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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fell asleep and didn't hear baby

74 replies

ilovedoggs · 03/04/2022 11:39

This morning 1 yr old DS and I woke up as usual and I offered him his breakfast but he didn't want too much of it so I went back in the bedroom and I put the tv on and him in his cot so I could snooze for a few minutes, this isn't something I usually do, I was just so tired and I always hear him if he starts to fuss but today I was just so exhausted to the point where I didn't even hear him. It was about 9:25 when I put him in there and I woke up at 11 to him screaming. The cot is literally next to the bed I don't know how I didn't hear him. What's worse is he had done a poo and he was just sitting there in it screaming for me and I wasn't responding he must've thought I was dead 😭. He was crying uncontrollably while I changed him and this week I've been weaning him off the breast so I don't usually give a breastfeed in the day time but I gave him one to calm him down. He's calm now but doesn't want to get off it and hes still not smiling much. Will he be okay? Is this going to traumatise him for life? I feel like the worlds worst parent atm, I'm just an emotional wreck myself right now because this shouldn't have happened 😞

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 03/04/2022 12:17

He won't be traumatised for life and he didn't think you were dead. You needed the sleep, obviously, and you probably need a bit more sleep now. Just be kind to yourself.

Chely · 03/04/2022 12:18

He'll get over it.

I have been that tired too. You feel a bit rubbish that they get so upset but it doesn't leave any lasting damage if it only happens occasionally.

Amybelle88 · 03/04/2022 12:19

Don't be so hard on yourself - he won't remember at all, he was safe in his cot and you've needed the sleep.

You're not superhuman just because you're a mum, stop worrying xx

tokyo1 · 03/04/2022 12:30

I've done this before but I didn't hear the monitor whilst dc was asleep in the night. Honestly I bet he was only crying for a few mins until you stirred. Even if it was longer, he will not remember. Go easy on yourself, it happens Thanks

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/04/2022 12:32

He will be fine. You needed the sleep evidently. Don’t worry and be kind to yourself.

Kittykat93 · 03/04/2022 12:35

If you were right next to him you can't have slept through him crying for an hour. Of course he won't be traumatised for life, he had a cry because he had a dirty nappy, you woke up and changed him, isn't that what happens at night time? Doesn't make it any worse just because it's in the day.

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/04/2022 12:37

@Kittykat93

If you were right next to him you can't have slept through him crying for an hour. Of course he won't be traumatised for life, he had a cry because he had a dirty nappy, you woke up and changed him, isn't that what happens at night time? Doesn't make it any worse just because it's in the day.
That’s very true!
FTEngineerM · 03/04/2022 12:38

You literally just took a nap and he woke you when he needed you.

Don’t look into it anymore than that.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/04/2022 12:38

Oh, you’re exhausted.
He’s forgotten it already.
Is there anyone who can spend the occasional night with you, so you can sleep?

maddiemookins16mum · 03/04/2022 12:42

His crying woke you, he would have only just started.

TheirTheyre · 03/04/2022 12:43

Agree he will be fine. Won’t remember. Not unusual Robbie so exhausted you fall asleep and don’t hear them at first. He was in his cot, safe and fed. Don’t stress. The worst that would have happened is he had a dirty nappy. You did nothing wrong. Flowers

Clymene · 03/04/2022 12:43

Honestly you would have woken up the minute he started screaming. You were right next to him! Don't worry Smile

KeepYaHeadUp · 03/04/2022 12:45

Frankly OP, the fact that you're worried about the effect this relatively insignificant moment had on him means hes going to be absolutely fine. If this happened daily and he was regularly ignored and cries went unanswered then yes that would be an issue. I can guarantee you're suffering now more than he is.

username9871028 · 03/04/2022 12:51

Don’t worry! As others have stated, he wouldn’t have been crying like that for long! He may well have dozed off himself. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing an amazing job Flowers

Oysterbabe · 03/04/2022 12:54

I bet he was screaming for no more than a minute.

dottydodah · 03/04/2022 13:04

He will be fine please dont worry! I think you needed the sleep .Probably woke when he started crying straight after his poo! He wont remember anything quit honestly.

DarkShade · 03/04/2022 13:04

Honestly OP he wouldn't have been screaming very long at all! Deep deep sleep lasts only a few minutes, you were probably right in the middle of that type of sleep which is why you didn't hear him. He will be absolutely fine, you obviously needed the sleep.

GirlOfTudor · 03/04/2022 13:04

No he won't remember this and be traumatised. He's a baby.
You put him in his cot so he was safe. You clearly needed the extra sleep. I wouldn't think he was crying for long at all.
He just wants your comfort and closeness. I wouldn't worry about that tbh. Enjoy it while he's still young and don't beat yourself up. Nothing was done with bad intentions.

GrunkleStan · 03/04/2022 13:05

Be kind to yourself op.

Feeellostindirection · 03/04/2022 13:08

I very much doubt he was crying all that time, few mins at most and that's what woke you, he prob dozed too or was chilling in his cot. As for being in a pooey nappy, that happens! I remember that all encompassing feeling of exhaustion in the early days op and it's awful, you needed that sleep. Don't feel bad, your dc will be absolutely fine.

Violet1988 · 03/04/2022 13:11

You literally did nothing wrong. You were exhausted you put him on a safe place and went to sleep. Just the same as if it was night. I'm sure he wasn't screaming for ages before you woke. He had probably just started. Screaming would have woken you unless you had been taking sleeping pills or something. He's not damaged by it and he didn't think you were dead. He's fine xx

tcjotm · 03/04/2022 13:34

He’d probably write

“Dear Babiesnet. Mummy and I had nice naps this morning. I woke a bit before her. It was funny seeing her sleeping. But then I did a poo and it was yucky so I screamed for her to wake up. She cleaned me up but she’s been very upset ever since and I don’t know why. So I am staying close to her and not smiling so I match her mood. Do you have any other suggestions to show her I understand today is a sad face day?”

tcjotm · 03/04/2022 13:35

You did nothing wrong. You would’ve woken if he’d screamed long. Indeed you did wake up when he started. He’s totally fine 💕

HadEnoughOfBears · 03/04/2022 13:38

@tcjotm

He’d probably write

“Dear Babiesnet. Mummy and I had nice naps this morning. I woke a bit before her. It was funny seeing her sleeping. But then I did a poo and it was yucky so I screamed for her to wake up. She cleaned me up but she’s been very upset ever since and I don’t know why. So I am staying close to her and not smiling so I match her mood. Do you have any other suggestions to show her I understand today is a sad face day?”

Absolutely this!
Whatsmyname100 · 03/04/2022 13:39

Aww. He will be ok. And don't be too hard on yourself, you must have been so exhausted.

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