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Original poster

Fell asleep and didn't hear baby

74 replies

ilovedoggs · 03/04/2022 11:39

This morning 1 yr old DS and I woke up as usual and I offered him his breakfast but he didn't want too much of it so I went back in the bedroom and I put the tv on and him in his cot so I could snooze for a few minutes, this isn't something I usually do, I was just so tired and I always hear him if he starts to fuss but today I was just so exhausted to the point where I didn't even hear him. It was about 9:25 when I put him in there and I woke up at 11 to him screaming. The cot is literally next to the bed I don't know how I didn't hear him. What's worse is he had done a poo and he was just sitting there in it screaming for me and I wasn't responding he must've thought I was dead 😭. He was crying uncontrollably while I changed him and this week I've been weaning him off the breast so I don't usually give a breastfeed in the day time but I gave him one to calm him down. He's calm now but doesn't want to get off it and hes still not smiling much. Will he be okay? Is this going to traumatise him for life? I feel like the worlds worst parent atm, I'm just an emotional wreck myself right now because this shouldn't have happened 😞

OP posts:
Annoyedandirritated · 03/04/2022 11:41

Don’t worry he will be fine you obviously needed the sleep x

GlumyGloomer · 03/04/2022 11:42

No, he will not remember this. It's no ideal but he was in a safe place at least. Lot's of extra hugs today will do you both good and try to move on.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/04/2022 11:42

He's going to be fine sweetheart,don't worry. He was safe in his cot, he didn't think you were dead as he doesn't know what that means yet. Try and have a quiet day and an early night if possible x

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 03/04/2022 11:43

Oh @ilovedoggs don't be so hard on yourself-
you obviously were in desperate need of that sleep.
Do you have any help/support at home?

Re DS-He was safe and he will be fine-the poo bit was unfortunate but you need to put it behind you and just have a nice day with him.
He won't be scarred by this- babies are very resilient!

Obelisk · 03/04/2022 11:43

He’ll be fine, lots of cuddles and reassurance today. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes x

Oblomov22 · 03/04/2022 11:43

Please don't worry. He is fine and won't remember.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/04/2022 11:43

Also, he could well have dozed or just been content in the cot and not screaming for hours.

NuffSaidSam · 03/04/2022 11:46

He won't have been screaming for long, you would have woken up.

He probably pooed and started crying a few minutes before you woke up. Not ideal, but really not a massive problem either.

He'll be fine!

RosesAndHellebores · 03/04/2022 11:46

I very much doubt he was crying or screaming before about 10.58. You needed a sleep; he was fine and safe. Not a problem.

NinaManiana · 03/04/2022 11:46

You must have been exhausted. Don’t be too hard on yourself. He was safe. What he’s learned from the experience is that mummy is still there so there’s nothing to stress about x

mycatisannoying · 03/04/2022 11:48

Don't worry, he'll be fine Grin

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 03/04/2022 11:48

Please don't be harsh on yourself.

You have no idea how long he's been screaming, probably only a few minutes or you'd have no doubt woken and heard him.

He's fine and he certainly won't remember this tomorrow, let alone years down the line.

MsChatterbox · 03/04/2022 11:50

I bet he was crying 10 mins max. I had something similar where I was asleep and my daughter was crying in the next room. My husband was awake downstairs but thought she was already with me and just being difficult to settle (she usually would have been by that time but did an unusually long stretch!). I felt absolutely awful but fed her and she settled. Remember some people choose to leave their babies crying on purpose. This was an accident so forgive yourself x

LazyJayne · 03/04/2022 11:50

“Is he traumatised for life?”

Hmm
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 03/04/2022 11:51

I don't think a one year has the thought capacity to think you were dead or remember anything so don't worry about that. You obvioulsy woke up as quickly as you were able to and no harm was done

I'd move on and not give it another thought, I'm sure we've all been exhausted at one time or another, it's just life with a baby

AmbushedByCake · 03/04/2022 11:51

When my DS was that age I picked up a bug. He was asleep in his cot when I went to vomit and was awake screaming his head off by the time I came back. I bet your child was only squealing for a minute or two.

LittleDidSheKnow · 03/04/2022 11:55

He’ll be fine and will have forgotten this already; you’ll have got some much needed sleep!

Be kind to yourself, you sound like such a caring and conscientious mother.

NotNowBoris · 03/04/2022 11:55

He won't have been crying for long. They can go from being perfectly happy to raging or upset very quickly. You needed rest and put him somewhere safe. You haven't done anything irresponsible. Sometimes we are on our own and need some rest, thats just the way it is.

Are you feeling more refreshed now? Is there anyone who can help out a bit otherwise?

Thedogscollar · 03/04/2022 11:58

@ilovedoggs
By posting this alone your unconditional love and mothers guilt shines thro.
He came to no harm. Lots of cuddles today xx

Thedogscollar · 03/04/2022 12:00

@LazyJayne

“Is he traumatised for life?”

Hmm

No need. That's how mums feel sometimes. Just no need
OfstedOffred · 03/04/2022 12:05

He will literally have been crying all of 5 minutes before you woke.

stuntbubbles · 03/04/2022 12:05

But you did hear him: he woke you. He was probably totally content just to be near you, TV on, right up until he pooed. Then he screamed, you woke and sorted him out, and now he’s fine. You did the right thing by going to sleep with him safe: you needed to sleep!

Original poster
ilovedoggs · 03/04/2022 12:08

Oh thank you all for all of your kind and reassuring words! I have support but it's mainly baby and me most days as DH works.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 03/04/2022 12:09

@stuntbubbles

But you did hear him: he woke you. He was probably totally content just to be near you, TV on, right up until he pooed. Then he screamed, you woke and sorted him out, and now he’s fine. You did the right thing by going to sleep with him safe: you needed to sleep!
This exactly.

Babies cry when they need you, you heard him and sorted it. He’s fine. I think the not wanting to get off your boob is him responding to you. Just draw a line and get back to your normal routine.

Moody123 · 03/04/2022 12:14

I imagine he went to sleep and then woke up, cried and you woke up when he cried ... I can't imagine you would have slept through hours of him crying, I don't think we are wired that way to be able to ...