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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have cried in asda

705 replies

Littlemissdan · 02/04/2022 20:39

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Imitatingdory · 05/04/2022 15:52

TerraNovaTwo well, if you had read the thread, or even just OP’s posts you would see that OP’s DC qualify for FSM under the rules whereby DC who were eligible for FSM retain eligibility until the end of the phase of education even if they stop meeting the criteria. So, no need for the Hmm.

ReadyToMoveIt · 05/04/2022 16:20

@TerraNovaTwo

Haven't rtft... but from what I understand you have to be on a VERY low wage/ unemployed/on income support to qualify for FSM. And if you qualify for FSM, you should also qualify for UC - which includes a child element.

Many parents who also cannot afford their groceries and earn far below the national median wage actually do not qualify for FSM for their DC.

Something doesn't add up here, OP?Hmm

I never get the mentality of someone who can’t be arsed to read the thread but still comes on to make a shitty comment about something that is likely to have already been addressed. As though no one else would have thought about asking for clarification earlier in the thread, and they’re the only ones clever enough to have picked up on it.
It just makes you look like a twat.
Original poster
Littlemissdan · 05/04/2022 16:49

@TerraNovaTwo

Haven't rtft... but from what I understand you have to be on a VERY low wage/ unemployed/on income support to qualify for FSM. And if you qualify for FSM, you should also qualify for UC - which includes a child element.

Many parents who also cannot afford their groceries and earn far below the national median wage actually do not qualify for FSM for their DC.

Something doesn't add up here, OP?Hmm

Maybe do yourself a favour as the two previous posters have suggested, and read the thread before coming to accuse me of lying.
OP posts:
LikeAStar1994 · 05/04/2022 17:35

@TerraNovaTwo

Haven't rtft... but from what I understand you have to be on a VERY low wage/ unemployed/on income support to qualify for FSM. And if you qualify for FSM, you should also qualify for UC - which includes a child element.

Many parents who also cannot afford their groceries and earn far below the national median wage actually do not qualify for FSM for their DC.

Something doesn't add up here, OP?Hmm

Wonderful. Kicking the OP while she is down. Did that make you feel better at all?

You'll get what's coming to you.

wintersparkle1987 · 05/04/2022 17:37

@SpringsSprung if she's buying nappies that might be the case for her? x

Notyourtypicalvirgo · 05/04/2022 17:58

@Littlemissdan

I’m so sorry so many of you are in the same boat, it’s so wrong. I’ll have a look at Olio, thank you. Yes, I’ve also ran out of petrol and need to get to work tomorrow. It’s costing £10 a day to get to and from work in our previously quite economical car. I have no idea what we’re going to do next winter. At least my 2yo will have her funded hours come September so the childcare bill will reduce.
If you can buy the premium unleaded fuel. It's the old e5 petrol. The unleaded we use now is e10 which is 10% biodiesel however it's less fuel efficient which is why you might find you are filling up more often and your petrol isn't lasting. I made the switch and I can happily say a tank is lasting the length of time it should and it is only really a £1 or so more in comparison to regular unleaded for half a tank.

Typical conservative con...charging more for petrol that burns quicker and watching all that tax just rolling in....

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/04/2022 18:05

@TerraNovaTwo

Haven't rtft... but from what I understand you have to be on a VERY low wage/ unemployed/on income support to qualify for FSM. And if you qualify for FSM, you should also qualify for UC - which includes a child element.

Many parents who also cannot afford their groceries and earn far below the national median wage actually do not qualify for FSM for their DC.

Something doesn't add up here, OP?Hmm

Op applied for uc when dh lost his job

Once in the system the child gets the Fsm vouchers and food vouchers on school holidays of £15 a week till they leave education

Even if stop getting uc

Friend queried this as went on uc when covid hit as had a toddler snd both dh snd her self employed

They said she was entitled to it

Once off uc still got the food vouchers and some yearly school fund

She told the teacher to spend on whatever the class needed as we didn’t need it

The school likes having children on uc and pupil premium. Think it’s called that

As the school will get a grant as well which they can use

So even tho friend was on uc for 6mths her son will get the meals/benefits fir entire school life

So she takes the food vouchers and buys £15 of food and puts in box fir food bank

Babyroobs · 05/04/2022 18:08

I don't think the fsm is for the whole school life ?? Maybe until the end of the key stage the child is in. It's ridiculous if so as parents could have moved on to well paid jobs in time and still getting FSM ??

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/04/2022 18:14

That’s why she queried it but was told till left year 6

Imitatingdory · 05/04/2022 18:18

The retained eligibility isn’t until the pupil leaves education, just until they finish either primary or secondary, as per the government’s page.

RagzRebooted · 05/04/2022 18:19

@TerraNovaTwo

Haven't rtft... but from what I understand you have to be on a VERY low wage/ unemployed/on income support to qualify for FSM. And if you qualify for FSM, you should also qualify for UC - which includes a child element.

Many parents who also cannot afford their groceries and earn far below the national median wage actually do not qualify for FSM for their DC.

