU

Sounds a bit like my DH when he’s unwell. Slight sniffle = shuffling around in “dressing gown of doom”, lying on sofa moaning and groaning. Drives me crackers.

Like you OP, God knows what they’d be like if seriously unwell.

Chikapu · 04/04/2022 09:00

Why was he on the floor and how had he got there? Did he swoon while pressing a hand to his forehead or did he just lie down?

StrangeCondition · 04/04/2022 09:01

Why the heck was he lying on the floor? Did he fall or just decide to lie on the floor Confused

TheMarvelousMrsMaisel · 04/04/2022 09:04

He was lying on the floor then 5 minutes later was up doing chores and stuff? YANBU he's putting it on.

Stath · 04/04/2022 09:04

Is this how he ended up in the floor?

Youdoyoutoday · 04/04/2022 09:05

Laying on the floor? My god, I would have laughed at him for being so ridiculous!

PingPages · 04/04/2022 09:09

Ugh this sounds ridiculous! I would be unsympathetic too

SpaghettiNotCourgetti · 04/04/2022 09:13

My DH would have needed an ambulance after putting on that performance. Ridiculous manchild.

SpaghettiNotCourgetti · 04/04/2022 09:14

Obviously I am joking, before the no sense of humour crew get here!

Carrotten · 04/04/2022 09:15

What was he doing on the floor? How did he get there? Did he pass out or just choose to lie down on the floor

Honestly the whole thing is just a bit odd more than dramatic, why the washing up at 6am, why the bins in your pjs when there's still 24hrs left?

Brefugee · 04/04/2022 09:16

anybody who wakes me up at 5:30 groaning and moaning had better have a bloody good reason. Can't judge if you're unsympathetic or not but your DH is a drama-king

lemmein · 04/04/2022 09:17

@Carrotten

What was he doing on the floor? How did he get there? Did he pass out or just choose to lie down on the floor

Honestly the whole thing is just a bit odd more than dramatic, why the washing up at 6am, why the bins in your pjs when there's still 24hrs left?

Yeah, I agree - if my DH did that I'd be concerned about him, more bizarre than dramatic.
incognitoforthisone · 04/04/2022 09:28

This just sounds bloody bizarre, more than anything else.

Is there a chance he was having a panic attack?!

Original poster
Merrydance · 04/04/2022 09:54

He did not faint or fall, he lay down on the floor. He is not trying to fake anything to get a day off work, he is usually keen to get his work done. I think it is linked with anxiety, he is a very anxious person, but his behaviour can be very child like, hence my lack of sympathy. If he just said, I am not feeling well, please could you help me with xyz and I am going to rest today, I would be sympathetic and supportive. It's the moaning in a child like voice and the over reaction to a relatively minor illness that winds me up. Yewrs ago I went to stay with my mother, after my dad was admitted to hospital following a heart attack. Dh cared for the children when I was away, which was great, but they got dtomach bugs. By the time I got back, DH got the bug too, I had just arrived home from caring for my dad after his heart attack, who was telling me don't worry, he was fine, but DH was vomiting, saying "I'm dying" repeatedly over the toilet bowl. I just feel like a bad wife!

OP posts:
Original poster
Merrydance · 04/04/2022 09:56
  • stomach bugs, sorry for typos
OP posts:
PigeonLittle · 04/04/2022 10:00

He got up from lying down walked downstairs and then lay down on kitchen floor when he was feeling unwell?

I'd be sending him to the GP to check heart, blood pressure etc. Dramatic or not if he's not prone to lying on the floor its possible he is actually unwell and can't articulate what's wrong.

yourestandingonmyneck · 04/04/2022 10:17

"Oh no, oh dear";
"not sure" if he needs an ambulance

😂

Omg I love him.

But yes, very dramatic. Just leave him to it.

Babyvenusplant · 04/04/2022 10:20

I think i'd struggle not to laugh if my dp was lying on the floor being dramatic about a sore throat

Original poster
Merrydance · 04/04/2022 10:33

Pigeonlittle, if he had said he felt faint, he felt his heart racing, or even if he had just said he did not know why he was feeling ill, I would have stayed with him, insisted he saw a doctor etc. I did ask him on at least 3 occasions what his symptoms were and he said a temperature and sore throat on each occasion. I did not go back to sleep, but listened to see what happened, he got up, made a cup of tea, had a hearty breakfast and put the bins out. He is in bed reading now and I have been asking how he is feeling and taking drinks to him. I just worry if he had something more serious one day, how he would cope

OP posts:
Unanananana · 04/04/2022 10:43

What a drama llama. Why on earth are you taking him drinks?! If he can put the bins out, he can make his own damn drinks.

No clue how these men can be found attractive. Its like having a whining teenager around. Gross.