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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toilet guests at a kids party

52 replies

Sorbfsiabs · 03/04/2022 22:15

We booked a birthday party at the village hall a few months ago.

This week the parish council decided they want to host a big village picnic / possibly booze on the village green outside the hall on the same day.

They're planning for attendees to use the village hall toilets during their event, so random people will be coming into the building where we're having a party for 1-4 year olds. My big concern is random people wandering around where we are, the toilets are the other side of the cloakroom where our things will be. Also, the terms of hire basically say we're responsible for anything that happens in the whole building -

"The Hirer shall, during the period of the hiring, be responsible for: supervision of the premises, the fabric and the contents; their
care, safety from damage however slight or change of any sort; and the behaviour of all persons using the premises whatever their
capacity, including proper supervision of car parking arrangements so as to avoid obstruction of the highway. As directed by The
Village Hall Trustees, the Hirer shall make good or pay for all damage (including accidental damage) to the premises."

AIBU to think this isn't acceptable?

OP posts:
HoneyFlowers · 03/04/2022 22:21

If you're not happy, do the party elsewhere. We hired out a room, and the toilets were shared with others in the community centre.

TwoDaysOff · 03/04/2022 22:22

Does the parish council own the hall?

kierenthecommunity · 03/04/2022 22:23

How long is the party, and is the event on for the entire duration? Admittedly I’d be surprised if people using the loo would cause any of damage

WalltoWallBtards · 03/04/2022 22:23
  1. move your valuables into where you are or presumably people will keep phones and wallets on them anyway.
  2. no-one is going to have any interest I. Your kids party.
  3. they have a standard t&cs and no court in the land would hold you accountable if some random person burned down the village hall but if it bothers you wrote an email outlining g your concerns do that you have reply stating that you are not accountable etc for loos etc
  4. an event May mean some staff are around to help so ask about that - you could have someone there to make sure no one gate crashes your party/
maddening · 03/04/2022 22:23

Yanbu, you have booked the hall as exclusive use, they should move dates or times. I would think it a safeguarding nightmare, and tbh even if I was hosting a adult event I would not randoms coming in.

ladycarlotta · 03/04/2022 22:29

@HoneyFlowers

If you're not happy, do the party elsewhere. We hired out a room, and the toilets were shared with others in the community centre.
did those other people have to walk through part of the space allocated for your sole use in order to get to the toilets?

I agree with PPs, it's a safeguarding nightmare and also completely unreasonable for you to accept full responsibility for the security of the entire building when they are allowing randoms to wander in. I get that perhaps it's a slim chance that anything will happen, but if it were, you don't want to be liable.
Either you've hired the space or you havent: this current situation seems unworkable.

drpet49 · 03/04/2022 22:31

**
Yanbu, you have booked the hall as exclusive use, they should move dates or times. I would think it a safeguarding nightmare, and tbh even if I was hosting a adult event I would not randoms coming in.**

^I agree with this. I would cancel

ThinWomansBrain · 03/04/2022 22:36

presumably the village event is specific to a local event, or jubilee related? - In which case the date of that probably not moveable.
If so, just say that you'd booked exclusive hire, having random drunks walking through to use toilets is not appropriate, you have safeguarding concerns, you want to cancel or rearange the date.

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 03/04/2022 22:40

It’s a safeguarding issue. Not appropriate. Have the party elsewhere.

bellac11 · 03/04/2022 22:43

Have you booked the hall as exclusive use? You need to get that clarified because if those terms and conditions only apply to the bit of the hall that you are using then it would seem reasonable

You need to find out what the expectations and responsbilities are.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 03/04/2022 22:44

Cancel the hall, get a refund and attend the village picnic.

lanthanum · 03/04/2022 22:45

Ask for a reduction on the hire cost as you will not be able to use the cloakroom to leave things in, and get a new version of the contract that says you are responsible only for the state of the part of the building that you have to yourselves.

Or ask for an alternative date. If your guests are locals they'd probably prefer that the events don't clash.

If it's a big village event, they will probably have someone on duty to keep an eye on the toilets and so on, and you would presumably also be able to call on them if anyone tries to invade your space. The main problem might be if there's a sudden downpour/hailstorm!

mumda · 03/04/2022 22:46

Cancel your party and come to their event instead.

Eightiesfan · 03/04/2022 22:46

I’d move location or ask parish to provide port-a-loos for their picnic on the green.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/04/2022 22:47

We had similar once and people kept wandering into the party thinking it was part of the event.
I'd move the date or venue.

WoolyMammoth55 · 03/04/2022 22:50

OP, if those are the T&Cs that you signed then their event puts you in breach. Simple.

There may be a solution (I'd need a diagram to be sure! :) ) But you're well within your rights to insist that they hire some alternative portable bathrooms for their guests, and if they won't then find another venue.

They can't hold you to your hire contract if they are the ones breaching the contract.

StoneofDestiny · 03/04/2022 23:11

I agree with PPs, it's a safeguarding nightmare and also completely unreasonable for you to accept full responsibility for the security of the entire building when they are allowing randoms to wander in. I get that perhaps it's a slim chance that anything will happen, but if it were, you don't want to be liable.
Either you've hired the space or you havent: this current situation seems unworkable

I agree - you can't be solely responsible if others are using it! .

eurochick · 04/04/2022 03:09

What's the definition of what you are hiring during the contract?

Changechangychange · 04/04/2022 03:21

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

We had similar once and people kept wandering into the party thinking it was part of the event. I'd move the date or venue.
This would be my worry rather than “safeguarding issues”. It’s going to be really disruptive.

Can you move the date or time at all so there’s no clash?

carefullycourageous · 04/04/2022 03:35

@drpet49

** Yanbu, you have booked the hall as exclusive use, they should move dates or times. I would think it a safeguarding nightmare, and tbh even if I was hosting a adult event I would not randoms coming in.**

^I agree with this. I would cancel

Me too, the PC are taking the piss.
5YearsLeft · 04/04/2022 04:01

I would really cancel using the hall that day, and use them violating their own contract as the reason. Because unless you are able to put signs on the door of the hall saying, “PRIVATE EVENT - DO NOT ENTER,” I think you run the very real risk of some CFs popping their heads in, deciding it looks like a crèche for the event, and just dropping their children at the door without even speaking to you (every event that’s large enough has the kind of people who would do this).

airrrrAIRRRRiELLLL · 04/04/2022 04:24

There's no reason they can't advertise their function as not having access to toilets. I wonder if they forgot about your booking? I wouldn't be happy.

liveforsummer · 04/04/2022 07:25

Definitely not appropriate, especially if drinking is involved. You'll have your party dc potentially sharing loos with drunk adults. It's unrealistic to think no one will be interested in your child's party as a pp claimed. I bet every dc attending the fair for a start will be super interested in a kids party going on feet away.

liveforsummer · 04/04/2022 07:27

It's also a risk the the party kids will be interested in the goings on at the village fair and sneak out. Could be a problem if parents drop off and leave

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 04/04/2022 07:28

My worry would be that any kid at the fair is going to come and join in your party when they hear the music, see party lights and games.