Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toilet guests at a kids party

52 replies

Sorbfsiabs · 03/04/2022 22:15

We booked a birthday party at the village hall a few months ago.

This week the parish council decided they want to host a big village picnic / possibly booze on the village green outside the hall on the same day.

They're planning for attendees to use the village hall toilets during their event, so random people will be coming into the building where we're having a party for 1-4 year olds. My big concern is random people wandering around where we are, the toilets are the other side of the cloakroom where our things will be. Also, the terms of hire basically say we're responsible for anything that happens in the whole building -

"The Hirer shall, during the period of the hiring, be responsible for: supervision of the premises, the fabric and the contents; their
care, safety from damage however slight or change of any sort; and the behaviour of all persons using the premises whatever their
capacity, including proper supervision of car parking arrangements so as to avoid obstruction of the highway. As directed by The
Village Hall Trustees, the Hirer shall make good or pay for all damage (including accidental damage) to the premises."

AIBU to think this isn't acceptable?

OP posts:
LetHimHaveIt · 04/04/2022 07:45

I'm astonished anyone thinks you're being unreasonable. Why should you cancel? Your booking was the first in time. You should have exclusive use of the hall and lavatories and shouldn't have to throw them open to the public because of a lack of planning on the part of the Parish Council (not unusual). I'd be telling them they can go elsewhere or pay for you to book an alternative venue. CFs.

Whooshaagh · 04/04/2022 07:49

It’s not acceptable OP.
I would write a strongly worded letter saying how inappropriate it is for the toilets to be shared with a private party.
I assume the party will be about 3 hours so the other event will have to cork it until you’ve left imo.

Goldbar · 04/04/2022 08:21

Tell the parish council that the toilets will be unavailable for use by the public because you have hired (and are responsible for) the entire premises.

Chloemol · 04/04/2022 09:06

I would contact the hall and say you have hired it, including toilets, that the contract says you are responsible, that there are small children, therefore a safeguarding issue, so you want confirmation that they will be advising the toilets cannot be used between x and y and that you will be locking the doors accordingly

Original poster
Sorbfsiabs · 04/04/2022 09:09

Thank you all for your comments - it's very much reassured me.

Sadly I'm not sure much would be done, but I'm going to challenge it and see what they come back with.

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 04/04/2022 10:53

havent they broken their own terms though why should you suffer when you booked first

Original poster
Sorbfsiabs · 04/04/2022 18:02

So I emailed the hall, mentioning the points on this thread - safeguarding issues, concern about people wandering in and them thinking the rest of the hall is part of the event.

I got a response saying they'd be willing to put posters up saying we are a private event, but that they'd be using the toilets. As a result we wouldn't be responsible for the toilet area.

This still feels pretty weird to be honest..

OP posts:
Szyz2020 · 04/04/2022 18:06

Are the random toilet-users able to walk through your hired space? Do they have to walk through your hired space to reach the toilets?

If they have to then that’s not on on a safeguarding or any other basis.

If they could but don’t have to, you may need to bring another person to help out by standing guard to divert them away from your party; you may also need to ensure that children don’t leave the hall unaccompanied to use the toilet, but with that age group that’s unlikely anyway.

carefullycourageous · 04/04/2022 18:09

@Sorbfsiabs

So I emailed the hall, mentioning the points on this thread - safeguarding issues, concern about people wandering in and them thinking the rest of the hall is part of the event.

I got a response saying they'd be willing to put posters up saying we are a private event, but that they'd be using the toilets. As a result we wouldn't be responsible for the toilet area.

This still feels pretty weird to be honest..

Can you check your contract and cancel your booking if it is not in line?

I would not be happy at all.

Unsureaboutit9 · 04/04/2022 18:09

If they’ve confirmed you aren't responsible for the toilets I don’t see a problem. 1-4 year olds aren’t going to be using the toilets unattended anyway so it’s not much of a safe guarding problem. I’d be a little annoyed too, but it’s not a big deal really.

Unsureaboutit9 · 04/04/2022 18:10

Although if you still aren’t comfortable id expect them to refund any deposit if you cancel.

