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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to sleep, not clean?

56 replies

Coldspring · 02/04/2022 14:17

We have a fifteen month old and have had a really rough week with sleep. Ds only wants me at night. (I know that the MN consensus is - tough, just make DH do it, but ds cries and so wakes me. In other words I don’t get any more sleep if DH helps and probably a lot less.)

I could just really do with a couple of hours sleep but DH wants to clean … AIBU to want this to wait? (Dh can’t get on with it while I sleep as he’ll be loud and anyway someone needs to watch DS.)

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 02/04/2022 14:20

Yes you go to bed and get some sleep..

Notimeforaname · 02/04/2022 14:20

He cant force you to clean. Do what you want.

TillyTopper · 02/04/2022 14:25

We he can clean. Just go to bed, put some ear plugs in and sleep.

Original poster
Coldspring · 02/04/2022 14:26

I need to move to MN land. Everything is simple there.

Thanks.

OP posts:
Grumpyoctopus · 02/04/2022 14:33

I remember those days, it sucks but doesn't last forever I promise!

I would probably compromise, and one of you do a wee blast of cleaning (like 40 mins, not hours of it) then have a decent nap with ear plugs in.

Natty13 · 02/04/2022 14:34

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JackieWeaversLaptop · 02/04/2022 14:36

Can’t DH clean and also keep an eye on DS? YADNBU for wanting to sleep - please do get some sleep Flowers

CaptainCarp · 02/04/2022 14:37

Surely theres some kinds of not so noisy cleaning that can be done whilst you take a power nap?

Can DS be put in a bouncy chair or similar for 15 minutes so DH can wash up / clean the kitchen?
I don't know what type of cleaning he's wanting to do..

KosherDill · 02/04/2022 14:38

I clean with no noise. Why can't he?

Absolutelyguttedxmas · 02/04/2022 14:39

Definitely sleep, it's way more important.

Original poster
Coldspring · 02/04/2022 14:41

@Natty13 I did say clearly that I can’t sleep with DH cleaning and DS here.

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 02/04/2022 14:45

Why not? Women routinely have to clean and do other chores with a baby around when they're off on maternity leave, so why can't a man do it? Surely there's some stuff he can get done while you stick some ear plugs and white noise in and have a snooze? High chair with some snacks will allow him to get some bits done in kitchen and give you a rest.

Oh and I wouldn't ask, just say you are exhausted and going for a nap and off you go.

Original poster
Coldspring · 02/04/2022 14:47

Because if you can sleep with a hoover being run around, a toddler running in and out, doors opening and closing constantly …

You can’t. Well, I can’t.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 02/04/2022 14:52

I'll put your shortness down to lack of sleep @Coldspring

Can you ask your DH to take child out for a bit and then both clean / watch child later?

JackieWeaversLaptop · 02/04/2022 14:54

Does the Hoover have to be used now? Can DH do quieter chores instead, and hoover another day/time?

pigsDOfly · 02/04/2022 14:56

I don't understand what you want from this post OP.

You've asked a question, been given some helpful advice and yet you seem to be annoyed by the replies.

You're tired you need to sleep.

If you can't sleep with your husband and child in the house you need to have a conversation with your husband and ask him to take the toddler out for a couple of hours.

If he refuses because he wants to clean then he's being unkind and that's not something anyone on here can do anything about.

dfendyr · 02/04/2022 14:57

can't he dust, tidy, wipe down sides, put stuff away?

Original poster
Coldspring · 02/04/2022 14:58

That’s just the point @Crunchymum

He won’t. He wants to clean.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coldspring · 02/04/2022 14:59

I’m not annoyed by the replies. But I did say everything in my post so everyone just saying to go to bed isn’t helpful. That’s not me being annoyed though, Just correcting people.

OP posts:
HalloHello · 02/04/2022 15:03

You need ear plugs! The hoover wouldn't wake me if I was in my bedroom with earplugs in. What doors are being opened and closed? Is DS coming into your room?

You'll never sleep if you have this no can do attitude. I would make a deal if it were me. I would get my DH to watch the kids, clean downstairs and let me nap. Then I would clean the upstairs the next day. How much is there to do?

TotalRhubarb · 02/04/2022 15:04

Just tell him he can’t clean in the couple of hours you want to sleep in, but can do later, once you’re awake, surely?

Hausa · 02/04/2022 15:19

@Coldspring

That’s just the point *@Crunchymum*

He won’t. He wants to clean.

So, if you go “I really need to sleep due to being up with DS, please take him out for a couple of hours and clean later” what will happen? He’ll just say “no, I want to clean?”

Is your husband a quite inconsiderate person?

SiliconDioxide79 · 02/04/2022 15:19

Ear plugs are absolutely the pits. Hope you get some sleep soon. I would do a short blast together of the vacuuming and then get some sleep. You need to catch up. Sleep deprivation sucks. Good luck.

Goldbar · 02/04/2022 15:23

Why can't you just go into the bedroom and shut the door? Tell your DH he can do any cleaning he likes except hoovering. I'd also tell him that, unless you get to catch up on sleep today/tomorrow, you're booking a couple of nights in a travelodge next weekend so he can learn how to settle DS without you.

Just be very clear with him... your need for sleep trumps his need to clean. If you can't do it at home, you'll go elsewhere to sleep.

Original poster
Coldspring · 02/04/2022 15:28

Goldbar - DS would just be wailing outside. Trust me on this, there is no way to sleep with them in the house. Anyway it has started raining so I am stuck with them!

OP posts: