To have cried in asda

[Littlemissdan]

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

But if you leave them and their children to starve, they’ll have an incentive to ‘put the effort in to get back on their feet’! They won’t do that if they’re not starving, will they?! They’ll just sit at home watching their flat screen TV’s! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I know you are being facetious, but there is something in that. I always want there to be a good safety net for those that need it but it should be time limited.

I'm quite sure more people would work / work more hours / study harder if they knew that there wouldn't always be benefits for them.

Also having children without being in a long term relationship / having children without considering long term finances.

I don't think so Brie, desperation isn't the best place to make solid long-term decisions from, you end up just focused on the very basics of life and highly stressed - with knock on physical health effects.

People make better decisions when they aren't scared of whether they will have to go without food.

Also our current system is already insecure and limited. Just ask anyone who has been sanctioned or ended up with debt because of waiting for the first payment. Or even just being stuck on a tiny fixed income when utilities, food and transport costs are rising sharply.

I don't think so Brie, desperation isn't the best place to make solid long-term decisions from, you end up just focused on the very basics of life and highly stressed - with knock on physical health effects.

People make better decisions when they aren't scared of whether they will have to go without food.

Also our current system is already insecure and limited. Just ask anyone who has been sanctioned or ended up with debt because of waiting for the first payment. Or even just being stuck on a tiny fixed income when utilities, food and transport costs are rising sharply.

@Brieandcamembert

But if you leave them and their children to starve, they’ll have an incentive to ‘put the effort in to get back on their feet’! They won’t do that if they’re not starving, will they?! They’ll just sit at home watching their flat screen TV’s! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I know you are being facetious, but there is something in that. I always want there to be a good safety net for those that need it but it should be time limited.

I'm quite sure more people would work / work more hours / study harder if they knew that there wouldn't always be benefits for them.

Also having children without being in a long term relationship / having children without considering long term finances.

I volunteer at a food bank and lots of people who need it are too sick to work, or they are carers, or single parents who cannot work outside of school hours. A lot of single parents are in relationships when they have the children but relationships break down. It’s not unreasonable to expect that people in this position have a basic standard of living.

I'm quite sure more people would work / work more hours / study harder if they knew that there wouldn't always be benefits for them.

Living on benefits is grim. Many of the people we help would love to just “work more hours” but they can’t. It would mean leaving their bedbound Mum to soil the bed, neglecting their children. There’s also a lot of depression and anxiety amongst this group.

@Brieandcamembert in the main, do you think people are on benefits because it’s a nice, easy life? Because it’s comfortable and fun?
Most people are on benefits because they’re unable to work due to physical or mental ill health, disabilities, or because of caring responsibilities. Starving them and their children isn’t going to make them ‘buck up and get a job’, is it?
And as for your second point… what about those children who are already here? The parents can’t go back and change it, can they? So those children who have already been born should suffer because their parents didn’t make better decisions before their birth?

Also having children without being in a long term relationship / having children without considering long term finances.
Yeah, fuck all those women whose partners turn abusive once they get pregnant, or whose partners leave, or who get pregnant accidentally, or who don’t ever meet the right person but want to be a parent anyway; and fuck everybody who has a child then loses their job, or is faced with, say, a global pandemic that shuts down their industry or ruins their business, or is faced with an energy crisis that means their long-term financial planning means nothing because costs have doubled, or whose financial plans change because of their partner walking out, or they have unplanned twins vs the singleton they were aiming for.

Listen to yourself.

This is basically the government's attitude though isn't it? Work a few more hours...cancel Netflix...and if you starve/freeze to death...or die in a diabetic coma because your electricity has been cut off and you can't keep you insulin chilled (this has actually happened recently), then too bad. They don't care.

Straight to the point there

@Sugarplumfairy65

[quote PassThePringles]Just a heads up OP that your thread has made it into The Mirror. www.mirror.co.uk/money/mum-cries-asda-cost-living-26623854?int_source=nba#comments-wrapper[/quote]
And the Sun.

I have been in touch with the mirror and they’ve removed the link to this post, and added a link to donate to the Trussel Trust.
I’m annoyed they’ve taken my post but actually if it highlights the cost of living crisis that we’re living through AND signposts people to either help they need or can give, then I will take that.

@Littlemissdan

I have been in touch with the mirror and they’ve removed the link to this post, and added a link to donate to the Trussel Trust. I’m annoyed they’ve taken my post but actually if it highlights the cost of living crisis that we’re living through AND signposts people to either help they need or can give, then I will take that.