LetHimHaveIt · 04/04/2022 18:10

Big of them. I think someone's fucked up here, and they've - bizarrely - decided upon using attack as the best form of defence.

I think you should suggest that their obvious mistake isn't your problem and that they should get portaloos. Point out that responsibility for the state of the loos is the least of it and, while you're much more concerned by the safeguarding issue, what it boils down to is that you made the booking first and they cannot simply insist upon using the loos.

Kite22 · 04/04/2022 18:14

@Unsureaboutit9

If they’ve confirmed you aren't responsible for the toilets I don’t see a problem. 1-4 year olds aren’t going to be using the toilets unattended anyway so it’s not much of a safe guarding problem. I’d be a little annoyed too, but it’s not a big deal really.
This.

I am working on the presumption they won't need to walk through the room where your party is to get to the toilets, and that they are off a foyer / entrance hall type arrangement.

Original poster
Sorbfsiabs · 04/04/2022 18:30

So to clear up the access - there are two ways to get to the toilets - via the kitchen which we have hired and will be using, and via the main entrance which is the cloakroom for the hall where guests would leave coats / bags on the hooks. The building has a clear glass door and internal windows between the cloakroom and main hall.

I feel much better to have confirmed that we won't be responsible for the toilets, but it's still not ideal that potentially a hundred people could be coming in and out of the building. The hall has one unisex toilet and one accessible toilet.

It's a shame the event is so close in time, everywhere else is fully booked and we've already sent our invites etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sorbfsiabs · 04/04/2022 18:32

I think it's a losing battle and we'll have to try and get out of the contract - I just know I wouldn't be happy attending someone else's party on this basis.

Thanks all

OP posts:
ImBurtMacklin · 04/04/2022 18:38

Will you have keys to the hall, or another way of locking the doors?

ENoeuf · 04/04/2022 18:38

At our local hall there are two halls and a garden - the loos are off the cloakroom and the entrance doors from the path are never locked if in use. So it’s down to hirers to supervise children so they don’t leave / go to the loo alone. You could easily have several events going on.

Goldbar · 04/04/2022 18:39

Just tell them that since your contract is for hire of the entire hall, the toilets unfortunately won't be available for use by people who aren't your guests.

Original poster
Sorbfsiabs · 04/04/2022 18:41

Whenever we've hired the hall in the past we've collected keys to the whole building, then drop them off at a house after, so we've locked the main door (it has plenty of fire escape doors)

OP posts:
HappyDays40 · 04/04/2022 18:54

Is it the day of the Jubilee picnic? The hall only has two lots of toilets and they're internal too. There is no access to outdoor toilets, are you using the small room or big room? I wouldn't be happy with people wandering about TBh.

ENoeuf · 04/04/2022 18:56

Sorbfsiabs

Whenever we've hired the hall in the past we've collected keys to the whole building, then drop them off at a house after, so we've locked the main door (it has plenty of fire escape doors)
OP’s posts: See all

That’s annoying then, totally changes the dynamic.

WhyOfCourse · 04/04/2022 19:06

Make sure you let parents know the situation before hand too. They might not want to come.

Unsureaboutit9 · 04/04/2022 19:11

@WhyOfCourse

Make sure you let parents know the situation before hand too. They might not want to come.
Why would they not want to come? I’m sure they will have used shared toilets before.
Chloemol · 04/04/2022 19:12

Is your contract to hire the whole hall?

If so they are in breach of your contract, and they will find their own insurance will be invalid. Particularly over safeguarding

Personally I would be going back amd say they have a choice they either honour the agreement, after all it was entered into by both parties with no mention of others using facilities, or they find you somewhere else to hold the party to avoid disappointing everyone, for which they pay as compensation. If they refuse I would be putting up a review and nota good one on the hall hire

Sometimes you have to push

Chloemol · 04/04/2022 19:13

@WhyOfCourse

Make sure you let parents know the situation before hand too. They might not want to come.
It’s not the sharing of toilets that’s the problem is it? Have you actually read the posts?

It’s the fact that shedloads of random people can enter the hall, and are a possible safeguarding issue. No one wants a child walking out and disappearing do they?

Swipe left for the next trending thread