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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I unsympathetic?

63 replies

Merrydance · 04/04/2022 08:34

DH had sore throat yesterday ,did an LFT which was negative. About 5.30am I woke to him moaning, saying oh no and oh dear repeatedly. Eventually I ask what is wrong, and rather sarcastically, did he need an ambulance. He replied he was not sure, but he had a temperature and sore throat. He then decides to go downstairs for a lemsip, but I suggest paracetamol may be stronger. He gets downstairs, a couple of coughs and some more oh dears and I find him lying on the floor, saying he can't get up. I ask does he need an ambulance, as I cant get him up ( I would not have called one but try to point out the drama). He says he is not sure but he is unable to get paracetamol, so could I, which I do then go back to bed. 5 minutes later, he is up, doing washing up, making a cup of tea and saying he probably won't work today as he is not feeling too good. He then goes out in the rain in his pyjamas to put the bins out, which will not be collected for 24 hours. He is now reading in bed. He is never ill except coughs and colds. He has never been seriously ill. I worry how he will cope when seriously ill, plus how I will manage. I worry if he is really unwell, I will ignore it because I think he is overdramatic. How will he manage with old age? I feel really cold hearted, but if he was less dramatic, I could be more sympathetic. Sorry for the rant, just wanted to off load!

OP posts:

bigbluebus · 04/04/2022 11:08

I think I'd have done the same as you OP. I've got one who (thankfully) is rarely ill, but my goodness we all know about it when he is a little under the weather. Such drama over "gut rot" - you mean you've got trapped wind DH! Headaches get no sympathy from me if they're whinged about before paracetamol has been taken and water drunk as they're probably dehydrated (adult DS is guilty of this one but I have now drained him to get the paracetamol and not whinge now!)

BadNomad · 04/04/2022 11:39

Are you a nurse, OP? You sound like every nurse I know when off duty.

TeddyTonks · 04/04/2022 11:45

He sounds completely fucking ridiculous

TibetanTerrah · 04/04/2022 12:26

How is he not embarrassed?

AryaStarkWolf · 04/04/2022 12:32

Sounds very melodramatic, I wouldn't appreciate him waking me up for no reason either

Original poster

Merrydance · 04/04/2022 12:35

Badnomad - yes, I am a Nurse, well spotted

OP posts:

Thighdentitycrisis · 04/04/2022 12:47

Sounds infuriating- I’m not very sympathetic either.

I mean I am if someone DP is actually ill, but my DP does similar when he just feels something in his body. I think he has health anxiety.

Recently on a Saturday he felt an ache in his ear and self-diagnosed an ear infection. Asked me whether he could get antibiotics from the pharmacy. When told with straight face by me that I didn’t think so, decided he would be going to the doctor on Monday morning!

Next day, no mention of the ear infection.

AryaStarkWolf · 04/04/2022 12:50

Oh anyone remember the thread where it was the female OP who was complaining about the lack of sympathy her DH gave her when she woke him in the middle of the night moaning and groaning? A few poster on that thread were convinced if the sexes were reversed the replies would be different, I think this thread proves that's not the case at all!!

Fraaahnces · 04/04/2022 12:54

After hearing about the first load of performance “Oh Dears” I would totally understand if the reason he was lying on the floor was because he had a sharp object imbedded in his back or chest, or maybe he had slipped on a well-placed skateboard lying across the stairwell.

Sapphirejane · 04/04/2022 12:55

@AryaStarkWolf - did that poster then leap up and take the bins out after a couple of paracetamol? If not then how is that thread relevant?

OP I would have rolled my eyes at the on the floor behaviour and gone back to bed as well. I don’t think you are unsympathetic at all. I have no issue caring for DH when he is ill but I don’t think I would have it in me to pander to him if he behaved like that.

AryaStarkWolf · 04/04/2022 12:58

[quote Sapphirejane]@AryaStarkWolf - did that poster then leap up and take the bins out after a couple of paracetamol? If not then how is that thread relevant?

Sapphirejane · 04/04/2022 13:08

@AryaStarkWolf - very sorry I didn’t completely misread your post . I have been so fed up reading “if this was a reversed and a man blah blah blah” recently I jumped the gun.

Sapphirejane · 04/04/2022 13:08

*did

AryaStarkWolf · 04/04/2022 13:13

[quote Sapphirejane]@AryaStarkWolf - very sorry I didn’t completely misread your post . I have been so fed up reading “if this was a reversed and a man blah blah blah” recently I jumped the gun.[/quote]
No worries the reason I brought it up was just because it really annoyed me on that thread because I was so sure that the sex of the person made no difference to my (or other people's opinions on the subject)

steff13 · 04/04/2022 13:17

@StrangeCondition

Why the heck was he lying on the floor? Did he fall or just decide to lie on the floor

He was overcome with the vapors.

MintyGreenDream · 04/04/2022 13:21

I love that fact you are a nurse and someone else spotted it

whynotwhatknot · 04/04/2022 13:29

My dsis will do this only one time she was taken to hosital and i was proved wrong but its constant i dont feel well ive got a cough cold aching bla bla bla

im just bored of it lucky dont have to live with her though

AryaStarkWolf · 04/04/2022 13:31

@whynotwhatknot

My dsis will do this only one time she was taken to hosital and i was proved wrong but its constant i dont feel well ive got a cough cold aching bla bla bla

im just bored of it lucky dont have to live with her though

The boy who cried wolf

TwoBigNoisyBoys · 04/04/2022 13:32

@Merrydance I laughed out loud as well when it was correctly guessed you’re a nurse 😂 and yes, like every single nurse I know!

As an aside, can I ask why? Is it because you deal with so many people who are actually ill that you can’t be doing with the ones who come over all dramatic?!

(I think I should have been a nurse, I’m horribly unsympathetic to people when they say they’re ill complete with dramatics 😄)

whynotwhatknot · 04/04/2022 13:32

Yep exactly-i feel bad that i didnt believe her but it had happened so many times before i just fobbed it off

FionnulaTheCooler · 04/04/2022 13:36

I think i'd struggle not to laugh if my dp was lying on the floor being dramatic about a sore throat

I did this once, although to be fair it was severe tonsillitis which I was on antibiotics for, I've never felt so rough in my life. I tried to go for a shower, started feeling faint and had to lie on the bathroom floor until it passed, otherwise I felt like I was genuinely going to pass out. Unlike the OP's husband though, I wasn't doing the dishes or bringing the bins out 5 minutes later, I was back in bed feeling like death warmed up, so it does sound like he is milking it.

SockFluffInTheBath · 04/04/2022 14:03

FFS I would have locked the door when he took the bins out

Lemonyfuckit · 04/04/2022 14:08

@Chikapu

Why was he on the floor and how had he got there? Did he swoon while pressing a hand to his forehead or did he just lie down?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 04/04/2022 14:08

He sounds absolutely ridiculous, but your descriptions did make me laugh

SisterRuth · 04/04/2022 14:10

What a baby! I'd be equally unimpressed with that performance. I've more respect for people who are honest & say I'm feeling a bit under the weather but also a bit skiveacious, having a duvet day

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