Something doesn't add up here, OP?Hmm

You remain eligible until the end of their education now, so I still get them despite now being on £30k a year - but I'm supporting a family of 5 on that since DH had a mental breakdown last year, so it really helps! It's set up like this because not only do they get FSM, but also Pupil Premium and it's well known that growing up in poverty has lasting effects on children's attainment so they decided that it was better for them to remain eligible. It's harsh that the threshold is so low though as I know many who could really do with them but don't qualify.
Imitatingdory · 05/04/2022 18:29

RagzRebooted it isn’t until the end of their education, just until the end of the phase of schooling the pupil is in on the 31st of March next year. It should have been this year but the transition to UC was slower than the government expected.

tsmainsqueeze · 05/04/2022 18:35

@Littlemissdan

I’m so glad that my thread has opened up so much help and advice for others in my situation. The kindness on here is overwhelming (aside from the one who just HAD to chime in with cancelling the tv package!). Thank you everyone who’s contributed with either solidarity, helpful advice, and general kindness. To the people in the same dire situation, all we can do is make sure we’re getting all we’re entitled to, and keep pushing on. It can’t be like this forever, it just can’t.
It is so hard and such a massive worry for so many of us ,i think you are possibly and hopefully right that it can't be like this forever. Call me cynical but we do have elections coming up , not to long til general elections also, i think this may influence what help the government scum choose to give us plebs to hopefully ease our miserable existences a little.
Crikeyalmighty · 05/04/2022 19:02

Also, it’s easy for even working people to get into situations like this— it only takes reduced hours or loss of 1 job to realise you have either a mortgage you can no longer afford or rent you struggle to pay but have no money freed up to move elsewhere that’s a bit more affordable and that you earn just over levels for UC (and even then on housing it will often cover way under what your rent actually is due to ‘local limits’ ) — so people end up stuck in housing they can no longer afford and trying to cut costs elsewhere.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/04/2022 19:11

@Imitatingdory

The retained eligibility isn’t until the pupil leaves education, just until they finish either primary or secondary, as per the government’s page.
Sorry meant education as in primary school

So her son gets till he leaves yr 6

Assume won’t get in secondary school but he’s only 5 so years away

Babyroobs · 05/04/2022 19:23

I think it is to the end of the key stage they are in so if the child is 5 it wont be until year 6.

Imitatingdory · 05/04/2022 19:44

Babyroobs it isn’t until the end of the key stage but until the end of primary or the end of secondary, it’s on the government page about free school meals I linked to.

StrawberrySanta · 05/04/2022 20:09

The Sun have used this as a story, just seen it on Facebook

TerraNovaTwo · 05/04/2022 20:22

There's something really wrong with the system when you can keep FSM regardless of income. My monthly full time salary is significantly propped up by UC, am a lone parent/one income household yet still do not qualify for FSM even though I struggle financially!

I too cry and stay up into the small hours to obsessively calculate bills and our monthly budget, so I will Hmm thank you very much.

Print that!

ReadyToMoveIt · 05/04/2022 20:25

@TerraNovaTwo

There's something really wrong with the system when you can keep FSM regardless of income. My monthly full time salary is significantly propped up by UC, am a lone parent/one income household yet still do not qualify for FSM even though I struggle financially!

I too cry and stay up into the small hours to obsessively calculate bills and our monthly budget, so I will Hmm thank you very much.

Print that!

It’s not the OP’s fault that she gets them and you don’t though, is it? She qualifies, based on the rules. Would you prefer she hands them back, to appease your sensitivities?
HTH1 · 05/04/2022 20:52

@Littlemissdan

My restaurant was one of them, I raised £600 in cash donations and a stock room full of food within 4 days, it was so humbling and made me so proud of our community.
If you work at a (very kind and charitable) restaurant, why not tell them the truth? I bet they would help rather than letting you go hungry.
SaintJavelin · 05/04/2022 20:53

@TerraNovaTwo

There's something really wrong with the system when you can keep FSM regardless of income. My monthly full time salary is significantly propped up by UC, am a lone parent/one income household yet still do not qualify for FSM even though I struggle financially!

I too cry and stay up into the small hours to obsessively calculate bills and our monthly budget, so I will Hmm thank you very much.

Print that!

It's not a race to the fucking bottom and it's not OP's fault that you're not eligible.
TerraNovaTwo · 05/04/2022 21:06

Well, of course not the OP's fault! The government need to sort it and schools ought to be better regulated wrt trying to retain pupil premiums.

Babyroobs · 05/04/2022 21:11

@TerraNovaTwo

Well, of course not the OP's fault! The government need to sort it and schools ought to be better regulated wrt trying to retain pupil premiums.
Agree. I'm all for people getting what they are entitled to but fsm for potentially another six years after the period of hardship has ended just seems bizarre and I'm really surprised this happens to be honest.
ReadyToMoveIt · 05/04/2022 21:16

I tend not to begrudge people who have been through tough times getting a bit of help.
I also definitely don’t begrudge schools getting some extra funding.