To think that people think less of me for being a crier.

[DrTeddyAltman]

I cry at everything.
It's got less as I've got older and definitely reduced at work as I've grown in confidence in a relatively new role but there's times when I'm literally on the verge of tears all the time.
If someone ever asks if I'm OK, like a genuine 'How are you?' that's it, I'm off.
I used to cry at having to speak to more senior staff or to ask for anything like time off for medical appointments etc but now im more comfortable that happens less. I cry at giving people bad news or when I have to tell them I haven't/can't do something.
I cry (or almost) when I need to speak formally to people, like DCs teacher at parents evening or the doctor.
I also cry through pride, so practically anytime I watch my DC do a show, play a sport etc.
I cry at anyone performing, doing something to impress other people.
I just don't know how to stop it. It's embarrassing, makes me feel inferior and I'm sure people think less of me for it.
Can anyone please help me stop?!

Eatsleep: "Some people are more sensitive than others, and that's OK."

I disagree. This is not ok. Are you having counselling? I don't know what your answer is, but there is plenty of info, re all the things you can try to at least address this. Are you doing all the things recommended?

I have so much sympathy for this. I cry when I feel there has been an injustice that isn't seen. So it's not that I'm weak (I feel) I do have a really strong reaction to a lack of justice.

Over the years I've found it easier to have a less visible reaction but I'm still having it.

self-compassion is supposed to help you feel less hijacked by your emotions. So the worst thing you could do is berate yourself for crying.

I don't think this is like the Sistine Chapel thing at all!

I cry easily and used to cry a lot at work, it's one reason why it's easier for me being home-based and freelance. But I do think this should be accepted in society as just what some people are like. I like how Keith Brymer Jones (on Great Pottery Throwdown) has made it more acceptable - it's just what he's like and doesn't say anything bad about him. So I think it's OK to say "Oh do excuse me, I'm a terrible cryer, I'll be better in a minute" as if it was hay fever or something, IYSWIM.

However, I think some kinds of therapy might help, e.g. CBT might be useful for finding a way to spot it coming and redirect yourself. I did a mindfulness course and I often use what I learned there to "step outside" strong emotions and help myself calm down.

Another thing someone taught me is that when the tears start, if you put your head back, look up at the ceiling and blink, it can head them off. Obviously in some situations that might also feel silly but I have found it useful sometimes.

[flowers} for you

Oops!

[quote Brunosaiditlookslikerain]@littlesnakes I think you're right, for me anyway, it's not all the time or for any sustained length of time and it's just when I get a rush of emotion. For me it's gratitude, pride, frustration etc rather than feeling sad particularly. It's just for that moment before logic kicks in and I can take control it feels momentarily overwhelming. I get a grip quickly but for those few seconds it's an almost uncontrollable reaction. I had counselling and the counsellor thought that it was overspill from dealing with a lot and getting on with it and it sometimes comes out by crying. The pp who said they say 'this happens, please ignore it' I think that's a good way to handle it. I don't think it will be forever, for me it's a sign I'm not completely in balance right now. OP I also used to uncontrollably blush as a teenager.[/quote]
@littlesnakes this is exactly how it feels. Any rush of emotion, not even necessarily because I'm sad.

OP I could have written this. I thought it was just me. I cry at nursery rhymes I'm singing with my DC, I cry at encanto when the strong sister sings her song. I cry when I have to talk about my DC to nursery/HV about his potential ASD, I cry at all-sorts on TV and in books. I've cried at work a lot. It's embarrassing and I wish i could hold it together. My mum and sister are big criers too interestingly

I would if I’m honest

My emotional reaction is to cry and I fucking hate it. I makes me angry at myself. It makes me feel weak. I hate everything about it. I especially dislike how manipulative I comes across in certain situations (like arguments in relationship) I don't mind showing emotion but I just hate the crying. I acoid confrontation cause I'm worried i will cry. The words I say are still valid, I can articulate myself. But who the fuck will take a crying woman seriously. People advice on detaching from the situation, drink while talking, biting round or pimchjgn arm to distract etc. None of it works. In personal life I tell the person that I might cry but they should ignore it and concentrate on the words or I'll ask for a minute to get myself together in the bathroom. It's just so frisking annoying.

I get what you mean. It must be so annoying for you. But sounds like lots of people have similar to you.

@strawberrysanta and @rewis you sound exactly like I feel! Glad I'm not alone but I'm sorry you feel like this too.

My sister is a crier, makes a drama about the smallest thing (I'm not saying this is you BTW). It's very tiring on the rest of the family. If we have any type of news, good or bad, we argue over who is telling her. I honestly can't deal with her after over 30 years of it. She actually cried when her new pup did its first poo outdoors, that's how bad she is.

Just wanted to pop back with an update...

I have a referral in for an ADHD diagnosis (despite the very long waiting lists!)

Since I spoke to the GP, it's almost like I've been kinder to myself and allowed myself to be just as I am, and lots of the shame and guilt has gone and I'm dealing with situations better. There's been less crying too!

Just reading this back has reminded me again that I'm not alone, so thanks again.