Actually good for them.

That’s an appropriate response to your complaint.

I always want there to be a good safety net for those that need it but it should be time limited.

That makes absolutely zero sense @Brieandcamembert - surely you can see that?

I live in abject fear that my health will deteriorate further before I can pipe enough into my pension and ISAs to survive an early medical retirement.

I already use a wheelchair and my condition is degenerative.

I’m lucky, though, to command a good daily rate/salary and have the ability to save hard.

What honestly do you expect essential NMW workers to do if they lose the ability to work permanently or long term, or are forced into caring long term?

The benefits system IS the safety net that we all pay NICs for. It should be based on need.

The payment levels are already inadequate for a decent but modest standard of living, how would you justify putting a time limit on too? What would happen to the people who timed out? Workhouse? Euthanasia?

I can’t find the Sun article to email them though, if anyone comes across it could you link it please?

@Littlemissdan

I have been in touch with the mirror and they’ve removed the link to this post, and added a link to donate to the Trussel Trust. I’m annoyed they’ve taken my post but actually if it highlights the cost of living crisis that we’re living through AND signposts people to either help they need or can give, then I will take that.

That's good.

www.devonlive.com/news/uk-world-news/mum-ends-up-tears-asda-6901551?utm_source=linkCopy&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sharebar

And Devon Live…

"I'm quite sure more people would work / work more hours / study harder if they knew that there wouldn't always be benefits for them."

And I'm quite sure you've no idea what you're on about, but as a short educational post...

Let's take a look just at long term unemployment:

www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/employmentandemployeetypes/bulletins/employmentintheuk/march2021

Meanwhile, the number of people in long-term unemployment (those unemployed for over 12 months) has increased by 54,000 on the year, and 3,000 on the quarter, to 360,000.

67million people in the UK
360k long term unemployed.
0.5373134328358209% of the population

So effectively, you're in favour of removing benefits that help just 0.5% of the population feed themselves.

Real good of you, what a nice person.

@Littlemissdan Good for you. Seriously. I really applaud you for taking action with the paper.

Oh and if anyone was wondering:
There's 1186 towns & 70 cities in the UK.

Total of 1256 "Places" not including villages.

360000 divided by that many places means 286 or so long term unemployed people per place.

The media portrays millions of "scroungers" and idiots believe it. In reality, there's a couple hundred per city, fewer per town, fewer still per village...

Yet everyone on these threads always knows loads people and families that "Have never had a job"
Unfortunately, the facts don't back up the bullshit.

Do you mind me asking , there are two of you and you must both be working as you mention childcare costs ? How do you get frees school meals and half term vouchers with 2 wages coming in? Just curious.

I sun feed came up yesterday on my Facebook. A vet in his 70’s who sat in the dark without heating with only a flask of tea every evening as he couldn’t afford to turn the lights, heating or have a tv. He even volunteered at a food bank but wouldn’t are any donations as he said their were families with young children who needed it more.
My heart bleed for him especially when on mums et you read so often of posters blaming his generation for the fact they cannot afford to buy a house. And yet this man sat in the cold and dark every night with just a flask of tea to keep him going thinking he will be dead by Christmas but still putting others before himself.
I can only hope that someone local to him( he’s in hull if anyone read the story and has the means to help him) will reach out to him.

@Babyroobs

Do you mind me asking , there are two of you and you must both be working as you mention childcare costs ? How do you get frees school meals and half term vouchers with 2 wages coming in? Just curious.

We became eligible during the pandemic when my other half lost his job, and we retain the eligibility.

@Proudboomer

I sun feed came up yesterday on my Facebook. A vet in his 70’s who sat in the dark without heating with only a flask of tea every evening as he couldn’t afford to turn the lights, heating or have a tv. He even volunteered at a food bank but wouldn’t are any donations as he said their were families with young children who needed it more. My heart bleed for him especially when on mums et you read so often of posters blaming his generation for the fact they cannot afford to buy a house. And yet this man sat in the cold and dark every night with just a flask of tea to keep him going thinking he will be dead by Christmas but still putting others before himself. I can only hope that someone local to him( he’s in hull if anyone read the story and has the means to help him) will reach out to him.

Are you hard of thinking? Of course younger generations can blame older generations! It’s largely our generations that kept voting for the policies that led us to the current situation. It doesn’t mean that we can’t simultaneously have empathy for elderly people who are on a low income, who are suffering as well as families.